Author Topic: Morning humor  (Read 1147 times)

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Offline Pooh

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Morning humor
« on: October 28, 2010, 05:08:43 AM »
In case you didn't know...

Women are Angels


 

And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly...


 


On a broomstick....


 

We are flexible like that.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

cremebrulee

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2010, 05:22:47 AM »
whoooo hoooo, look, I'm a witch....and proud of it....LOL
excuse me, while I go find my broom
gotta live up to my name....LOL

thanks for the smiles


LaurieS

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2010, 06:53:17 AM »
Sent to me today:

  HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER                                               
                                                                           
  Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the                     
  course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but                     
  notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was.                     
  Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic                     
  relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had                     
  only made her more curious.                                               
                                                                           
  Over the course of the evening, while watching the two                   
  interact, she started to wonder if there was more between                 
  Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.                                     
                                                                           
  Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know                   
  what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and                 
  I are just roommates.'                                                   
                                                                           
  About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying,                       
  'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been                         
  unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You                     
  don't suppose she took it, do you?'                                       
                                                                           
  Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail               
  just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote:                               
                                                                           
  __________________________________________________________               
  Dear Mom,                                                                 
                                                                           
  I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle                       
  from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not'                         
  take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that                           
  one has been missing ever since you were                                 
  here for dinner.                                                         
                                                                           
  Love, Brian                                                               
  __________________________________________________________               
                                                                           
  Several days later, Brian received an email back                         
  from his mother that read:                                               
  ____________________________________________________                     
  Dear Son,                                                                 
                                                                           
  I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer,                         
  I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer.                     
  But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in                     
  her own bed, she would have found the gravy                               
  ladle by now.                                                             
                                                                           
  Love, Mom                                                                 
                                                                           
  LESSON OF THE DAY -                                                       
  NEVER LIE TO                                                             
  YOUR MOTHER                                                               
                                   

LaurieS

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2010, 08:12:09 AM »
Here is one my girlfriend just sent:

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house.  She rang the doorbell and walked in.  She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.  Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room.  "What are you doing?" she asked.  "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.  "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.  "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.  "Love dress?  But you're naked!"  " My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained.  "It excites him to no end.  Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.  He can't get enough of me."  The mother-in-law left.  When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.  Finally, her husband came home.  He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.  "What are you doing?" he asked.  "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.  "Needs ironing," he said.

Orly

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2010, 10:15:55 AM »
On a broomstick....

My puppy chewed mine up...:(.... no flight time for me until I get to Wally World for a new one.

Offline Pooh

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2010, 10:41:53 AM »
Oh those are priceless Laurie!

Hmmmm Orly, wonder if you could substitute the vacuum cleaner?
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Morning humor
« Reply #6 on: November 03, 2010, 10:43:51 AM »
Reminds me of a license plate holder saying I just read. (Someday I am going to rear-end somebody trying to get close enough to read them!)

Picture this big SUV...and it said at the top: "I am 49% sweetheart" but at the bottom it said: "And 51% witch, so back off!"  ;D

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher