Author Topic: You and Me  (Read 1209 times)

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Offline luise.volta

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You and Me
« on: October 25, 2010, 12:30:26 PM »
I just want to say here that I have attempted to create a "You and Me" Web-forum. Once, last spring, when I collapsed after eleven years of care giving and was unable to monitor our site, criticism started between some of the MILs and the DILs and it quickly escalated into a "You or Me" site. It wasn't easy to get our balance back but we made it.

Since then I have been very careful to openly support the mutual respect that we continuously show each other. We don't have to agree but we also don't have to criticize and take up sides. If we find a particular poster(s) to not be our cup of tea we can skip over her comments. If we find a faction we feel uncomfortable with, this site may not be a fit. There are lots of sites to choose from and many that thrive on conflict.

If this forum leans in the MIL direction, which I don't feel it does any longer, it's because that's how it started out. It was www.MotherInLawsUnite.com for the first year. However, so many wonderful DILS joined us and made such an enormous contribution that I renamed it on our one year anniversary last May.

I know I am borrowing the phrase "Take What You Like And Leave The Rest" but that's what works best. My thanks to all of you that do that. Sending love...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

LaurieS

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2010, 12:57:53 PM »
Luise
Is it possible that as the holidays approach and family tensions began to escalate as well that this becomes reflected in the writings and approach as viewed on this site?  I know that some of the most balanced people and families feel the onslaught of anxiety during the holiday season.  There are so many families here that are worried about their family unit and all the Hallmark moments make us realize that we are falling short of the dream family. 

I see DIL's struggling to begin their own very personal holiday traditions.. I see MIL's who can not take the necessary step back and let their children live their lives the way they choose or wrongfully assuming that every difference is a form of disapproval.  But I also see a fear that seems to be growing as some families need to know that they are still loved and important in their children's lives.

I think the "you/me" balance that you are asking for at this site is reflective of the same balance that almost every person here is trying to achieve in their own lives.  All we can hope is that we get there with our dignity intact :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2010, 01:19:05 PM »
Yes, we are entering the twilight zone, holiday-wise. All of us are probably affected one way or another. This is a great place to vent and a safe place to disagree. We just need to stay supportive of each other and remember that we are all on the same side.

The holidays start for me on October 19th which is the birthday of the son I lost ten years ago. And then I get into wanting and yearning for Peace on Earth Good Will to (Wo)men." Some of us don't have the raw materials to make it come true and Norman Rockwell forever remains a dream.

I suppose the greatest gift is always the gift of kindness. Sending love...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

MLW07

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2010, 10:20:35 AM »
I know the holidays, my pregnancy hormones, and restarting a relationship with my in-laws, worrying about money, etc...have me extra sensitive right now.  :)

Offline luise.volta

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2010, 10:26:59 AM »
Wow! that's quite a loaded combination! Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

LaurieS

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2010, 10:29:47 AM »
I know the holidays, my pregnancy hormones, and restarting a relationship with my in-laws, worrying about money, etc...have me extra sensitive right now.  :)
When is your baby due? 
The  holidays have always added a certain amount of stress but now with the stores almost declaring that the holidays begin in September it seems to add even more. 

MLW07

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2010, 12:28:23 PM »
I know the holidays, my pregnancy hormones, and restarting a relationship with my in-laws, worrying about money, etc...have me extra sensitive right now.  :)
When is your baby due? 
The  holidays have always added a certain amount of stress but now with the stores almost declaring that the holidays begin in September it seems to add even more.

Laurie,

My baby is due April 18th.  We are very excited and scared at the same time.  Oh what a new adventure!

LaurieS

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Re: You and Me
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2010, 01:26:04 PM »
You think the new baby will be challenging.. just wait until you are crowned MIL :)

April is a nice time, not yet hot so you won't be totally miserable.  I hope that you and your DIL's can get things on an even keel because you should be able to cherish each day of your pregnancy.