March 28, 2024, 03:42:57 AM

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - Mom of 1

1
Yes, Thank you for the edit. Sorry. And Touche. I should not have tried to slap his face, however it had happened before that he had spoke to us in that manner. It was just at a breaking point. At 25 years old & being told it wasn't acceptable to speak to us in that manner before; he still does it occasionally. Would like suggestions on how to better address it, as well as to get him to stop it permanently. You know, it's a stress when today's kids are taking longer to fly the nest. Also, my husband said to me he never should become physical with a woman, no matter what she says, especially his mother. I agree. We don't know how to make him understand the importance of this. Of course we are concerned about his relationships now & in the future because of what he did by becoming physical. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. And Luise, how old is the son you had some difficulties with today, if you don't mind my asking? And his behavior towards you today? Always hoping. For all parents. Thank you.
2
I have not posted here before, however I have read the many wise women who offer suggestions & comfort. I told my son it was foolish of him regarding a decision he made; obviously without thinking that put my husband & I in a financial lurch to help him. He swore at me and called me horrible names. He has been disrespectful on occasions before, & while voicing our preference he not do so, it would just end in retreat to cooling off. Being upset enough from putting us in a difficult financial position, when he said this , I told him to never talk that way to me or his Father again, & tried to slap his face. He surprised me by physically raising his hand to block me & grabbed me, calling me terrible curse names; & threw me across the room! I was enraged & said how dare you! Ok, foolishly, I tried to slap him again. He then threw me against a wall twice, grabbed my arms & put me on my knees, threatening me! My husband was just coming in the house & we kicked him out permanently. I am in disbelief that this ever happened, & my heart is broke. We have not ever been abusive to him in any way throughout his life. In this moment, it has changed all of our lives & cannot ever be undone. He has a job, is going to school, & most likely went to stay with his girlfriend. He has unbelievably tried to justify himself in a later conversation with his father, making things up to make himself the victim! I am so hurt. We don't want him to live here anymore, but are wondering what to do (nothing for some time, I think) eventually to salvage a relationship with him somehow for the rest of our lives. Forgiveness on our part is cautious, but we believe will come. We are just concerned that this horrible incident could sever any decent type of a relationship with him for the future. We are still in disbelief, hurt, & angry even. I know this is serious, but did not want police involved. Hoping somehow to come to terms all around. Besides the shocker of it, does anyone have anything to say besides therapy, or police? He is not on drugs, but takes many supplements for body building. He is very strong. I appreciate all of you. Thank you.