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Messages - momof4

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Adult Sons and/or Adult Daughters / adult daughter giving up on me
« on: October 23, 2017, 10:05:23 AM »
I am new to this site. I am a widow of 4 years, no siblings, no other family, just my 4 kids and families.  3 boys, one daughter. I've had problems with them all...mostly since their Dad unexpectedly died. Right now my daughter. I am not a confrontational person. Don't like drama. Problem is my daughter invites me to events. Some I attend...like birthdays and Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter..the major ones. she invited me to her house for Halloween, which now is not much of a holiday and it was her Dad's birthday. So planned on staying home and when I told her I was not coming, she got mad. It is an hours drive to where she is, but she plans most everything at night and I do not like doing those back, curvy, dark, isolated roads all by myself at night. MY eyes are not so good.. My grandson, her oldest, has a concert coming up soon and he is in college. so to go, I would drive 1 hour to her place, then 45 minutes over to the college (riding with her and the family) then repeat on way home. Not getting home till 11. Plus all this I have a 14 year old dog, who can not be left alone, no one to watch her. I am going crazy trying to please everyone and when I tell my daughter I can not make something, she posts a nasty meme on facebook and tells me she has given up and not inviting me anymore as I always say no or make up excuses. I've attended a lot, but can't do them all. I feel bad, but circumstances are what they are. How can I handle this without a giant argument and she can be VERY nasty. But, I'm afraid if I tell her off, then she will cut me out entirely and I have no one else to rely on in an emergency. The boys are either too far away, won't help or working all the time  I was going to get counseling. but only on SS and barely making ends meet. Help please.

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