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Hi everyone. I haven't posted in a couple months. I have finally been seeing psychologist to help me deal with all my losses and the betrayal and estrangement from 2 daughters and a granddaughter. I'm still having such a hard time getting through the anger and hurt. I'm alone so much of the time, I do get out and am starting to meet with a knitting group so hopefully that will help with the loneliness.  I just feel so empty, lost, like my arms were cut off when I lost those girls. It just doesn't seem real that your children can turn on you when you were the center of their lives, always there to help or listen.....how in the world do you mend a broken heart?

I guess I'm just venting. Really, does the pain EVER go away? I get to have our one 11 year old granddaughter every other weekend and her little brother who is 5 now and then too. But what is so difficult is having that sweet granddaughter and hearing about her mother, who totally betrayed me, her husband and then blamed all of us for it. It's all I can do to not cry or just get angry when I even hear her mentioned. I'm beginning to think maybe I should not exercise that visitation for a while until I have more healing. I know my GD needs me in her life, and my little GS too, but I need something too.....distancing so I can stop exposing myself to the still very raw feelings.

If I tell my husband that I feel this way, that I want to take a break from our GD visiting us, he will throw out the guilt of how much she needs us. Yet really, her mom is who she looks to at the age she is, even though her mom is not a good role model at all. I'm in such a dillemna as to how to handle it all. Most the time I just want to move away so I never have to be exposed to them again and can have the remainder of my life somewhat peaceful without any chance of more hurt.

Well, enough of my rant. I have to add that my husband is not their real father. Their real father was abusive and I divorced him when they were all very young. But oh...now they all are in touch with him and it's great. Go figure. I did the work, I get thrown under the bus, and the guys (another husband, father of my oldest) that were never there reap from the work and love I put into all of them.

Sad and I don't think a broken heart can ever be mended.

Here goes...I will try to make this short.

My middle daughter, 30, had an affair with her husband's best friend, and his wife was also my daughter's friend. The wife was battling cancer and has 3 small children. We didn't find out the truth until several months into it and then all he-- broke loose. My daughter had been lying to everyone, including us, and even wanted us to help her pay for a divorce. When I finally figured out what was really going on (very complicated) I got so angry I couldn't see straight! 3 times she left the boyfriend and asked her husband to forgive her and all the while my 2 GC (ages 5 and 11) were getting so confused, "is daddy here now? or is the boyfriend?" I had to confront her and she was demanding that I give her unconditional love and support. Well, suffice it so say I told her I loved her, but I sure didn't like or respect her anymore. "what are you THINKING? and what ARE you doing to these kids?"

Well, now the divorce is final, my daughter has moved in with the boyfriend (not divorced yet) and the house is truly, truly like a dump as bad as anything in the slums of L.A.

My 2 GC are very close to me, but we had to get an attorney to have Grandparents Visitation because DD said I could never see my GD again (she is not the natural child of the ex-hubby).

We won the case, yet now the drama continues as she does not take care of them as she used to, she deals with the boyfriend's 3 kids, and has my Gkids 3 days of the week too. My GD is starting to really open up to me about things, very angry with her mother, and now is revealing how the boyfriend yells at her at no more than a foot from her face. She says she doesn't go to sleep until 2 am many nights because of all the spiders on the walls around her bed. Her mom has bought her no clothes for school, she is wearing what she had a year ago and are very tight on her now.

Each year my hubby and I buy her new clothes for school as she never has had a real daddy and we did the same this year. However, we only let her have them at her stepfather's when he has custody, or when she is with us. I will not help my daughter when she has thrown so much away, treats these kids like they are animals now that the boyfriend is more important.

There is much more going on, but at this point, we are going back to the attorney with tape recordings and my ex SIL, to see what can be done before we go as far as CPS. I feel the BF is potentially abusive, obviously he is intimidating and verbally abusive. My GD says her mom doesn't say anything, just lets the BF do the bossing.

It breaks my heart, yet I am blessed my dear GD trusts to talk to me. So.....on to the attorney we go. At this point, I am disowning my DD as she has even called the police on us in the past for no reason and hauled the GD out of here with them. Later it was found she had lied to the police.

I guess I'm just venting...but if anyone has a similar story or suggestions, bring them on. I would like to see my ex SIL get full custody at this point. He has the home, cooks for those kids, takes them out to have fun and we all get together often just to hang out. He has been a son to me and we have helped each other through all this.

I do praise God for the blessings in spite of the hurt and stress. :-

Hello everyone....I'm new to this forum but not the topics!

I would have said 'given up' too....but the word is more appropriately 'accepted', at least for me. I have 4 grown children and 6 grandchildren. I went through many difficulties in my life raising them, but nonetheless I focused on them and sewing their cute clothes, taking them on trips for run rides and dancing together...soccer, the whole bit.

We were always very close. But somehow over the last few years, 2 of the daughters (38 and 30) have become people I don't know anymore. One went out and had an affair with her hubby's best friend and it has been heartbreaking what she's putting everyone through...but it's EVERYONE else's fault. She has been just relentless in making sure everyone she can will believe her story and that we are the evil parents, her ex is evil...no accountability on her part. The oldest daughter, who is the only one that lives far away, has taken her side and seems to have exactly the same position on things! It's too long a story to keep on going here, but suffice it to say, no matter what I do, they all think I'm suddenly the hateful and 'mental' mother. I guess they don't like me calling them out on truth about how I raised them to behave. Well, I'm still MOM. I speak truth, and when I have been there to help them it was great, but oh my....if I don't, then they want nothing to do with me. Sound familiar?

My other daughter is now pulling away....my son is a lost soul but sweet......too many tears have flowed on my end and I'm too tired now. So I have just stopped trying for my own health and some sort of happiness. I realize they are toxic in my life now, no longer the children I once nursed. So I have thrown out many photos except for some special ones, which I keep put away so I don't see them and cry. As I see it, they have essentially 'disposed' of me, so what more can I say? My life can't center around them anymore. I have blocked them on my cellphone, email and changed my home phone to an unlisted new number. I just want them to get it clear that no longer will I be the one to save the day and get slapped in the face if I don't.

It hurts...I cry...but I have to move forward. It's just one day at a time........one moment at a time. They may never see the hurt they caused until I am gone. Sadly, this generation has become 'entitled' and without respect or gratitude. I see it said by mothers everywhere, so I refuse to listen to the children who are grown and saying that it's all the PARENTS FAULT. No longer. They will find out when their own children are grown how it feels.