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Thank you Marina. I agree, that it is very sound advise. A little easier said then done, but so correct. This has definitely been a great support system and I appreciate it all.

Thank you so much pooh for your insight. I feel so much better knowing that there are others out there getting what I am saying. Sometimes I feel complete shame for not having my son in my life, yet I also feel a lot of relief knowing that I don't have all the chaos, drama and bitterness to deal with. Sometimes I think that I don't know if I'll get through the day because i love him dearly, but I must say I do have less stress and turmoil. It is definitely the most difficult thing I've gone through and I don't know if the pain of such a loss will lessen. I try  everyday to be optimistic that whatever occurs with our relationship that I can feel whole and happy again.Sometimes I feel guilty that my daughter and I have a wonderful relationship and then I feel guilty that my guilt takes away from our relationship. As you can tell, I am a real mess and confused at times with all of this. It truly is a grieving process. To all of you I send big warm hugs.

I must say that I am findig myself particularily depressed today. I'm not sure why because my daughter, my mom and myself. spent the day together to celebrate  mother's day a little early. I enjoyed our time together, but my heart felt heavy. I guess it is obivous because of the estranged relationship with my son and letting myself get into these deep thoughts of what I did wrong. Maybe it's because I feel so much love from my daughter, yet so much hate from my son and that whirlwind cofusion over powers me. I am not sure what to do to not let these conflicting emotions overtake my thoughts, but I know that I need  to do something. I guess one step was to just  vent my feelings. Thanks for listening. Have a Great Mother's Day Ladies!

I am so happy and relieved to hear from you both. I am so drained from this and you have brought some desire to get my energy back. I can see by coming on here that I am not alone and would welcome any advice or support. I hope to grow and learn how to make this a healthy situation for me. I love my son dearly, I worry about him constantly, but I know that I have to let go and work on me. Thank you so much for sharing your stories because it truly gives me hope that I wont feel so much pain as I grow. I also know your pain and struggles and my hopes are for you as well to have a happy and healthy life. If I could I would give you a hug, so know that is i my heart.
Thank you and I will be back

I am so glad I found this sight. Most of my son's life has been filled with anger and intolerance. He has had a variety of issues since he was very young and rather complex to really get into now and although I was not mother of the year, I love my children with all my heart. My daughter is always saying she has the best mom in the world (she's 25) but my 26 year old son says the complete opposite. I sought help for his problems with doctors. he was diagnosed with ADD, but I knew that they weren't quite getting everything.  As he grew, I encouraged him, begged him and demanded he seek help. Well of course the only help he needed was "not having me as a mother". He has been verbaally, and mentally abusive to me, my daughter and my mother. We feel for him because we know deep down that he is a great guy. He has now been diagnosed as bipolar and was trying to work on himself, but now he has a girlfriend who has joined in the blame game and he's heading in  downward spiral. I however am too and I can't take the pain and anger this brings in my life. What do I do, he says he was told by a counsellor to cut all ties with me. She supposedly said this after a 45 minute initial assessment. I am ready to cut ties myself, but I love him and wish I didn't feel this way. I am really starting to feel like my head is in a constantstate of confusion and disruption becuase he twists and turns everthing that is said or occurs and he leaves me wondering what the heck just went on. The pain is excrutiating because I don't want to lose my son, but I'm loosing myself. how does everyone cope?