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Messages - luise.volta

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Rethinking gift giving
« on: August 01, 2017, 08:30:44 AM »
How wise, Hollap. It took me forever, it seems now, to get that my job of teaching my sons was over when they left home and that as young adults their learnings would come from their choices and the consequences. Now, my 'baby' is 62 and he says I am still teaching him, as a role model, how to ace longevity!  :)  Looking back, I think my greatest task didn't involve my children, directly. It was to learn to love myself. Mothering taught me to put myself last in many instances and I had to unlearn that.

Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Bad Counseling
« on: July 31, 2017, 05:51:04 PM »
I learned the same lesson, SL. My eldest son went into counseling in high school and when I was called in I had the same experience. He had more counseling as a grown man. The second time around, I refused to go. Like so many here, I did my best. My own mother wasn't perfect, and when I was a young adult I sought counseling to better understand my issues with her. There is no perfect mother. It's a tough job and some of us were tough to raise. Just sayin'.

H., my guess is that we have pretty much offered you our best as we have related our experiences to your situation. There's a lot here for you to consider, digest and maybe even try. Sometimes too much information can bring overload and cloud the issue(s). If so, the next step may be one-on-one counseling. I agree that finding the right one sometimes isn't easy. With that in mind, I am going to close this thread before we start repeating ourselves. We are in your corner!

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Would this offend you?
« on: July 30, 2017, 03:07:42 PM »
My take is that you sound pretty level-headed. Rough call no matter how you look at it. I missed that this was child three. Gonna' have your hands full! Since I have a great-granddaughter who is 24, I don't recall much except the lack of sleep. More hugs...

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Would this offend you?
« on: July 30, 2017, 07:28:12 AM »
Thanks for the update. I have had problems with setting boundaries and even more when not setting them. You have that right and deserve 'adult status', it seems to me. Perhaps the hotel suggestion would still bring about long, unwanted visits. Even though it was eons ago, (my youngest son is 62!), I remember the needed adjustments and hectic fatigue after bringing home a new baby. When siblings are added, oh, my! I think I might set limits and just make it clear that this time it's your mother's turn, maybe even commenting on how gracious she was to be second, along with the suggestion that a visit later on 'when things settle down' would be welcome. Hugs...

M., I modified your post. Please remember the 'Take what you want and leave the rest' principal we support here. We don't refute the posts of others or debate their contributions or use capital letters to make a point. Time to reread and recommit to the Vision Statement on the upper left on the HomePage and the Forum Agreement in Read Me First. Thanks.

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Would this offend you?
« on: July 28, 2017, 05:12:04 PM »
Kjc04 are you still with us? If so, please check in and let us know how it's going, OK? Your first post was on June 5th. Your last post in which you thanked us was on June 6th. I really liked the suggestion you just got to give your MIL a little help of a similar variety in her home... :D

Grab Bag / Re: As usual, acceptance!
« on: July 28, 2017, 01:19:21 PM »
We are here to remind you of how lovable you are! :D 

Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws / Re: Would this offend you?
« on: July 28, 2017, 11:14:58 AM »
I don't do well with conflict resolution, K., so I can only suggest what I do. I journal and when strong feelings come up...I stop writing and express them unilaterally. I live alone, so there is no one to witness my momentary tantrums except Rosa, my dog. She opens one eye and then goes back to sleep. So much for my winning an Oscar.

My point is that for me bottling stuff up and holding it in is unhealthy. What I have learned is that how I feel is about me, not the others involved, and that when I am willing to face the feelings, they dissipate and I can move on. How moving on looks is always different but I feel better when I get unstuck. That may not work for you. I have no idea.

We haven't heard from you for some time. How are you doing?

Grab Bag / Re: Software Clitch
« on: July 27, 2017, 04:05:16 PM »
Just talked with our Webmaster. He is going to completely reinstall our software. Hang in there, everyone!

Grab Bag / Re: Software Clitch
« on: July 26, 2017, 07:02:07 PM »
Can you tell me what kind of similarities, M.? I will pass it on to Kirk. Thanks so much! We have a filter that catches robot members by the thousands. I know nothing about programming but I know Kirk 'cleans' our site regularly and occasionally not only updates our software but also reloads the whole thing.

Grab Bag / Software Clitch
« on: July 26, 2017, 01:09:50 PM »
When hitting send after posting, I am experiencing a window appearing that tells me it's an error. If the rest of you get the same thing, ignore it...because the posts are going through just fine.

Our trusty Webmaster with be addressing it in the near future.

Thanks and hugs...

Grab Bag / Congratulations to Bamboo2 and StillLearning!
« on: July 26, 2017, 12:58:52 PM »
We have two new Global Moderators on WWU! Please help me welcome Bamboo2 and StillLearning! They have taken on the task with open hearts...and Pen and I are deeply grateful!

We started out with four Global Moderators in, was it 2009, Pen? We soon lost Pam to a serious illness, and Pooh moved on recently. I feels so good to be back to a full crew! Thanks from the bottom of my heart to both of you!

A 'Global Moderator' is a member granted the same options I have, as the owner and originator of WWU. Of course with that comes an occasional headache but thank heaven, they're willing.

Behind the scenes they will help Kirk, my Webmaster-son, and me do our best to see that WWU runs smoothly and is the safe space you have all come to expect. We are all guided by the Vision Statement in the upper right hand corner of our HomePage and the Forum Agreement.

Thanks to all of you for you contributions and trust. I honor each and every one of you and am so grateful to have you in my life! Love, Luise

Grab Bag / Re: As usual, acceptance!
« on: July 26, 2017, 12:18:07 PM »
I apologize for being MIA. I don't have the energy I once did but/and I love you dearly, Pen.

What a tough road! I can't imagine how it must feel. Where beyond WWU can you find support? Can you take a look to see who matters to you that you matter to, and focus there? It seems to me that it's too much to address without a counselor and a good friend or two. We are here for you. How can you be 'here for you', too?

I can see why you went and it seems like what you got for your effort was confirmation that nothing has changed. I may be wrong. Again I urge you to love yourself, in the face of all of this, to the degree that you can establish some much needed nurturing. You deserve it, Pen.

Grab Bag / To Pen
« on: July 25, 2017, 07:38:09 PM »
Hi Pen, Would you contact me at my email address, please? Hugs!

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