The image of my mom falling onto concrete at 3am and no one finding her right away keeps entering my mind. I feel so ill. I called the State Department of Aging today and told them what happened. I wanted to find out about the laws. Here in an Assisted Living Home it is like renting an apartment. Yet the ombudsman/woman was so shocked, I started to cry. She couldn't believe no one even took her to a doctor when she started having seizures! I left my name etc. and she is calling someone in my mom's town. Now< i am so afraid that my dad will find out and disown me. It seems to be his way or no ones way. I talked to him today and he seemed back in control of making comments to me about how to live my life. I just am pleasant and don't make waves. I am glad I have this site where I can write about this. Otherwise, I am sure I would be more of a mess than I am already. My brother and his wife NEVER! called to make sure she was okay until a week after they heard she was having siezures! That doesn't surprise me. They live far away, but do have their own cell phones, never had kids and have a very active fun life. AT least I saw it on Facebook and that made me very angry. I am so full of anger, I just can't stand it! There are just too many things in life we have no control over. But, to not get my mom medical care is one of the worst I can think of now! Thanks for any supportive replies back. cdb
Cdb...you've got so so much going on....but your headed in the right direction...good for you....listen, when this woman calls you back, you should tell her the story of your father and how your hands are tied...tell her what your going thru and ask her for help....tell her of your fears....about your father disowing you...and yes, you do have control.....you just have to find the proper resources...believe me, if this was happening to my mother, I wouldn't know where to begin...please don't feel bad about that....your doing the best you can.
also, to heck with your father...he is certainly not thinking of your mother's welfare....he is being not only selfish but very cruel....I'm wondering, has he been like this all his life, or do you think, he's starting with dimentia? I would tell this woman all about what your father is doing....and as far as the rest of the family is concerned, SHAME on THEM. Speak up, ask them for help....if they choose not to, then carry on....if not....so be it....but don't take this all on yourself if you don't have to.
A friend of mine, was living with and careing for his mother...he has two adult sisters...one is always fighting the other....so he left, and said, "They have to assume responsibility for her, they both live within a block of her and they should be there helping her". I agree....the longer he stayed the less they did....
So, carry on with this woman, and ask her if there are any other resources available to you, and explain to her, that your hands are tied, because of your father...and you don't know what to do? Ask her for options...I'm certain she's seen this before....
remember, things seem scarey, until we educate ourselves and find out there are other options...but at the time these things are happening, we think we're alone, and we become so afraid....remember, knowledge is power....and will help you thru this....and in the meantime....big hugs....
Your a great lady!!!! Don't you forget it!!!!!
