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Problem Solving => Daughter in Laws and/or Son in Laws => Topic started by: raindrops_on_my_soul on April 13, 2017, 12:21:26 PM

Title: The surprises never cease
Post by: raindrops_on_my_soul on April 13, 2017, 12:21:26 PM
Hi everyone
 I wanted to tell yall what I discovered today. I had a look at my oldest sons facebook page and saw that he had added a woman that his father had an affair with while we were still married. I immediately saw red! Cannot believe he would have the desire to have someone like that on his facebook. How dare he. Words cannot begin to describe my feelings at this moment. I want so badly to confront him but I don't want him to know that I have been snooping. But how do I continue on pretending not to have seen this? And the bigger question is why would he even want to befriend someone like that? I am no longer mad about the affairs his father had as I divorced him and remarried long ago and he has since then died, nor am I angry at the woman he had the affair with. But it still feels like a betrayal by my son. How do I get beyond this?
Title: Re: The surprises never cease
Post by: MammaT on April 13, 2017, 12:38:22 PM
Wow. That is very odd. Is there any reason for him to have her on his facebook? Does she have a business etc that maybe the reason? I agree with you, i would also feel mad and disrespected. Maybe you can ask him about her this way... Once a friend of yours adds a friend, you will be asked do you knowthis person? Would you like to add them? Under their picture it says a # and mutual friends . like: mary has 3mutal friends. If you click that it will show you the friends. Now all this is done without ever going off your facebook page. And you can't be accused of snopping. Hope that helps. I really hope it was accidental that he added her. Best wishes
Title: Re: The surprises never cease
Post by: raindrops_on_my_soul on April 13, 2017, 12:40:34 PM
I accidentally posted this under the wrong category
Title: Re: The surprises never cease
Post by: luise.volta on April 13, 2017, 01:19:23 PM
No problem regarding categories. All is well.

Others probably won't agree and that's fine. That's why WWU works. My take is that your son's Facebook Timeline is his business. He gets to put anything on it without approval or judgment from his mother. Easier said than done, I know. I see it as our job not to go where landmines may await. We once monitored our dependent children...it's no longer our job. They often grow up without meeting our expectations. That's their right. Sending hugs...
Title: Re: The surprises never cease
Post by: raindrops_on_my_soul on April 13, 2017, 05:22:44 PM
Thank you for your responses, Luise you are absolutely right. I am so glad I waited it out and didn't say anything to him.
Title: Re: The surprises never cease
Post by: luise.volta on April 13, 2017, 05:27:39 PM
WiseWoman!  :D