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Messages - woolovereyes

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: I am just beaten down...
« on: January 21, 2013, 07:10:45 AM »
  Tell him to WALK.         Apparently he has no respect for you - your car or your credit/reputation.  At 22 ? Walking or bicycling will not kill him. If he wants to ACT like a child ( not cleaning up, not chipping in for gas /ins and not paying his tickets)  I would treat him like one. ie , Walk, or bike to wherever. Tell him when he wants to be a grown up , and can responsibly act like one, you MIGHT consider sharing your posessions ( car ) again. Till then? Exercise is good for him.

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Thanks ! .. sad as the situation is/ was...  I feel much better taking control of my future. He made his choice, now I have made mine, and I see no reason why the "dutiful" child should have to share 50/50   when he already GOT his, when he ripped me off. That being said? I am very happy to leave everything to her and her child.. she is good, and that baby is adorable, so I will focus on the people in my life that actually WANT to be part of my life, and be family.

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / Re: Goodbye Dear Son (letter Sent)
« on: December 28, 2012, 05:13:40 PM »
I think it is a good letter. Sounds like something I should write, instead, I wrote a new will today. And dis-inherited my son. That was MY letter to move on.  You summed it up nicely,  YOU sacrificed your entire young adult life, and like most parents, just about every day since he was conceived, you have put forth an effort into HIM , that has not been recognized or appreciated. That being said? Life is too short,  Focus on YOU, and people ( whether related or not ) that actually WANT to be part of your "family" . The ones that don't?  Let them go, you can't hold onto something that doesn't exist, and apparently your concept of a "relationship" and his, are vastly different.. move on, and be happy for a change, you have "invested" enough.

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 :)

I will be traveling extensively for work for the next 3 months. In case the planes crash or something, I redid my will today and intentionally left out the son that ripped me off ( see kicked to the curb post ).  In the spirit of my New Years resolutions, one of which was to stop being "nice" and a "doormat" to that particular child. I must confess, I feel better for having left everything I own to my daughter and her child.

He got his "portion" when he ripped off my inheritance. Hope he's happy with it, cause the farm is worth WAY more than that was.. dumb fool.. and Now its all "legal" too.

New years resolution kept ! Yay, Go-me !

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Awww.. thanks.  Sad that I really do miss the kid I "had", but really not wanting to just keep being a doormat. Pretty much figured it is highly obvious they have no regrets whatsoever in using me and then going on their merry way. That being said, I really see no reason to extend the olive branch to ppl that make me miserable- apparently on purpose. Agree tho' that it is a sad situation all the way around.

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PS .. they are already out of the will, I redid it, omitting them and giving the entirety of farm and life ins, to the dutiful Daughter I have.

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They didnt have a penny to their name when they came, however I had a 3 story victorian, almost 100 yrs old, with slate roof and "gingerbread" over an hr away from our farm.  Old houses like that need maitenance and work. It did have ( courtesy of me ) a whole new HVAC throughout.  The "agreement" was to fix it up- repaint it and live in it, until the economy turned around. That way - I didnt have an empty house for ppl to break into to steal the copper ( a nationwide epidemic )  in turn - since they would be paying ALOT of $$ to rehab the house? It was ONE balloon pmt- when sold,  and ZERO interest- basically no mortgage .* because they were supposed to fix it up and sell it.   They got their hands on it, did some repairs, stayed for 14 mos, and then turned it into a rental and split for a state 1000 miles away.   They now get 1K a mo. +/-  to "supplement" their income , while until the house sells, ( NEVER ) I get nothing. They did to "comply" put it on the market - with a sign in front of it, while the renters live there, HOWEVER ? they put SOOOOOOOOO HIGH a pricetag on it, it is NOWHERE in the market price for what it is/ and the work that still needs to be done. Technically circumventing anything legal..and QUITE intentional.  So, yes, I am ticked. and No, I dont really care if it screws up their life, cause apparently they care NOT that they have screwed up mine.  Sorry,   but your right, some things just are not "repairable". I am beginning to think this is one of them.

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 ;D  Nice !   I actually was thinking since I won't ever see the $$ anyway.. of "gifting" it to him/"forgiving" the mortgage $ that I will never see anyway, and filing a 1099S on him.   If I can't get the $ , at least he & "princess" will have to cough up a HUGE amount of money just to pay the gift tax. Let them see how it feels to be BROKE. lol

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Now that is SOOO appropriate! Thanks.  Still it's just sad all in all. I miss the sweet child I raised. Guess he's gone forever tho, still I really did think I did a WAY better job than that.  That's sorta hard to get over.

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So true.. thanks.

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I have "self analyzed" this to death. I think the biggest anger problem I have with this, is HOW is this kid even mine?  I did not Raise him to be dishonorable, he has more than hurt me, and its not even so much the $$ - although admittedly I SURELY could use it. It's the point that I no longer trust him, period. Nothing he says, or does..   He has created an enormous amount of self -doubt in me, wondering How could he do this to me- when everything I did was for him, I believed every word he said about "fixing the house up nice" and staying around until the Grandchild at the very least had to start school. And if I am truly that bad a judge of Character? Why even BOTHER " repairing" this relationship at all. I certainly do not "hang out" with liars, and thieves, and as far as Im concerned his actions warrant that title.  And WHY would one WANT to subject themselves to more possible abuse?  Frankly , I see no way to repair this, my only pondering question is HOW did a sweet loving son I raised - turn into such a rat... That? I guess I will never figure out. He was certainly not like this prior to "princess".   Therein, I think lies the problem.     Oh well....

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Well, if nothing else, the property I live on now has NO mortgage, and I was smart enough to get life insurance BEFORE my illness, so as long as I dont miss any premiums I can't get cancelled. That being said? They are not ever getting another penny. It will ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL go to the dutiful daughter I have and her husband.       Unfortunately tho, I don't think they care, since they are rakin in about 1K a month in rent, while I have about 200 bucks to last until the end of this month, and the gas JUST ran out for the hot water.    Mean as it sounds? I hope she divorces him sometime in the future, takes him for EVERY PENNY of child support she can get, never lets HIM see HIS kid either ( let him see how it feels ) and when he come grovelin back , I get the satisfaction of kickin him to the curb - as he has done me..    >:(  Yeah, yeah.. Im workin on that Anger Mgmt thing.. Lol... still have a way to go I think  ;)

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Had relatively good relationship with son, till he married a la-di-da princess. They moved cross country without a penny to their name, and bad credit. I sold them a family home, that I inherited, CHEAP, ( at her insistance that the price keep being lowered, and I did to "help them out " )  The agreement was they were to live in it, and fix it up, and then "flip" it when the economy & housing market rebounded.  INSTEAD? They stayed briefly,  TURNED IT INTO A RENTAL , and moved about 1000 miles away.  I nursed both my elderly parents in that home, both of them passed in that home, I literally scrubbed blood off the floor in that home. (sorry ) ...they were supposed to FIX IT UP AND SELL IT.   The standard legal language in the sales, was, well... standard.   There is nothing saying they CAN'T make it a RENTAL, however  ?  THIS IS MY RETIREMENT $$/Inheritance.  As it stands now, I am technically "financing" their new lifestyle ( since they get the rental $$ )  I no longer see the Grandchild - who was 6 mos when they left and is now a yr old.  Personally? I have health problems ,and basically could qualify for food stamps,  I  could have used rent $$ myself, or sold it outright, myself.  Instead , it is now a rental with a balloon pmt- 30 yrs from now. ALL TO HELP THEM out, and they see nothing wrong with this. Supposedly "I am being the butch".. Go figure.        I even paid the 1800 in closing costs - cause they had no $$.  "O" percent interest too...  sure had the wool pulled over my eyes.  NO IDEA what I ever did to get such an ungrateful child. All I can do is pray KARMA gets both of them..  anyone ever be as stupid as me and FINANCE the departure of G Child #1, and pay for their new lifestyle, all while basically doing without all to "help them" DUH.. SMH just call me stupid... OH? and they don't think they did anything wrong.  Sheesh.

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