March 28, 2024, 07:56:18 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Topics - gortholland

1
My daughter got married in 2015.  Even during the engagement she was overtly favoring her future mother in law.  She included her in on ALL of the wedding planning ideas except that I paid for all of them and had to do all the leg work.  Things that should have been moments between my daughter and I were now between her mil, me and my daughter.  I never really had a close relationship with my kid as she's been sort of opinionated, self centered and snarky but I thought her wedding would draw us closer.  Not one bit.  I got ignored most of the time unless she wanted something paid for.  Then of course after the marriage, they spend all of the free time on weekends with his family.  They get invited to their house time and time again for holiday weekends and my husband and I are afterthoughts.  She only calls me when she wants something and only stops at our house as a convenience when they are on the way to her mil's house.
Now of course there's a baby coming in 4 months and again, i get notified when she wants something.  Recently her MIL hosted a baby shower that she didn't bother to ask me if I wanted to be included.  I was a guest, nothing more.  Pictures were taken of her and her mil and sister in law and the ladies from his family and put on facebook etc.  Did she include me? No...
I know I sound like I am whining...but I am more hurt than anything.  When people are rude to me, I separate myself from the situation and mind my own business.  My daughter is clueless as to how i feel.   I know her well enough to know that saying something would not do any good. 
I just wonder if anyone else here has been through this.
Thanks
Gortholland