Author Topic: Do exes ever give up???  (Read 1418 times)

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dmr07@live.com

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Do exes ever give up???
« on: February 17, 2011, 09:22:47 AM »
My ex and I were divorced last year and we have three children together. I moved away to start over with  my new love of my life!! I still see my daughters when I am required to through court order. We both have 50/50 custody. He has told them they don't have to come see me. My youngest wants to come live with me and he can't stand that. He is with his lady he left our marriage for. His lawyer send an email to me saying I broke a lot of lawes and he is taking me back to court for custody of the girls and child support and so he doesn't have to pay what he owes me in back child support. Our divorce lasted two years and I am so tired of going to court, I just want to raise my daughters and live the new life I have started. Why won't he just leave me alone??? :(

LaurieS

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2011, 09:30:44 AM »
Hello DMR07... I haven't a clue.. you'd  think that he would  be happy enough starting his new life.. but if one child is pulling away from him, he could be laying the blame on you alone.. not necessarily the fact that this is simply what the child is requesting.  Of course he's going to take you back to court.. he probably did not like the court dictating to him how, who, and how much he was going to pay, see his children, etc.  Luckily for you, his lawyer doesn't get to make the final decisions.  Be strong, take a breather and  you'll get through this.. wishing you luck.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2011, 10:07:28 AM »
I know some that do, and unfortunately some that don't.  And it is very unfortunate for those trying to move on with their lives to have to keep reliving it.  I'm so sorry.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

dmr07@live.com

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2011, 10:21:39 AM »
Thank you for the reply, it helps talking to someone, somedays I just sit here and worry!! I am always scared and seems like I am looking over my shoulder because I am so scared of court and the outcome all the time. Yes he was very upset with what he had to pay in child support and maintenance. Now he is saying he doesn't owe me any back child support and I don't know where he is getting that from. He didn't pay for the first 8 months after he left. He has a lein on the house that he now ownes and I a sure it is not looking good on his part. I know it all comes down to what he has to pay me. Money runs his whole world. His lawyer said it is to dangerous for our three daughters to travel two days a week an hour one way, so that is his reason for taking me back to court, but my lawyer said I an 64 miles away and well within the 150 I could move, so they don't think he has any grounds to stand on, but I have been told that to many times.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2011, 11:15:35 AM »
Well, first of all, I would be contacting my lawyer to have his lawyer stop contacting me directly.  Make them go only through your lawyer.  You should not have to be dealing with his lawyer.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2011, 11:16:14 AM »
You know him better than we do, so your guess about his motives is going to make more sense. People do weird stuff...just to make a statement sometimes; to be annoying and in your face. A better place to pursue this is with an attorney, it seems to me.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

LaurieS

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2011, 11:19:15 AM »
You know him better than we do, so your guess about his motives is going to make more sense. People do weird stuff...just to make a statement sometimes; to be annoying and in your face. A better place to pursue this is with an attorney, it seems to me.

Absolutely, you do need to speak with your attorney, but I took it that you were trying to understand more of the underlying questions of.. what makes some people tick. 

Faithlooksup

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2011, 06:12:16 AM »
My ex and I were divorced last year and we have three children together. I moved away to start over with  my new love of my life!! I still see my daughters when I am required to through court order. We both have 50/50 custody. He has told them they don't have to come see me. My youngest wants to come live with me and he can't stand that. He is with his lady he left our marriage for. His lawyer send an email to me saying I broke a lot of lawes and he is taking me back to court for custody of the girls and child support and so he doesn't have to pay what he owes me in back child support. Our divorce lasted two years and I am so tired of going to court, I just want to raise my daughters and live the new life I have started. Why won't he just leave me alone??? :(
  Hello Mum and Welcome to WWU!!!!!    Wow, I really do understand what you are going thru with the "X."    I am sorry to have to say that the vast majority of x's don't give up, they don't let go for once upon a time you were his and that is just how they think......and now he is putting the chidren in the middle which is wrong, mine did that to me as well, even tho I had complete custody.  He would call his lawyer about anything and everything----he even had a back ground check done on a man I was seeing casually as a Great friend, and I do mean friend there were no bedroom gymnastics involved~~we would go to the movies, the zoo with my boys, out for a light dinner etc.....meanwhile he (the X) is living with another woman whom he left us for and he is pointing a finger at me?????  I remember one day in court the Judge looked at my X and his attorney and said:"Back again I can see, she is not doing anything wrong here so why are you wasting my time?"  I smiled proudly and said: "Thank You your Honor."

Yes, this garbage went on for 2.5 years--I finially fired my attorney and got another one---and he was a Baracuda to say the least...This attorney told me he is playing games and enough is enough...  He slammed dunked him and my divorce was finially over...I even went the full nine yards, I paid extra to get rid of his last name and took back my maiden name.  Mum, we were divorsed in 1989~~its been 22 years--he has been married 2 other times/now he admits he is Gay and has been all his life, along with that he is bipolar...My point is 22 years later he still gives me problems, he still causes trouble.  I just ignore him, he has nothing to do in my life, I do not let him get the best of me~~even tho he has earned that merit...I simply shake my head and move forward.

My advice is just DO everything that you are told to do~~everything--he will eventually make a fool out of himself, so let him...also if possible, find a new attorney for these guys are getting rich off of the games people play.

Don't give up and hang in there~~the Best you can...Toughen up a little and tell him "I dont care what you do.."  Don't show him any fear~~that is what they want for he still wants to be in control of your life...for if he has the children he will still feel in control.  Its totally Bizarre, I know...

Wishing you all the Best...Hugs, Faith

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2011, 11:37:51 AM »
Hi, I am no help. I have only had amicable divorces (4) where we both used the same attorney and only the first one(45 years ago) involved children but I am sure you will find support here. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2011, 12:16:00 PM »
I've been divorced for 12 years, and my ex loves the fact that we have joint custody because I "have" to talk to him.  Uh, no.  I respond to specific emails, very factually, and ignore everything else, including phone calls.  He has taken me to court multiple times because he feels I "don't talk to him enough."  It's easier now that DS is nearly 18, but the X tried to sue for sole custody when DS turned 17, so I really do understand the whole "why won't they stop and what do they hope to accomplish" thing.

Right now, I'm dealing with daily phone calls and nasty emails because DS isn't worshipping him sufficiently.  He's on "ignore," except for a bare minimum of factual information, and the occasional "this is your relationship with DS, so you and he need to work it out."

Hang in there.  And please do get a lawyer, if at all possible.  It does make things easier, and means you don't have to figure out how to deal with his lawyer's bullying tactics by yourself.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Do exes ever give up???
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2011, 12:29:07 PM »
Yeah...get a baraccuda!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher