So many have lost their mothers and this might be a better post to start on Mother's Day (nobody says we can't do a repeat!), I would really like to leave my own thoughts about my mother.
She is still here, but there isn't a day that goes by that I am not thankful for her influence on me. This is what I have realized about having my mother, and I hope some of you will think about your own mothers and leave you thoughts here...
No matter how old I get or how alone I feel, there is someone I can still talk to who listens and loves me in spite of my own shortcomings. She may not always agree, but when that time comes (and it always does) that something happens to me, taking my breath - and part of my self esteem away... There she is!
What a wonderful person to have in my life!
Great thread coco....
let me tell you, the mother figure in my life was my foster mother...she was a tremendous person....everyone loved her, you wouldn't believe how many people she helped out....she was my best friend, confidant and mentor....very naieve to the ways of the world...she was a house wife, and I don't ever remember her yelling....if it wouldn't be for her, I would probably be very much like my DIL....thank God, God put her in my path...I knew her since I was 5 years old and what a positive influence she was....
you can never replace your parents, your children, but by God, you CAN replace your spouce....LOL
thank you for such a beautiful thread
My DM passed many years ago, before I married DH and had children. I miss her every day. She tried to keep her identity while married to a narcissist (my dad.) I think of her often while reading our posts and dealing with DIL problems, because although she was very affected by her marriage and the resulting self-esteem issues, she managed to carve blocks of time out for her interests and needs. Happy Mother's Day, mom! Miss you heaps!
These memories are so precious. I believe your mother's are seeing and hearing you, whever they are! What a nice thing to remember someone who loved you with all her heart!
We should have a father's day too! Like I said, we can do a repeat.....
Creme, then that was your mother! She was the woman who loved you like that! I don't believe we are all biologically connected to the woman who gave birth anymore than the father who was clearly just a sperm donor. Some of us have mother's who wanted us so badly, they had to reach out and find us. That woman wanted you - she found you to be your mother and you were watching for her.
My mother was born in the 1800s and a product of her time. Very proper and "contained." I do not ever remember being held or kissed or hugged. I do have pleasant memories of her reading out loud to us.
Sometimes just imagining the sound of her voice is like a hug then.
That would be nice to see it that way.
Oh my! I didn't read that one right at all. I'm sorry Luise!
But, good for you that you've turned into a beautiful woman in spite of that upbringing. It takes alot to become the fairy-godmother! Are you a hugger with your children and grandchildren?
My parents weren't huggers. They suddenly started looking for hugs years later, and I can remember feeling "strange" hugging them! HA! They made up for the missing hugs in other ways, but it really did affect me for awhile.
My mother has been gone for 20 years now. My father passed away at a young age (47) and my mother did her hardest to make sure my childhood was a happy one. Even though we didn't always agree when I became an adult--she was my "best friend" and I miss her terribly. Really wish she could have seen her grandsons grow up to be wonderful men--as she was like a "second" mother to them.
Carol
Carol welcome, and thanks for posting such a warm feeling about her. I believe they can hear (read) us! Your mother is smiling that you miss her so much! I believe she is waiting to walk with you through the gates of heaven (or the other side of this world, pick your own meaning here!) Such a warm thought! I'm happy to have you here!
I miss my mother too. She was always there for me. I could have used her wise advise the past few months. She would always have a way of making me see both sides of every situation. She was a very kind and sensitive woman...
CCB: I think I am an inept hugger. In a burst of enthusiasm, I've hugged people who didn't want to be hugged...like my new step-son and his wife when I met them. She grabbed both of my arms and all but slammed them down to my sides. And recently, after being confined to my home and my wheelchair for almost three months, I showed up at a meeting here in our community (as the new 2010 secretary) and when a man from our Caregiver's Support Group came up and greeted me with delight, I hugged him. He may still be recovering from that. This is a very conservative, church-run retirement community where people seem to like me but can also overwhelmed by my spontaneous nature. I'm learning, though!
LOL! Luise, CCB, I completely understand what you're talking about. I have become a hugger over the years, and I've noticed "looks" at times. I try to control myself though! It's hard now, but at least my kids and GK's light up when I do it! :)
My family didn't hug or snuggle either. There's a photo of me sitting next to my mom, but that's about it. She was good at doing projects with us, but seemed uncomfortable with more. During the "touchy-feely Seventies" my dad went to some group and "learned" how to hug. Since I felt the loving feelings weren't there, his hugs just felt weird and awkward to me. I was a more accessible mom, and my kids loved to snuggle. Now as adults they hug hello and goodby, but I often have to initiate it. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes my arms ache to hold them again!
Penstamen, it doesn't sound strange at all to me! You're healthy, but not at all strange. Oh, but maybe I'm strange! ;D ;D
Will the person who is not strange...please stand up? ;D ;D
I lost my mom almost 30 years ago when I was very young. She was very sweet, smart kind and understanding, always knew the right thing to say. She was always there for me and spoiled me. I've missed her so much all these years...
Guest1, she's loving you from the other side now! We are just never alone.