Author Topic: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations  (Read 1946 times)

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Offline luise.volta

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References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« on: October 20, 2010, 10:14:38 AM »
I have been criticized via Personal Message for referring a member who wrote about suicidal thoughts to a crisis professional. I just want you all to know that I would rather ere on the side of caution than wish I had. I didn't close the membership, just the post. Most of us, certainly I am one, don't have the training to deal with life and death issues.

I know it is autocratic, but this is my site and it costs a bundle to create and maintain. (All of which is donated by my son and webmaster who is incredibly busy and usually charges $250. an hour.)  It can't possibly suit everyone. That's never been my goal. If my policies work for you, that's great. If they don't, other sites may be more suitable.

I also just canceled a membership where the person has a very negative reputation on many other sites. She starts out sounding wonderful... then she hunts down members on Facebook, copies their posts and sends them to other family members.

You might be relieved to know that some of us who monitor Web-forums keep in touch for your protection.

My point is that what you get here is my best. It is far from perfect but it's all I have to give.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

barelythere

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2010, 10:22:51 AM »
I have been criticized via Personal Message for referring a member who wrote about suicidal thoughts to a crisis professional. I just want you all to know that I would rather ere on the side of caution than wish I had. I didn't close the membership, just the post. Most of us, certainly I am one, don't have the training to deal with life and death issues.

I know it is autocratic, but this is my site and it costs a bundle to create and maintain. (All of which is donated by my son and webmaster who is incredibly busy and usually charges $250. an hour.)  It can't possibly suit everyone. That's never been my goal. If my policies work for you, that's great. If they don't, other sites may be more suitable.

I also just canceled a membership where the person has a very negative reputation on many other sites. She starts out sounding wonderful... then she hunts down members on Facebook, copies their posts and sends them to other family members.

You might be relieved to know that some of us who monitor Web-forums keep in touch for your protection.

My point is that what you get here is my best. It is far from perfect but it's all I have to give.

OMG!  How in the world would this person know what another person's name really is?  Just wondering.....

You are so right, we are not professionals on here!  I applaud your decision, Luise.

cremebrulee

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2010, 10:43:59 AM »
I have been criticized via Personal Message for referring a member who wrote about suicidal thoughts to a crisis professional. I just want you all to know that I would rather ere on the side of caution than wish I had. I didn't close the membership, just the post. Most of us, certainly I am one, don't have the training to deal with life and death issues.

I know it is autocratic, but this is my site and it costs a bundle to create and maintain. (All of which is donated by my son and webmaster who is incredibly busy and usually charges $250. an hour.)  It can't possibly suit everyone. That's never been my goal. If my policies work for you, that's great. If they don't, other sites may be more suitable.

I also just canceled a membership where the person has a very negative reputation on many other sites. She starts out sounding wonderful... then she hunts down members on Facebook, copies their posts and sends them to other family members.

You might be relieved to know that some of us who monitor Web-forums keep in touch for your protection.

My point is that what you get here is my best. It is far from perfect but it's all I have to give.

Luise, I think you have been more then fair and patient, not to mention giving.

Suicide threats are nothing to take lightly, and not even the professionals are prepared to deal with it sometimes....I don't blame you in the least.....

Personally, you go beyond your best....I've been in many other forums and this is the best....

Thank you for what you do....and I know it must be difficult for you sometimes....however, please know we're very appreciative for you....and Kirk.

thank you
Creme


Offline luise.volta

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2010, 11:11:09 AM »
I appreciate the votes of confidence! Thank you! Monitoring a forum can be a sticky wicket.
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

free_at_last

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2010, 11:26:30 AM »
Thanks for all you do, Luise....you do a wonderful job maintaining this site and handling all the issues that come up!

erma

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2010, 11:31:39 AM »
yea Luise!! always ere on the side of caution!  always!!!  and i do feel relieved knowing this and other web forums are being monitored. being as old as i am, and not as computer savvy as most, thank you Luise!!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2010, 03:08:52 PM »
Thanks. A certain "flavor" has developed here. We don't try to handle what is beyond us but/and we are committed to supporting each other in the areas we are familiar with...(even when we wish we weren't.)

There are forums that aren't monitored as I understand it but I want to keep mine within the parameters I have outlined in the upper right corner of the Home Page and in the Agreement. We may not always see the consideration and decency "out there" that we would like but we can practice it here.

I love each and every one of you and am so grateful that you are willing the share and care the way you do..
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

cadagi101

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2010, 01:03:52 AM »
I appreciate you and thank you very much for all you do

kathleen

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2010, 07:21:32 AM »
Luise,

For a time I worked in a suicide prevention center.  I had serious training in phone work with suicidal callers.  I then wrote my master's thesis partly on the organization.

You are 150% correct and more in what you said to the correspondent.  Threats should always be taken very seriously.  You are remiss if you do not take it seriously.  I thought your reply to her, which I read, was fair, wise, and full of concern for her.  I thought she was lucky to receive such concern from someone I assume she has not even met.  Hopefully, she will take your advice. 

I also appreciate the courtesy on this forum.  At times I have felt criticized and it has been uncomfortable, but for the most part, correspondents seem to care deeply about each other and about the manner in which they conduct  dialogue.  That is quite an accomplishment, bringing together so many strangers in this compassionate way.

I can't commend you highly enough for your management of the suicide threat. I believe any professional who has worked with this issue would say the same to you.  Thank you.

Kathleen




Offline elsieshaye

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2010, 09:18:22 AM »
As a group, we seem to try to take responsibility for each other's experience here and really try to forge a connection.  There are some situations that far exceed our ability to handle, no matter how loving and giving we want to be, and suicidal thoughts/threats fall squarely in that category.  Thank you for looking out for the people who come here, Luise.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2010, 09:32:22 AM »
Bless your hearts, thank you again!
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher

Offline Pen

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2010, 10:05:01 AM »
Yes, thank you, Luise. I think your policy is good for all involved.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Orly

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2010, 01:47:01 PM »
"Thumbs up " from me.   I thought you handled it correctly and with compassion.

Offline Barbie

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2010, 02:11:19 PM »
Louise, you do a wonderful job and you are a wonderful person.
Thank you.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: References To Suicide and Membership Cancelations
« Reply #14 on: October 21, 2010, 02:17:12 PM »
It's great to get a vote of confidence. It really helps when I get out there on thin ice! Sending love...
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." -- Mary Ann Radmacher