I think the jealousy end of it may be something she's going to have to come to terms with on her own. I've made a point to not bring up any time my mom babysits or helps me out, and either ignoring her when she pries about it or telling her I don't keep track of how often my mom sees him. It's truthful without directly answering. Telling her how often my mom is here is going to set off comparisons. I find that DH tells her when my mom helps when he's out of town or has babysat so I think I'm going to have to tell him to stop that. I do feel for her that's it's difficult to be away from her only child and grandchild, and I have a son and may very well be in the same situation someday. I'm hopeful that maybe as my son gets bigger and able to communicate with her (and remember her from visit to visit) maybe he won't have the bad reactions to her that he does.