Author Topic: Kinda sad  (Read 6042 times)

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Offline FAFE

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Kinda sad
« on: February 14, 2011, 10:14:31 AM »
I am over the moon about our new baby girl that my daughter and SIL adopted.  Our local newspaper usually has a space where they will post babies' pictures for special days.  So, I took a picture of our new baby and the title was "2011 Grandparents' Valentine Sweethearts."

I called my daughter to get her in-laws address to send them a copy of the article in the newspaper as I had included their names as being the grandparents too.  Daughter said they probably would not care a thing about having this.  Broke my heart for her.

Granted they are not very loving people and we have almost no relationship with them, I thought this might bring us all a little closer for the sake of this baby that we share. I will give my daughter enough copies that if she wants to give them one then she can. 

Background:  SIl has two brothers.  Oldest brother has 3 adopted children, next brother and his wife are having a baby in July (she is Chinese and her MIL calls her "the chinese girl") and #3 son has an adopted baby with my daughter.  I do not see how they cannot love all God's chilluns - she has no relationship with oldest son's children. 

Just a rant. 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2011, 10:23:01 AM »
I can't help but wonder, even though they have the right to choose whatever path they choose, what it offers them, don't you? Seems really sad to me. Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pooh

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2011, 10:51:01 AM »
Sad to me too.  They are the ones missing out.  How very sweet of you to think of them FAFE.  You are a great Grandma!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline pam1

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2011, 10:54:37 AM »
I don't know...
Please don't take offense, but my parents would be a little embarassed if someone did this without their consent.   They just aren't that kind of people and would find it strange.

I don't think of my parents as unloving, they are just different.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline FAFE

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2011, 11:04:11 AM »
Pam1, I did not think of that, but when we put the birth/adoption announcement in the paper, sil wanted to make sure his parents were included.  I would never think of excluding them and just listing my husband and I.  Maybe I should ask sil next time. 

Offline Pooh

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2011, 11:21:36 AM »
I would have never thought of that either.  I did it on my sons things growing up because they were always in the paper for sports and this and that.  But, the other grandparents liked them, so different story. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline pam1

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2011, 11:24:22 AM »
My parents are very low key...in just about everything.  And proud too.  So this would come to them as strange and a shock. If they wanted to do something like that they would -- I can actually hear my father saying that lol.

And also, I think it's best to be careful about info that goes out in the public in general.  As a parent, I would not want that out there in public.  That's how the loonies start tracking things. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline FAFE

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2011, 11:41:51 AM »
To me, not wanting to be acknowledged as a grandparent or parent is even sadder. 

Offline pam1

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2011, 11:45:28 AM »
To me, not wanting to be acknowledged as a grandparent or parent is even sadder.

What do you mean?  Just curious

I think most people with these kind of fundamental differences in thought will find it hard to see eye to eye.  I can tell you my parents wouldn't even think of it in a perspective as being acknowledged as a grandparent, they already are a grandparent. 

I dunno, I think it's best to leave others relationships alone in general.  Sure it may look funky or sad to others but if it works for them, who's to say it is wrong?  I mean, it really doesn't impact you anyway.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

cremebrulee

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2011, 11:53:28 AM »
To me, not wanting to be acknowledged as a grandparent or parent is even sadder.

yes, but FAFE, we must take into consideration the way others feel....remember, your not wrong for feeling that way, but others might not feel the same way you do about it, and it doesn't make them wrong, it's simply how they are....

and to the person who suggested about not wanting information like that in the paper due to the loonies out there...it really angers me, when I think of how lucky we were as kids, to have the free roam we did to go outside and play...and never had to worry about child molesters or people out there stealing kids for child slavery and prostitition...honestly, being a young mother today would really scare me, however, like anything else, I suppose you get used to it...honestly, I cannot understand why strict laws are not passed to protect our children....but yes, I certainly understand how one might feel this way....and there are a whole lot of loonies out there....it's a shame....

Fafe...I hope your not upset, or feel like we're saying your wrong....your not wrong for your feelings, however, we must learn to take the feelings of others into account, for even though we may disagree or not understand, that person owns those feelings and they are just as important to them, as yours are to you....

does that make any sense?


Offline Pooh

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2011, 11:58:25 AM »
I never thought twice about putting parents names, grandparents names and such when interviewed by the reporter.  And I have to say, I would still do it today.  Just like a wedding announcement lists all the parents, siblings and bridal party, most of the time.  To me, just one of those normal things.  I'm not downing how someone else feels, and if a set of Grandparents asked me not to do it, I wouldn't have...but I wouldn't have thought twice about doing it to begin with.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline FAFE

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2011, 12:49:49 PM »
Right or wrong the gest of my post was that my daughter does not feel that the grandparents of her child would be interested in seeing a picture of the grandchild in the paper.  Regardless of who or who was not listed as a grandparent. 

LaurieS

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2011, 12:55:40 PM »
I was following FAFE.. and that is a sad statement to have to admit to.  Do they show interest in the baby in other ways.  My own mom doesn't show any real interest in her grandkids.. sad but I've accepted it.. oh but once when at a family gathering and all the cousins were sitting comparing who was a doctor, who was a dentist.. then she did sneak out to call and ask what kind of a plane my kid flies lol.. I hated to burst her bubble but he isn't a Top Gun, Tom Cruise kinda guy. 

yellowpin

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2011, 03:31:33 AM »
Quote
Sure it may look funky or sad to others but if it works for them, who's to say it is wrong?  I mean, it really doesn't impact you anyway.
I have no idea, but i hope it won't give me large problem.


yellowpin

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Re: Kinda sad
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2011, 03:36:15 AM »
Quote
Sure it may look funky or sad to others but if it works for them, who's to say it is wrong?  Ps3 accessories, Wii accessories, Xbox 360 accessories I mean, it really doesn't impact you anyway.I have no idea, but i hope it won't give me large problem.



i made a mistake.