Hello,
my grandkids call me Bubbles.. i am here because I am a mom and grandmother who has been going thru a lot and not sure what to do.. I have 3 daughters and love every one in there on special way..have always tried to be a mother who supported her children and tried to move them in positive directions..encouraging them to make better for themselves than I did. I married a man who had mental and addictive problems.. I tried everything I knew to help him.. until I came to realize I can only help myself.. He left to go and help his mom and dad when his mother broke her hip and he just never came back.. it was a Godsend..but on with what I am here about. My middle daughter.. got pregnant when she was 15 got married at 16 and had a beautiful baby boy.. her step father and i have been there ALWAYS for them.. we were the ones taking her to the doctor visits while pregnant (her husband was in service in Iraq). we were there when my grandson was born.. and basically helped raise him until his dad came home from iraq. she went to Kansas (we paid for the move) to spend time with her husband and try to make a life for her family. We didnt intefer .. we only called occasionaly.. we took all collect calls from my daughter.which was almost daily . went to visit up in Kansas we are in Texas... bought all of their furniture to set them up in their home.. and bought clothes for our grandson.. well hubby decided he didnt want to be married... was seeing other women in Iraq we found out.. and just wanted single life again.. so my daughter and grandson(she asked) came back to live with us. and we gladly took them in.. she was working and was a great mom.. her son was her top priority and we were so proud of her..then she met this guy.. he said all the right things.. telling her she was beautiful..telling her he so loved her son.. but it was so soon after he husband leaving her and they were not divorced.. i asked her to take things slower... give herself time to heal.. and I had heard some terrible things about this young man..drugs, his anger..etc..and you know that feeling you get when you are talking to someone and it just doesnt feel right?... it was that way with him... i didnt allow boy friends to spend the night in our home... but a neighbor let us know one day that he was coming in spending the night and leaving at about 4:00 each morning.. so we waited up and caught him.. and telling both my daughter and him that this was not acceptable in our home... when we came back from work that day.. her and the baby's clothes were all gone.. I tried to call my daughter but she wouldnt return calls.. nothing.. for 4 months I did not see my daughter or grandson.. i had a small heart attack and ended up in the hospital my Mother called and left word with my daughters boyfriends parents(where they were living) that i was ill and that she needed to be with her mother...she did show up.. and slowly we were able to see our grandson again...in fact we got to having them every weekend..and were picking him up from school everyday.. and sometimes were even keeping him for a week at a time. my daughter and her boy friend had moved into their own place. and come to find out there were parties going on.. drinking, drugs, etc.. and she at least had the wherewithall to not have my grandson in the mess.. there was one short time in this time that she left her boyfriend and lived with a friend... she did tell me that he was abusive and that he was stalking her.. stating that she even went shopping out of town and he would show up..(her friend she moved in with) also stated that he threatened her..(my daughter) if she didnt come back.. she decided to move back in with him.. and for I dont what reason..she decided to get pregnant( without him knowing) she stopped taking birth control pills and got pregnant again.. they lost the place they were living in due to the parties, not taking care of the place etc. and so I let them move into our house.. they were to save money so they could move into their own place.. He never lifted a finger to help around the house.. refused to follow any type of rules .. he told us we had to be quiet as he worked shift work and he had to have quiet... I watched my daughter being so nervous...trying so hard to please him yet nothing seemed to...came time for her to have the baby and my husband and I took her to the hospital while he stayed piled up in the bed... My older daughter came back from the hospital and told him to come and be a man and be their for his child if not for my daughter.. he finally showed up...set in a corner in the room.. didnt hold her hand or anything.. they came home this was in November... at Christmas my daughter came to me and said that he had bought $2000.00 rims for his truck and 2 pair of tennis shoes for $600.00 and she had no money for christmas for the boys.. so we bought their Christmas.. 3 days after Christmas the boyfriend left my daughter for another woman.. when he was leaving he was telling my daughter that he couldnt stand her older son that he wasnt his and he couldnt stand to look at him.. I told my daughter after he left that he would want to come back.. but he wasnt coming back to our home.. and I hoped she would have more respect for herself and not take him back.. but he did want to come back... my husband and I refused... and they all moved out... with not seeing my daughter and grandsons for 6 months.. but when he stopped giving her any money.. keeping the check book even tho she was working ... she came to me for school clothes and I was allowed.. to see the oldest grandson..but the youngest only when it was time to pick up the oldest.. it broke my heart.. she had told her sister that boyfriend was abusive that he was hitting her..that he had kicked her while pregnant with the youngest... she also stated this to a co worker at the daycare she worked at...she called once and said he had called from his job and said he was coming home and was going to beat the s..t out of her because he thought she was seeing someone else(come to find out it was he who was running around again).. we got there and he was on top of her.. and I got to him first pulling him off.. she wouldnt leave.. i cried and cried... it was like she was afraid to leave... the last straw was when my oldest grandson.. had been with me for almost 2 weeks.. and he told me he wanted to live with me.(he was six) when asked why he said i dont like them fighting all the time.. he told me of how he and his brother had watched the boyfriend beat his mother in the chest.. for correcting his son.. i asked my grandson had he ever been hurt.. he told me that he had been shoved across the room into the kitchen cabinets when he was trying to pull boyfriend off of his his mother.. my heart was broken... i immediately contacted a lawyer.. and we have been in a fighting battle since... we went to a hearing... and the judge was awarding us the grandchildren...stating he believed nothing that my daughter and the boyfriend said..he said that he belived there was abuse in the family... and then their lawyer (who we found out later was a very good friend of the jude)... asked to speak to him privately... in 5 mins... he came back and took it all away... he wasnt going to give us the kids... but he did allow us 1 weekend a month to be his"watch dogs" for the kids... i have worried and worried about the boys and my daughter... we do get the boys for that weekend and that is the ONLY time we get to see them... my daughter has not spoken to me or any of our family..we have decided to take this to a trial... as we were told that was the only way to win in this court with this judge and the lawyer they use.. I thought the courts were there to HELP the children... I just dont understand.. I very rarely sleep thru the night.. I still worry constantly about my daughter and grandchildren.. my oldest grandson who is now 7.. will not talk to me about anything at home.. and I do not push... i want him to have a place where there is no one pushing things on him..I want him to some how trust me again to talk to me.. I know he loves his mother.. and I know she has been pushing him.. and telling him what to talk about and what not to talk about ... I am just praying that this Works out for thest... I am trying to do the right thing for the right reason..for the safety for my grandchildren... and hopefully she will come to her senses.. and see that she doesnt deserve how boyfriend treats her.. I am so afraid of loosing them all completely.. and not sure how to deal with that if it should happen... just needs some input on this.. thanks...sorry if i have rambled too much
