Fat MIL

[luise.volta]

Love from one weed to another! 

[MotherOf3]

There is a lot of discrimination against fat people, personally and professionally.  We live in a culture where only the beautiful and thin are admired, like that makes them better people.  People don't seem to admire integrity, honesty, loyalty, or kindness. I'm overweight, not excessively so at a size 14/16, and I see it myself.  Something that struck me recently was about vegetarians.  I don't want to generalize a whole segment of society but I read a lot of message boards about it and they profess to respect ALL life... but then they trash carnivores, stupid things carnivores say, disgusting things carnivores eat, etc.   I became vegetarian about a month ago for health reasons, not ethical reasons, so I don't share those views.

Fat people are the last acceptable group to discriminate against.  No one stands up for them.  I heard on the radio just this morning that a study found that the less a woman weighs, the more she earns.  A woman who is 25 lbs below her ideal weight earns $15k more per year than the average weight woman.  A woman who is 25 lbs above her ideal weight earns $13k less per year than an average woman.

I guess not surprisingly, it is the opposite for men.  A man that is underweight earns $8k less than an average man.

[Pen]

Good post, Mof3. I agree.

[cremebrulee]

There is a lot of discrimination against fat people, personally and professionally.  We live in a culture where only the beautiful and thin are admired, like that makes them better people.  People don't seem to admire integrity, honesty, loyalty, or kindness. I'm overweight, not excessively so at a size 14/16, and I see it myself.  Something that struck me recently was about vegetarians.  I don't want to generalize a whole segment of society but I read a lot of message boards about it and they profess to respect ALL life... but then they trash carnivores, stupid things carnivores say, disgusting things carnivores eat, etc.   I became vegetarian about a month ago for health reasons, not ethical reasons, so I don't share those views.

Fat people are the last acceptable group to discriminate against.  No one stands up for them.  I heard on the radio just this morning that a study found that the less a woman weighs, the more she earns.  A woman who is 25 lbs below her ideal weight earns $15k more per year than the average weight woman.  A woman who is 25 lbs above her ideal weight earns $13k less per year than an average woman.

I guess not surprisingly, it is the opposite for men.  A man that is underweight earns $8k less than an average man.

it's the very same with smokers, first the liberals went after smokers, and they used horrendous fear tactics..."studies show", sheeesh....there are tons of people, and I mean tons of people, in cancer rehab, who never smoked a day in they're lives, one of them was a very good friend of mine and no one in her family smoked...however, they went after smokers and many predicted, when they were done with that, and banned smoking all over the place, they would go after fat people and they have....and I detest anyone, who speaks so hatefully against another human being....I know someone, who used to always say, "I HATE FAT PEOPLE"....and finally one day, I looked at her and said, "I HATE YOU"!  And left it at that, later she asked, "do you really hate me?"  I replied...."how does it feel?"

I hate smokers..., my girlfriend always says, those who speak those kind of words, don't like themselves to judge a person like that....

It's very sad, how intellectually we are so stagnated.

[MotherOf3]

Oh, how I know that about smokers too.  I quit smoking one year ago in August and I did it partly using electronic cigarettes.  There are boards about that too, e-cigs.  The thing that really tells on rabid non-smokers is that these groups were falling all over themselves to try and ban e-cigs!  It isn't tobacco, it isn't burning, it isn't smoke... it's water vapor with  nicotine.  These groups just really couldn't stand that smokers have a way to "smoke" that is socially acceptable, that doesn't have second-hand anything to affect anyone else.  This just floors me!  It isn't about "smoking", it's making someone else conform to what THEY think they should!

You'd think that they would embrace it, encourage it, for people to stop an unhealthy habit but no.  It's about pushing their opinions on other people and using laws that are couched in health to do it.  Just like they will with fat people.  Just like "compassionate" vegetarians would like to ban eating meat.

Reminds me of something that a friend's little girl said.  They were driving and there was a person smoking in another car.  The little girl said, "We hate people who smoke!"  The mother was shocked and said that was wrong!  We don't hate people for smoking though we don't want to do it ourselves.  That girl didn't learn this at home, she learned to hate a group of people from school and society.  How easy it is to apply the hate to any other group you could think of, fat, old, black, white.

[cremebrulee]

Oh, how I know that about smokers too.  I quit smoking one year ago in August and I did it partly using electronic cigarettes.  There are boards about that too, e-cigs.  The thing that really tells on rabid non-smokers is that these groups were falling all over themselves to try and ban e-cigs!  It isn't tobacco, it isn't burning, it isn't smoke... it's water vapor with  nicotine.  These groups just really couldn't stand that smokers have a way to "smoke" that is socially acceptable, that doesn't have second-hand anything to affect anyone else.  This just floors me!  It isn't about "smoking", it's making someone else conform to what THEY think they should!

You'd think that they would embrace it, encourage it, for people to stop an unhealthy habit but no.  It's about pushing their opinions on other people and using laws that are couched in health to do it.  Just like they will with fat people.  Just like "compassionate" vegetarians would like to ban eating meat.

Reminds me of something that a friend's little girl said.  They were driving and there was a person smoking in another car.  The little girl said, "We hate people who smoke!"  The mother was shocked and said that was wrong!  We don't hate people for smoking though we don't want to do it ourselves.  That girl didn't learn this at home, she learned to hate a group of people from school and society.  How easy it is to apply the hate to any other group you could think of, fat, old, black, white.

it's all about control...they have very little control over things in they're lives, so they try and tell others how to live they're lives....
they also are obsessed with whatever it is they are doing...for instance, I know a few people at work, who are so into being thin....they don't look right....they are to thin, and they are constantly talking about they're work outs, they're running...etc...it's all about moderation....but they become obsessed....and I do believe it's b/c they have very little control over they're lives, so they do this....and one girl inparticular, she's absolutely gorgeous, but way to thin, several people have said she looks anerexic....all she talks about is work outs and running...it's her whole life....she has nothing else that is important to her I suppose?  but yeah...totally agree with you....and have you noticed, these same people cannot admit they are wrong, and will become infuriated if you insinuate that they are....it's like they have no room to play, or are not able to color outside the lines?? 

[kathleen]

Guess what, MIL's, Ali McGraw was on Oprah yesterday and she is 71, with layers of wrinkles and a roadmap face of lines, and she has gained a lot of weight!!!!

Cybil Shepard was on a few weeks ago, and guess what, MIL's, she has GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT---and admitted it!  And talked about how oppressive the beauty myth was to her when she was young and living in fear of losing her beauty.  She figured she had to 28 years and it was over, and now she is starting a new TV series.  (how old is she?  65?)  Yea yea Cybil!!!

And neither wants plastic surgery and "duck lips" and all that involves. 

Barbara Cartland, that British romance novelist, said there comes a point in life when you have to choose between your figure and your face.  It can't come soon enough for the DIL who discriminates against a "fat" mother-in-law.  Some people have to experience what others go through to have any empathy.

One of those endless PBS gurus recently said he knew of studies that show that fat people have fewer brain cells.  At least they have some brain cells, whereas he appeared to have none.

My grandmother was overweight and lived to 93.  Many of my female relatives were the same.  This thing of weight is so horrible, particularly as we get older and cannot help putting it on even tho we do not eat badly or binge or any of that stuff.   Two weeks ago I went to the ear doctor and they weighed me.  Last spring I went for a rash, and they weighed me.  And then they wonder why we have eating disorders.  All the fat/thin stuff is caused by a) the media making anorexia fashionable--t'was ever thus, remember Twiggy? and b) the medical profession constantly harping on it and making weight the primary factor in health.  It isn't, according to my endocrinologist, the one doctor in my life who doesn't do the weight-terrorist thing when I see him for my mild thyroid condition.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how much weight I've put on in my ears.  Are there ear calisthenics you can do to lose weight in your ears, does anyone know?  I am sure I need them.  I have to lose at least ten pounds in my ears before I see my ear doctor again, otherwise, he may label me uncooperative and refuse to treat me.

Kathleen

[cremebrulee]

Guess what, MIL's, Ali McGraw was on Oprah yesterday and she is 71, with layers of wrinkles and a roadmap face of lines, and she has gained a lot of weight!!!!

Cybil Shepard was on a few weeks ago, and guess what, MIL's, she has GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT---and admitted it!  And talked about how oppressive the beauty myth was to her when she was young and living in fear of losing her beauty.  She figured she had to 28 years and it was over, and now she is starting a new TV series.  (how old is she?  65?)  Yea yea Cybil!!!

And neither wants plastic surgery and "duck lips" and all that involves. 

Barbara Cartland, that British romance novelist, said there comes a point in life when you have to choose between your figure and your face.  It can't come soon enough for the DIL who discriminates against a "fat" mother-in-law.  Some people have to experience what others go through to have any empathy.

One of those endless PBS gurus recently said he knew of studies that show that fat people have fewer brain cells.  At least they have some brain cells, whereas he appeared to have none.

My grandmother was overweight and lived to 93.  Many of my female relatives were the same.  This thing of weight is so horrible, particularly as we get older and cannot help putting it on even tho we do not eat badly or binge or any of that stuff.   Two weeks ago I went to the ear doctor and they weighed me.  Last spring I went for a rash, and they weighed me.  And then they wonder why we have eating disorders.  All the fat/thin stuff is caused by a) the media making anorexia fashionable--t'was ever thus, remember Twiggy? and b) the medical profession constantly harping on it and making weight the primary factor in health.  It isn't, according to my endocrinologist, the one doctor in my life who doesn't do the weight-terrorist thing when I see him for my mild thyroid condition.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly how much weight I've put on in my ears.  Are there ear calisthenics you can do to lose weight in your ears, does anyone know?  I am sure I need them.  I have to lose at least ten pounds in my ears before I see my ear doctor again, otherwise, he may label me uncooperative and refuse to treat me.

Kathleen

I saw a bit of the show yesterday with Ali and Ryan.....and yes, they do have wrinkles....I saw a news clip that Angelina Jolie talked Brad into getting some plastic surgery done??  Why??  Doesn't make sense to me, is that vanity?  Fear of getting old?  Who the heck cares...it's whats inside that counts...

Although, gotta be honest....I'd take Brad in a heartbeat, wrinkles and all...he's a hottie....LOL, thought he was great in "Meet Joe Black" opposite Anthony Hopkins...what a great movie!

[luise.volta]

I'm an accordion....my closet goes from size 6 to size 20 and my weight goes from 135 to 205. Today, I'm at 170 and size 14. I'm 5' 2"....no place to hide anything. My body just feels better when I'm smaller and I get less tired.

I just lost 25 pounds and was surprised to find out that the water bottles that I use for my dispenser weigh the same... and...I can hardly lift them! Very graphic for me to notice that!.

[luise.volta]

  We must be The Bobbsey Twins on the Internet! 

[Annie123]

I'm late coming into this talk.. But wanted to comment how wonderful each of you women sound! I'd be proud to know any of you!
I am not a big lady. Never been a twig either. But what is on the inside does and should matter most. I've met many people in my lifetime who were just so pretty until they opened their mouths.
My Father used to tell me and all my brothers and sisters we were weeds in this world. Then he would tell us what he meant by that. He would say that we were brought up strong to face the good and bad of the world. Not protected from what is really there. So just like a weed we would live through good times and bad times without rolling up to die! Where a pretty perfect flower in a Hot House.. Well you open the door on one cold day and they are DEAD! That is the same with the worlds perfect spoiled people. One thing goes wrong in their lives and they are weak and die.. I'm proud to be a weed!! And I am proud that my parents raised me that way. God Bless

[luise.volta]

Welcome Annie 123...from one weed to another! 

[barelythere]

Oh, how I know that about smokers too.  I quit smoking one year ago in August and I did it partly using electronic cigarettes.  There are boards about that too, e-cigs.  The thing that really tells on rabid non-smokers is that these groups were falling all over themselves to try and ban e-cigs!  It isn't tobacco, it isn't burning, it isn't smoke... it's water vapor with  nicotine.  These groups just really couldn't stand that smokers have a way to "smoke" that is socially acceptable, that doesn't have second-hand anything to affect anyone else.  This just floors me!  It isn't about "smoking", it's making someone else conform to what THEY think they should!

You'd think that they would embrace it, encourage it, for people to stop an unhealthy habit but no.  It's about pushing their opinions on other people and using laws that are couched in health to do it.  Just like they will with fat people.  Just like "compassionate" vegetarians would like to ban eating meat.

Reminds me of something that a friend's little girl said.  They were driving and there was a person smoking in another car.  The little girl said, "We hate people who smoke!"  The mother was shocked and said that was wrong!  We don't hate people for smoking though we don't want to do it ourselves.  That girl didn't learn this at home, she learned to hate a group of people from school and society.  How easy it is to apply the hate to any other group you could think of, fat, old, black, white.

Such a great post, Mother of 3.  I have been dealing with the smoking thing for years.  So ashamed of myself and thought no one knew.  I would wash everything before going out and spay myself with anything to take the smoke smell off.  Course the DILs were appalled but I never smoked in front of anyone, ever.  They told our son that it could seep out the walls in the house, which I guess it could.    I quit too with electronic Cigarettes, the best things in the world!!  You watch, they will ban them.  Why, oh why don't the PC police go after child molestors? 

[Annie123]

Welcome Annie 123...from one weed to another! 

Thank you Luise, I'm very happy to find your site! I see you have some WONDERFUL ladies on here!

[cremebrulee]

I'm late coming into this talk.. But wanted to comment how wonderful each of you women sound! I'd be proud to know any of you!
I am not a big lady. Never been a twig either. But what is on the inside does and should matter most. I've met many people in my lifetime who were just so pretty until they opened their mouths.
My Father used to tell me and all my brothers and sisters we were weeds in this world. Then he would tell us what he meant by that. He would say that we were brought up strong to face the good and bad of the world. Not protected from what is really there. So just like a weed we would live through good times and bad times without rolling up to die! Where a pretty perfect flower in a Hot House.. Well you open the door on one cold day and they are DEAD! That is the same with the worlds perfect spoiled people. One thing goes wrong in their lives and they are weak and die.. I'm proud to be a weed!! And I am proud that my parents raised me that way. God Bless

Your Father was a very wise man, enjoyed reading this post....
Welcome and thank you for joining us....

I'm very blessed to, that I've experienced both the very hard times in life and the wonderful times....which bought me to today....

I don't care who likes me and who doesn't....honestly, it's ok....it's choice and we can't all be best friends or good fits, b/c we don't all have the same things in common....

I used to be crushed if someone didn't like me, let alone if someone didn't agree with me....I look back now and remember how upset I'd get if somone gave me advice that I had never thought of before...OMG, I thought they were telling me I was no good, or that I was stupid, or wrong....when they were only trying to get me to see, there are other ways of viewing things (perspectives) and there is no wrong or right way...

it's all about selections and so many different choices we do have....one day a teacher told me, "try this, it might not be a better way of doing it, but it might make it easier for you to accomplish it quicker"....and she winked at me....LOL

Life is incredibly fantastic, when you have so many people who care to share they're perspectives and insights with you, when you accept them and try them, it opens up more doors and gives one more choices....being open minded to the ways others do things, is merely a help and broadens options...develops awareness....acceptance and surely helps get thru times that might have been really bad, but now, are not nearly so serious...

I'm appreciative for the life I had, without it, I wouldn't be where I am today...adn the hard times prepared me for what is to come next.

I used to get so upset and anxious about situations which were out of my control, and now, I coped the attitude, no matter how bad it is, there is always something from this that I'm supposed to learn, and this to shall work out in the end...

Pretty thicked skinned and realize, it's due to all those hard times....and am so thankful for the wonders of life.

disliking someone for the way they think and feel, or for they're personal habits speaks volumns about what kind of person someone is, doesn't it....?  I mean, yeah, some people are extremely toxic, but even then, compassion goes a lot further then anger and hate.  It's not always about disliking someone, but disliking they're attitudes.  I know most every MIL/DIL here would forgive and forget immediately if they knew they could live a peaceful life with they're inlaws....and I think it's all about managing emotions and actions, and reactions to situations...to relearn so to speak....

Annie123, really enjoyed your post....thank you
your a woman after my own heart....I've wondered for years, why our country ignores child molesters....a child molester changes a child's life for the rest of they're lives....and yet, they reward them.  They should put them away somewhere all together and let them all molest each other....I just have such a hard time with this subject....wondering why they are left to molest again and again...do you know, that one child molester may have touched 50 kids?  I don't get it?