Hello CarolN
I really liked all the responses to your problem, however, I also liked DDM's.
that is exactly what I used to do with my GD. Created special events for her when she was with me, and yes, it wore us both out....
Jealousy is bad, no doubt about it....however, the fact that you admit it, is paramount....try and think back to when you had your child, was your mother alive and active in your life? Didn't you want to share your child more with her then your mil? It wasn't intentional on your part...you probably were not even aware of the fact that you did it, b/c it's perfectly normal to do so....a daughter grows ever so closer to her mother when she has a child....and she wants her mother there.
Think of it this way....if you do what DDM does and did....well, frankly, your GC is gonig to have lots of fun, and remember those special things you did and look so forward to being with you. Your GC is with your DIL's mother more, so, there is no comparisson that when your GC spends time with you and you create a day of fun and play, welll, my DIL told me that my GD looked so forward to the weekends with me, she told me my GD said...."I go play with Grandma".....
Take her swimming, if not, then get one of those small pools, make a tent out of blankets in the living room, and put blankets on the floor, let her take her nap in there....read to her...there are all kinds of things you can do...and it brings back fond memories of your own childhood.
If you have a spare bedroom you can make it into a child's room with just a few things like a princess canopy over her sleeping place...with a princess bed spread...
I bought a small desk and chair seat that was connected...it was unpainted so I stenciled her name across the top and the ABC's and Numbers on the bottom after painting it pink, then I put a couple of coats of sealent over top, which took a few weeks, b/c I left it get real dry and hard before I coated it again....
We fingerpainted, made sticker papers....painted...all supervised and doing it together...I didn't just sit her down in front of the TV by herself, but we did everything together and that's the key...
If your with someone all the time, it's human nature to take that time for granted....however, this will actually work towards your favor, and you will be the favorite grand ma....Every Sunday morning, as soon as my DIL would drop her off, we'd go to Friendly's for Strawberry Pancakes, then off to the park, or to a friend's home who had little children, then back home, to play, have lunch, nap....and then get up to play, go for a walk, watch Barney together and sing and dance around the coffee table, play her piano together....color together, made things for mommie...but keeping her busy and smiling was my only objective...and we really bonded...we had a good time together....don't worry about the other MIL...consentrate on making good memories for your GD when you do have her....and the rest will all fall into place.
Hugs
Creme
