When I was young, I remember my mother's friends were all talking about "my son, the doctor", "my son the something or another". I remember thinking that these women didn't do anything but live through their children. That was so far back that some of the husbands wouldn't allow their wives to work
I did my best to provide a better life for my son after being a single parent when he was four, but as the years went by I made sure that I got to do the things I wanted to do. He may have thought that I was being neglectful, but now that I'm much older and not anywhere near as healthy as I was, I'm happy that I did what I wanted to do for me and didn't wind up as as "My son the something or other" mother.
He will make his choices and decide what he wants to do and when he's much older he'll look back and realize that everything is always a series of difficult choices, sending the energy in the direction in wants to go. I think of those large and intricate domino patters where you tip one domino and then they run in all different directions, sometimes one little turn making the difference as to where the rest of the dominoes will fall. I think life is an endless stream of decisions that turn the dominoes into falling in one spot or in another direction.
I think that the computers and the pecking and texting (which I refuse to do) are a real barrier to keeping in touch with people. I'm sorry your sons weren't there to give you a shoulder to lean on. My son did that for me, many times and it was always a comfort. Even though we aren't in touch anymore, there were times when I was severely ill and in one instance when I was so ill that I couldn't speak, he came and sat beside me every day for 10 minutes. He was about 14 then so it must have been hard for him to see his mother so ill and worry about the real possibility of me not living to see another day. I was making it through ever 24 hours at a time, and that was the only way to go. I made it through that crisis but I will always remember the comfort that my son came to see me even through I was too ill to speak.
I'm sorry that your sons didn't come to comfort you. My only suggestion is to "turn". Always turn away from pain or anything that others might do or didn't do that disappoints you. Turn "towards" whatever and whoever make you happy or cheer you up or give you a shoulder to lean on when you are ill or are going through some kind of surgical procedure. Go toward the light, and leave the darkness behind.