Author Topic: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE  (Read 954 times)

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Offline Hope

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LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« on: September 26, 2010, 06:47:00 PM »
I wanted to share a poem that a friend just emailed me.  I don't know if it's been posted before, but if so it bears repeating.  I hope it helps others like me to heal and move on.  Hugs, Hope

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
   it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
   it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
   but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
   the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
   it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
   but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
   but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
   but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
   but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
   it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
   but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
   but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
   but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
   but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
   but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !

Remember: The time to love is short
Hugs, Hope

Offline luise.volta

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2010, 08:51:05 PM »
Beautiful! Letting go of agendas, opinions, grudges and even points of view.

And sometimes here, the kind of letting go we speak of is giving up to make room to go on.

Sending love...

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Offline Keys Girl

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2010, 09:52:16 AM »
Great poem, thanks for posting, lots of insight there.
“There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

Offline Hope

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2010, 07:26:23 PM »
Thanks for the responses.  I hope to read the poem regularly to allow it to sink in.  Hope everyone had a great day and sleeps well tonight.
Hugs to all, Hope
Hugs, Hope

Offline autumnlady

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 09:36:18 PM »
Thanks Hope I needed this tonight.  My DS#1 wedding is in Dec 2010 and I can't wait until it's over.  My DIL is really being awful to me and so is her mother and sister.  I have distanced myself as much as I can until the wedding.  After the wedding I am definitely letting go and hopefully one day my DS will figure it out.  But he may not and I have to learn to live with that.  Its hard I work on it everyday that I am excluded from his life.  He has replaced me with her parents.  It' painful but I will read this poem daily and pray for inner peace.  I do have another son and he is not like the other one, so I work harder on my relationship with him.  Unfortunately, younger son has his own issues with DS#1 and he knows it's not me, my DS#1 changed since he met DIL.  Sending hugs to all.  Thanks again!

Offline Nana

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2010, 09:52:27 PM »
He changed....but eventually will change back. 

Enjoy your other son.  May your heart never stop loving and may you have always someone to give it to. 

I feel I have so much love to give.......if someone does not want or need it.....someone else will.

Poor kids......what is wrong with them?   Now the man is not the man.......he is intimidated by wife.  Of course not all, but we read over and over again this same profile in the new generation.  I was thinking that with women's liberation.....we did take a lot of power over man. (lol).  We have these kind of men........or the abusers....... we need those that fall in the in-between category. 

I am just silly today......huh......Oh well!   
My husband is a sweet Macho Man.....He is sweet.....but he also like to be the one carrying the pants.  He loved my parents very much (nos deceased).  My dad was his role model  --- but he expected nothing less from me towards his parents. 

Sending love


Thanks Luise for this site....I just love it!
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Offline luise.volta

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2010, 09:58:31 PM »
You're so welcome. WWU is what I visualized and each and every one of you has made my dream come true!  :D

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Offline Nana

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2010, 10:14:50 PM »
Luise:

I feel safe in this site.  I feel home.  I come in....read the posts....sometimes I feel like responding and others I am not inspired....or dont have my ideas in order.   I always  learn something though.  I come to realize that we women (specially mothers) are so strong and cannot be bend easily.  I sometimes get to appreciate what I have (which I hadnt at some time) which many women would die for.   I learn that it is easier to speak out (or vent) with other women which I dont physically know because we are afraid of being judged by those we love.   

I know now....that we needed this site....  Noone can understand what we are going through unless they are or have been in that same spot.   We learned from everyone's experiences.
We learn from others anguish and pain.  Sad to say.....but this interaction we have with each other brings our heart together.  I shall call it a communion of hearts.

Oh Well....It is lengthy....I am very talkative today....could it be prozac?  (only joking). 

Luise how can you say so much in one line or two?  How can you summarize and advice and still not lose intensity.

Love
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:
Shakespeare

Offline luise.volta

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2010, 10:46:36 PM »
What a sweet post! Thank you!  ;)

I don't know how I do that. If you have read my counseling site: www.MomResponds.com ,you will see that I often have more to say in that venue. Probably because I am the only one answering. There is more responsibility involved. On www.Wise WomenUnite.com I am one of many. Often a distilled thought just pops into my head and I share it. I have won two very coveted awards in the last year. One for each site. Sending love...

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Offline autumnlady

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2010, 07:08:15 AM »
Nana - thank you for your kind words.  I hope that one day he does return to me, but it's in God's hands for now.  I too was married for 15 years to an abusive man, but I was always loving and kind to both his parents and truly loved his mom.  I was raised in an Italian loving family and it's cut to the heart to not be able to have both my boys in the same room due to the DIL's issues with DS#2 girlfriend.  So I don't invite them anymore it's just easier that way.  You are a loving and wonderful woman and unfortuantely our sons are being led around by the woman.  I agree woman rights may have caused men to lose some power, but it was equality that we were fighting for, not to take over as being in Charge.  Oh well.  I am doing better this morning and look forward to keeping in touch with my new friends on this site.

Luise - I couldn't agree more with Nana.  You are such an inspiration and to have the insite to begin this site was perfect.  I read alot of posts and my heart breaks for these mothers, fathers, daughters and sons.  What people are missing is that life is so precious, short and is truly a gift.  I will strive to accept things more the way you have learned.  It is so hard to realize that your baby has stabbed you in the back, does not stand up for you and bad mouths you just to keep peace with his wife to be.  I think that is the worst part for me.  I hope you have a blessed day and THANK YOU again from my heart for allowing all of us to grieve and move forward for a better life.  Sending hugs...:)

cremebrulee

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2010, 07:13:27 AM »
Thanks Hope I needed this tonight.  My DS#1 wedding is in Dec 2010 and I can't wait until it's over.  My DIL is really being awful to me and so is her mother and sister.  I have distanced myself as much as I can until the wedding.  After the wedding I am definitely letting go and hopefully one day my DS will figure it out.  But he may not and I have to learn to live with that.  Its hard I work on it everyday that I am excluded from his life.  He has replaced me with her parents.  It' painful but I will read this poem daily and pray for inner peace.  I do have another son and he is not like the other one, so I work harder on my relationship with him.  Unfortunately, younger son has his own issues with DS#1 and he knows it's not me, my DS#1 changed since he met DIL.  Sending hugs to all.  Thanks again!


Try and not assume, he has replaced you with her parents...he has not, and will always always love you, however, he is trying to keep her happy, even if he is compromising all his beliefs....he will do that, men believe it is they're job, so to speak...

Good luck, and know your in my thoughts and prayers.

Offline Barbie

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2010, 07:22:24 AM »
Autumnlady, I feel your pain and Creme, I know deep down that what you say is true, somedays it doesn't help much though.

cremebrulee

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2010, 09:12:33 AM »
Hope, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disregard your post...
writing poetry drew me to this, and it's awesome, an awesome rule to live my life by.

I was wondering, do you mind if I print it up....I would like to put this on my refrig, to remind me, when times get a little tough....

thank you
Creme

cremebrulee

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2010, 09:16:38 AM »
Autumnlady, I feel your pain and Creme, I know deep down that what you say is true, somedays it doesn't help much though.

Just believe guest....what you believe is what things will be, honestly, if you think negative things, negative things will happen, but if you believe beautiful things, they will happen and overwrite the bad...
Honest, Guest...your son does love you, more then your aware of....he will never stop loving you...your his mother...believe it...b/c when you start believing it, you start respecting his wishes....and it shows...then they come back...but it will never be the same as you knew it...he's different now, he's growing up and experiencing life...he will never again be that cute little boy who ran into your arms....for security, protection and love....he is struggling to find out who he is, struggling with responsibility and being a husband...and he doesn't know quit how to get there, but more then anything else, doesn't want to be told what and how to do things...

Hugs and much love
Creme

Offline Hope

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Re: LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2010, 06:52:58 PM »
Hope, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disregard your post...
writing poetry drew me to this, and it's awesome, an awesome rule to live my life by.

I was wondering, do you mind if I print it up....I would like to put this on my refrig, to remind me, when times get a little tough....

thank you
Creme
Thanks, Creme.  Even though I did't write the poem, I'm honored that you would want to post it and I'm so pleased to know that you feel it will be valuable to you.  Please post it on your frig - or wherever - and I hope it will also be a reminder to you that your wwu friends hold you in their hearts.
Hugs, Hope
Hugs, Hope