Quote from: Sarah on June 29, 2014, 03:28:36 AMQuote from: herbalescapes on June 28, 2014, 02:11:06 PM
If my DH can't be bothered to take off from work to take his mom to the doctor or can't be bothered to remember her birthday with a card/call/gift or can't be bothered to ask his own parents to babysit but leaves the arranging of a sitter entirely on my shoulders, should I be considered the DILFH? I think the vast majority of MIL/DIL problems are really DM/DS and/or DH/DW problems, with the MIL/DIL being used as a scapegoat.
Thank you for that. I couldn't agree more. If my husband leaves his mother to me to deal with while he sticks his nose in a book, then I get blamed for not doing it right, doing it well enough, not being nice enough, etc...then really, why does HE get a pass? It is HIS family. Only so much you can take. But the OP's comments seem very patronizing to me. jmo.
I agree with the patronizing tone.
I am a very loving DIL even though my MIL doesn't deserve it. For example, she called yesterday because she was distressed about the power outage in her area. (Not sure how the phone worked...) My MIL also likes to complain about my beloved SIL (My BIL's wife) to me. I quietly listened to my MIL criticize my SIL as a mother. For example, I said that my niece has such beautiful curly red hair. My MIL responded with complaints about my SIL not grooming her properly. My MIL said that my BIL was hovering over his daughter too much just because he put sunscreen on his child's porcelain skin. She even said that my niece needs a sibling, when she know darn well that my SIL suffers from secondary infertility. My MIL does nice things out of a sense of duty but she is a very mean and bitter woman. She is also a racist.
Some MILs feel that their bad behavior is justified because they feel "displaced" or "ignored". You and I both know this is pure nonsense.