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Our DD is 21. We adopted her from a Russian orphanage when she was five. She walked out of our house on Easter Sunday nearly two years ago and that is the last time we have seen her. Contact has been via phone and text, IF she chooses to answer or return a message. We recently found out that she has disconnected her phone. We've not received a forwarding or new number. We have been blocked from all of her social media accounts. Frustrating. What we have received, however, is an invitation to her wedding.
To list everything we have gone through with her in the past few years would make this post too lengthy. In a nut shell, she left our home the week before she was supposed to start conditioning for her scholarship sport and disappeared. Two days later she contacted us through an older half sister and said she didn't want to play the sport any more and didn't want to attend college after all. She didn't have an alternative plan and just wanted to 'live in the moment.' We thought she was nervous and told her she should attend for the first year because the financial aid, class schedules and housing were all in place. She agreed and we moved her things to the shared school apartment. After three quarters of horrendous behavior and activity - during which we resorted to a tough love stance - she quit and moved out of state with a distant friend. She met her partner and is now working and living in a rented home. About a year ago she sent a message saying that the partner wanted to meet us and we told her that before she brings anyone else into the mix, we felt there needed to be a conversation between her dad and I and her...just three adults at the table.
DD would like people to think that the reason we are not in her life is because of her sexual orientation. She tells people that she has no memories of growing up in our home. he and the GF live three hours away but have been in the area at least once that we know of and she never stopped in to see us. She has never acknowledged family holidays or celebratory events. Never acknowledged gifts or monies sent to her by family members. Never acknowledged stealing from us. She has never acknowledged bringing alcohol or drugs into our home.(We found empty bottles, syringes and pot when we were packing her stuff for college.) Never acknowledged lying about having a job and selling her Adderall to fellow students. I just feel like this conversation needs to take place before we can move on. I just want to know that she knows we love her - and we certainly DO - and is ready to change that. Is this inappropriate or out of line for us?? Any thoughts?
To list everything we have gone through with her in the past few years would make this post too lengthy. In a nut shell, she left our home the week before she was supposed to start conditioning for her scholarship sport and disappeared. Two days later she contacted us through an older half sister and said she didn't want to play the sport any more and didn't want to attend college after all. She didn't have an alternative plan and just wanted to 'live in the moment.' We thought she was nervous and told her she should attend for the first year because the financial aid, class schedules and housing were all in place. She agreed and we moved her things to the shared school apartment. After three quarters of horrendous behavior and activity - during which we resorted to a tough love stance - she quit and moved out of state with a distant friend. She met her partner and is now working and living in a rented home. About a year ago she sent a message saying that the partner wanted to meet us and we told her that before she brings anyone else into the mix, we felt there needed to be a conversation between her dad and I and her...just three adults at the table.
DD would like people to think that the reason we are not in her life is because of her sexual orientation. She tells people that she has no memories of growing up in our home. he and the GF live three hours away but have been in the area at least once that we know of and she never stopped in to see us. She has never acknowledged family holidays or celebratory events. Never acknowledged gifts or monies sent to her by family members. Never acknowledged stealing from us. She has never acknowledged bringing alcohol or drugs into our home.(We found empty bottles, syringes and pot when we were packing her stuff for college.) Never acknowledged lying about having a job and selling her Adderall to fellow students. I just feel like this conversation needs to take place before we can move on. I just want to know that she knows we love her - and we certainly DO - and is ready to change that. Is this inappropriate or out of line for us?? Any thoughts?