A little Valentine sympathy for DS/DH - the man in the middle.

[luise.volta]

 

[Pooh]

Yay!

[Rose799]

Kirk is coming a week from today to stay for three weeks. They have a place 7 miles down the road, so he can have a retreat, but we still hang out often and it is just wonderful. I haven't seen him since October 10th when he moved me into my HUD apartment. Long time! My birthday is March 9th and he always does this every year. Then the both come for three months in the summer. 

You've made me homesick, Luise.  I need to pay DM a visit soon.  I know you'll have a wonderful time, if Kirk can keep up with you~  Have you told him you've been working out at Curves?   

[luise.volta]

 

[ladyfirstdilsecond]

Seasage--as a DIL, I cannot get behind this.  For children, V-Day is for fun and candy.  As an adult, though, V-Day is about love and romance--not exactly a MIL-type holiday.  Our DH's don't need to get candy and fun from their mothers.  This is somewhere that I do put my foot down, and my DH doesn't speak with his mother, so I don't need to worry about it.  This is a day about romance and love.  Yes, my MIL "loves" (ie: tries to control and manipulate) her son as I am sure I will love my son.  But there comes a time when a man chooses--he chooses his wife over his mother when he takes a wedding vow, just as his mother did when she married his father.  He chose who he loves first and who he loves "more" as a promise to God.  In my opinion, I don't see any reason for a MIL to contact her son (or adult daughters, for that matter) for V-Day.  They aren't children and it isn't about candy and fun.  It's about love and romance...and no son in the world should have any sort of romantic love for his mother.  Just like no mother should expect something from her son on V-Day.  She has Mother's Day for a showing of how much she means to him.  Let the DIL have V-Day since that is the day SHE is supposed to be recognized for how much she means to her husband.  Instead of wanting to be shown how much she means to her son, perhaps MILs should stop fighting over this day and let it fall where it should--into the marriage of her DS and DIL. 

[luise.volta]

Many do just that. Read earlier posts and treads. Many do. We are talking about the exceptions here.

[Tara]

My DS called me on valentines day to wish me happy v-day .

[luise.volta]

And knowing you...you neither expected or demanded it. 

If we go through the V-cards for sale...they cover every possible interaction....(to sell more!) Way beyond kids and romance. Everything and everyone under the son. Buyer's choice. For the last five years that Val was with me at home...I said "Look what you got for me for Valentine's Day!" And he loved it! 

[holliberri]

Tara, that was very nice, I think. I don't see the harm in that at all. I think my MIL only calls us to try to get usa to celebrate the day with each other. She can't understand why DH and I don't celebrate it. I think she is just trying to get us to jump on the band wagon. Perhaps if I took the holiday more seriously, it would bother me more, but it seems so insignificant to me that I  don't mind. Plus, I never turn down chocolate.

[Tara]

Yeah, I certainly didn't expect it.  It was nice to know through these hard times he was thinking of me.

Holli, yeah, chocolate anytime.  I like what I think you call your minimalist style.


I sent two of my grandgirls who were old enough to 'get it' valentines, and I heard something on a radio about one woman loved getting cards from her grandmother  with a little cash in them, so  for the older one, I put $10.00 in it.

[luise.volta]

I sent one with a little dog on it to Kirk's lady, Sandy. She emailed me that she was so touched that she cried because it looked like the ones she got from her mom when she was alive. No romance going between Sandy and me and she's not a child...but we connected on Valentine's day.

[Tara]

Luise,  Touching!   

thats how it is for me too.  I sometimes get valentines from my women friends, especially one who is like a sister,
in fact we call each others sister.

[LaurieS]

I would be concerned about anyone who felt the need to find something sexual in a mother wishing her son/daughter/dil/sil etc a Happy Valentine's Day.  My dd calls her Daddy at work to wish him a special day, it's just something that they do, and  you know what I think it does make him feel special. 

Now once again I am not talking about the extreme people on earth, holding whatever title they have.. I do not think that it's my place to come between my son and his wife on V-day, but if I sent a card, or a phone call and my dil accused me of having some sort of sexual insinuations, I'd have to be wondering about the mentality of my dil.  Thankfully I think she is pretty balanced and would not resort to those types of accusations to try to drive home a point that probably does not exist.

[Rose799]

My DS called me on valentines day to wish me happy v-day .

I'm very happy for you, Tara~

[tryingmybest]

yeah, I have to agree. For a DIL to have immediate issues with a son sending a Valentine to his Mom concerns me. I think cards, except for BD cards should be addressed to the couple though. I don't get the "chooses his wife over his mother thing". Mothers and Wives fill vastly different places. When either woman feels they are in competition with the other - THAT's when the problems start, IMO.