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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: two wrong doings?
« Last post by Itsgoingtobeok on October 24, 2016, 12:49:30 PM »
Luise, you are so wise. It really is a web isn't it? A toxic one. I am shocked, i guess, that this family member thinks he's helping by being a confidant. He himself was in the same place once, he should know that he who blames others, takes no responsibility for ones self worth. I cant believe this person is falling for it. I am just disappointed in it all.
Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: two wrong doings?
« Last post by luise.volta on October 24, 2016, 08:26:07 AM »
For me at least, the peace I found at first was short-lived. I suppose that was because I had changed and others hadn't. The drama went on and the web around me took me down again...and more than once. I tried to make sense of the senseless and looked for logical solutions in pathological situations. I, too found dependable allies an inconsistent resource and faced loss after loss. I vented by writing to myself and worked off as much of the angst as I could by walking until I thought I'd drop. We all take different paths to find the way through and out. To find ourselves and let the rest go. No easy task, ever. We are with you, I. Hugs...

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: two wrong doings?
« Last post by Itsgoingtobeok on October 24, 2016, 08:07:46 AM »
Venting: Well here we go again.  I was informed by my another family member, my S is back on the drugs, even worse than before. He robbed someone and moved to a city on the west coast with his enabling GF. I am assuming they went to her mothers. My S called, in confidence confessed to this family member. I took that information and informed the GF's M that he was indeed on drugs and that i was concerned for her daughter. i informed my family member I had warned the GF's M. He then says this to me.  Why would you do that? He trusted ME! You should stop running your mouth, your ruining his life...ect...ect.

In my eyes, my S is an addict, and this family member should not be keeping his dirty little secret. My S could wind up dead, or hurt someone. Why would he want to keep his trust? My S lies about EVERYTHING!!!

So now this has put a wedge between myself and my closest family member.  I just got to a place where I was happy and content. It almost feels like my son does this to ensure I will never be happy....awwwwwwwwwwww

I am having trouble sleeping now, I have anxiety, I have been so busy renovating to keep my mind off of this I am hurting myself physically. Its hard to just put it to the back of my mind and forget about it. Any advise?
Welcome, M. We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Read Me First, to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website. Thanks.
New here, but wanted to comment (I have the narcissistic dil situation that is common on this board.) If someone doesn't want to share life together, they shouldn't get to share in the proceeds in death. Glad you feel empowered! Good for a you!
Grab Bag / Re: Storm in PNW
« Last post by luise.volta on October 16, 2016, 07:30:04 AM »
Thanks, P. We battened down the hatches here but it was just a storm. Where it ended up hitting hard was on the Pacific Coast. We are on the coast of Puget Sound...which is salt water...but inland. I'm on Elger Bay which is salt water off of Puget Sound but further inland. We're kind of tucked in behind Camamo Island which is tucked in behind Whidbey Island. Lots of buffer when weather blows in from the Pacific...not so good when in comes down from Alaska. The greatest danger, because our evergreens are so thick and over 100 ft. tall, is a flying branch if you are walking (they're huge) or a falling tree if you're driving. This morning all is the weather was saying, 'Awe, I was just kidding.'
Grab Bag / Storm in PNW
« Last post by Pen on October 15, 2016, 11:51:27 PM »
Hey Luise, thinking of you. Hope all is well with you and yours. On the news it looks pretty wild where you are. Stay safe!
Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Daughter going off the rails.
« Last post by Pen on October 04, 2016, 04:36:11 PM »
Yes!  ;D
V, welcome to the site! It's unreal how many of us have been through this sort of thing before. Please read our old posts and you'll see that you are not alone.

Although none of us have anything to be embarrassed about, I don't talk about my situation to others outside of this site and one or two very trusted friends. Unless you've experienced it yourself, it's hard to understand how this could happen to loving, normal parents.

As Luise says, you'll be chasing your tail if you try to figure out why. This site has helped me get through my self-blame, sorrow, anger, and resentment. Now I'm working on envy (still? sheesh!)

The upcoming holidays can trigger some monster pity-parties. Are we prepared?
Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Daughter going off the rails.
« Last post by Pooh on October 04, 2016, 06:27:49 AM »
Welcome.  Glad you found us but sorry you had to.  The lovely Ladies here have given you very wise advice.  Protecting our own sanity ends up being the end game for many of us here.  I made a conscious decision 3 years ago, to eliminate the drama my relationship with my Son was causing (it was DIL but Son sat back and did nothing, so both of them).  Since then, yes...I still wish it could be different but nothing has changed except I was able to move on in my own life and realize that I matter too.
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