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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: she had the baby
« Last post by dogmusic on May 23, 2015, 05:18:53 PM »
I suppose she went home today from the hospital. I made her a baby blanket at Christmas time but I never heard a thank you. I would have loved to go out and buy little girl outfits. Oh well... I texted my AS to say I knew that the baby had arrived and he never texted me back. I don't know what is going on with him now. He probably hates me too. I don't think anything makes sense anymore. Do AC really have babies and never speak to their parents about it? I mean is that even normal? Meanwhile I am just sick and my DH is sleeping in the chair. He says he's not going to let AD's behavior ruin another weekend. I am so confused..... I know he is really upset but he puts it in a compartment to go on with things. I just can't do that. I feel like I am going crazy. I can't spend the whole weekend crying.
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: she had the baby
« Last post by luise.volta on May 22, 2015, 11:30:17 AM »
Of course it's a downer day. And...it is healthy and honest to experience the truth of that, no matter how painful.
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: she had the baby
« Last post by dogmusic on May 22, 2015, 11:11:25 AM »
Thank you so much luise. I am so sad. This is one of the downer days.
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: she had the baby
« Last post by luise.volta on May 22, 2015, 11:02:18 AM »
Oh, honey...there is sometimes no understanding what doesn't make sense. I know it must be beyond your comprehension. It sure was beyond mine. When my first grandchild was born, he was kept 'safely' from me because 'my bad vibes could harm him.' Huh? What I did was turn toward what did make sense. I deserve a joyful and happy life, not one of punishment for imagined deeds of malice. And I have found peace and fulfillment there. Sending hugs...
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / she had the baby
« Last post by dogmusic on May 22, 2015, 10:53:20 AM »
Well I learned through a sibling that my AD had her baby. I was pretty upset that I haven't been a part of anything. I cried for a bit then I texted her congratulations hope all is well. Heard nothing back of course. She just hates me. I was so good to her but she doesn't see it that way. Anyway, I'm afraid I pulled out the vodka. Don't worry. One toddy and I'm shot. I thought I was taking the higher road by acknowledging the birth. Better than completely ignoring it right? I didn't really expect a response. It's all so sad. They used the MIL's name for the middle name. That's ok. They picked a nice name. I don't really like my name anyway. I know she will come home to visit, see her uncle and her brother and not see me. It's the worst thing she could do so I know that is what she will do. I don't understand where all the hate is coming from. Oh well. Maybe someday she will grow up.
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Mother's Day disaster
« Last post by Pooh on May 21, 2015, 12:59:15 PM »
I love that! I'm really up against it myself at the moment. Will post about it elsewhere but am writing that one down, Pooh! :-)

I posted it up on my wall at work to remind myself!  I'm going out of town for the next few days, but know that whatever you are up against, I'll be thinking of you!
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Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Ex-son-in-law problem
« Last post by Stilllearning on May 21, 2015, 08:27:53 AM »
I agree with the others but I am so glad there is a light at the end of the tunnel!  In 5 years you can kick the SIL out and let your GS stay and since he will legally be an adult there is nothing your SIL will be able to do.  Your job for now is to let your GS see that not all adults act the way his father does and that he has a choice about whether to be like him or not.  You are doing a great job under extremely difficult circumstances.  I could not do it.  I salute you!  Hang in there!  Your GC will benefit from it for the rest of his life!
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Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Ex-son-in-law problem
« Last post by Lillycache on May 21, 2015, 05:12:55 AM »
Glad you found us... and welcome!

I agree with the others... there is nothing you can do regarding the way your ex SIL is raising his child.. That is so long as there is no physical abuse..    I think the best thing you can do for your grandson is to talk with him, and let him know that you love him and that likely his father was raised this way and feels it is the right way..  You need to let your grandson know that you are always there for him to talk to.  Since you have him in your home, you will be able to be there for him as often as he needs you.   
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Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Ex-son-in-law problem
« Last post by luise.volta on May 20, 2015, 06:24:06 PM »
Welcome, B. I don't see any way you can intervene under the present circumstances. Your SIL has legal custody. He has the right to raise his son as he sees fit, as long as there is no physical abuse, as I understand it. You can't come between them without making it much worse. There are many children being raised the way you describe. Their parents feel it is the way to shape them into successful adults. What a heartbreaking situation. I agree that you need to look for a legal solution. However, it could possibly come with more issues, not less...it would put your grandson right in the middle of more conflict. The good I see in all of it is the role model you are and the loving and positive influence that is to be offering your grandson. Sending love to you both...
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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Mother's Day disaster
« Last post by luise.volta on May 20, 2015, 02:23:22 PM »
:D :D :D
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