Author Topic: remember to always end with "i love you"  (Read 2051 times)

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erma

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remember to always end with "i love you"
« on: December 20, 2010, 02:41:03 PM »
hello all. i haven't written for a time, I've been busy with holidays and funerals. it is with a heavy heart i write this now.  my best male friend in the world, lost his 16 yr old over thanksgiving. then we had 2 more deaths in our family. all within a week of my bff's sons death.   there are no words for the pain, sometimes the hurt is just to big for words. they say it death comes in three's, i hope its gone for a while. this child was so amazing, he was so beyond his years. i cant and never want to imagine the death of a child. 
i know all of us on here always tell our children and family we love them, but i guess i just needed to say, live every day to the fullest, let your loved ones know you love them, never take anything for granted, always end with "i love you"
 
rest in peace my loved ones............... :'( :'( :'(

LaurieS

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2010, 03:00:30 PM »
Erma, there are no words when you lose someone you love.  I'm sure you were there for your friend as he tried to absorb what is not even fathomable to most of us.  The loss of a child would be the absolute hardest thing on earth to deal with, next to that would be to have to watch someone else going through a time this hard.

I always end every phone call and every goodbye with the simple words that I hope convey that I really mean more then a simple I love you.  Our children, our husbands, we don't simply love them, we cherish their lives and are thankful that they are the most important thing in our lives.  Not a day goes by without them being in our thoughts, they own a piece of our hearts.  I'm so very sorry about the suffering your friends family is going through, you are a brave and loving friend to continue to be there for him.  Bless your heart for caring so very much.

Offline Pooh

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2010, 07:04:37 AM »
What a rough time you have had lately Erma.  You are a very good person to be there for your friend during what has to be the most horrible time of his life.  I also always end my conversations with family with "I Love You."  Even my ODS that I have only spoken to a few times the last year always gets it.  I am a firm believer in letting people know you care about them.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Nana

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2010, 11:51:41 AM »
Yes..,.I agree.  Telling people you love them should be when they are alive.  Not so much saying I love you when they are gone. 

My husband loves me very much (so I think) but he is not very much into the I love you.  When I ask him why he doesnt tell me he loves me he tells me that he doesnt need to say it, that I aready know by his actions and the way he cares for me.   I do not agree with this.  Human beings are soo much in need of hearing this magical words. 

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

LaurieS

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2010, 10:15:48 PM »
Oh Nana... next time you prepare a meal for him, just sit down and start eating .. When he ask why you didn't tell him it was ready, simply repeat that you really didn't  need to call him that he knew by your actions that you were fixing him dinner and that it was completed. 

I always tell my dh that communication is everything and I'm not into mind reading.

Offline Nana

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2010, 11:52:10 PM »
Yes Laurie I will tell him so.  I will also assume that many other things...lets see if he likes it lol.  You see, he is kind of a macho man.  He tells my our children he loves them though...... I really dont care too much now, but there was a time I did.  The most he had said to me is that I should take care of myself because he doesnt know what we would do without me.   It was a wow!  I felt awesome.  He hugs me a lot too.  Just the words dont come out....   

Love



Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Offline Pooh

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2010, 05:48:28 AM »
Come up with a code word Nana and see if he will use that!  My hubby does not have an issue telling me but we use the code word VELCRO....Lol.  Has a special meaning to us.  Besides, it works double.  If we lose each other in a store, you yell VELCRO!  Works wonders.  Macho guys sometimes are embarrassed over those 3 words, so tell him tonight that you really need him to say it, so your compromise will be he can just say "XXXXXX" and then you know what he is saying.  Let him pick a macho word like hammer, oil can, Glock.  Hee hee. ;D

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2010, 06:28:48 AM »
My dh use to always say "I Love You More Then A Pig Loves Garbage"  maybe the silent love you's would be better.

Offline Pooh

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2010, 06:58:37 AM »
Ha ha.  I am now in the process of trying to convince my hubby that calling my hiney "The Dumper" is not flattering....
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline Pen

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2010, 10:19:34 AM »
My DH is of the "less is more" school regarding voicing endearments as well, but when he does it really means something. When he buys me a chain saw for Mother's Day (or a wheelbarrow) I say "thank you, honey, I love it" and then go to the spa or the mall, LOL. If I sit around and wait for him to fawn all over me or buy me jewelry, I'll sit here forever.

But he always, ALWAYS, kisses me on his way out the door in the morning, no matter what.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Offline Nana

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2010, 11:44:31 AM »
Hi Pooh

Great Idea...I will speak to him tonight.  If I tell him I love him....he says...me too.
If I ask him if he loves me, he asks "why do you ask"..or  "You know I do".   I come from a very loving family....we all were huggers and kissers.  We would kiss our parents good night and good morning....all my cousins, aunts and uncles were huggers and kissers too.  But his family even though great, they do not express their feelings .... so I know where my husband comes from.

Getting ready for Christmas....have to go shopping to finish with this ordeal.....missing some presents. 

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

erma

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2010, 08:37:02 PM »
thanks Anna
ya it was hard to lose both nana's and my bff lost his son the same week. it was pretty rough. still is.  it just hurts my heart to see him in such pain. the child was just a dear. we all loved him very much. nana's were expected, but still sad, but 16?? he had heart failure, no one knew. just collapsed, and never woke up. just heart breaking.  my  bff is just gone...........when i go to see him, i look in his eyes and i cant describe to you the pain i see.
im sorry, just rambling......it just really is so unfair!  but thanks Anna........
hugs to you as well.................

cadagi101

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2010, 01:59:36 AM »
3 simple words, I feel like phoning those who I love and saying it, my dd just drove of to town on her  learners 56k's.   If I could contact her on her mobile I would phone her but no mobile service.     Yep we can forget.  Thankyou all for your posts, and erma you are in all our thoughts at this terrible time.

erma

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2010, 08:02:15 AM »
thank you ladies! all of you. went to see my bff yesterday, he was still in bed. hadn't eaten in 2 days. got him up, made him eat, and we just were. i was just there, like a fly on the wall. sometimes we just need to sit quietly, and be. he has 2 other children he must go on for. they are older, but still need him. they are going through alot too, they all lost their mother suddenly just 5 yrs ago. this family has been through hell. now this? just not fair. i know, life's not fair.
ok im rambling, i am thankful for you all! letting me express my pain for the moment!
ok, on with the day....................

Offline Nana

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Re: remember to always end with "i love you"
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2010, 11:02:38 AM »
Erma

May you friend find confort and peace in you. 
God Bless you All

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare