CDB, very good thread...
the last time my family was here, I thanked my DIL for making my son so happy...and yes, she is a good mother, I'm very proud of her, and she is fun to be around...great sense of humor and I really like her stubborness...meaning, there isn't anything she couldn't accomplish if she'd put her mind to it. I've watched her mature a great deal over the years...what a big difference...she is a lady, and I don't mean by the way she dresses, she could wear rags, and take off all that make up and she would still come across as a lady....She is not nearly as insecure, she has grown a great deal...I also enjoy her ability to look deeper into situations...how she studies situations and holds true to her personal instutions...she won't compromise her identity for acception, approval or otherwise....a trait to be admired...I think my son, lucked out...period...
I think she is way ahead of me, then I was, at that age...and I'm very pleased with her...
Why do you think our son's get so upset, when there are problems between DIL/MIL. It's because we are saying to them, we dont' approve of the love of his life...it would make them bubble with joy if they knew we approved...and DIL feels our misgivings...we project energy that is negative, when we don't like something or someone and DIL/MIL picks up on that, so yes, indeed, compliments would go a long way...but they cannot be fake, and that is where new conditioning comes in...our DIL's may not do things the way we did them, however, that doesn't mean they are wrong and we were right....times change...and so does the way society think, along with pediatricians, and how protective a young mother is with her children....she's allowed....it's her time to live, her time to learn how to be a mother, and her turn....
My son used to tell me a lot that he was glad I was strict, and a good mom....and it sure does make you feel good....so why wouldn't it make anyone else feel delightful, pick up they're day...yanno, I just thought of something we mother in laws could do sometime, when the time is right...send a thank you note to DIL, saying...."I know I haven't always agreed with you, and we have surely had our differences and I'm sorry for that, however, I wanted to let you know, that I'm glad son met you, and thankful for all you do for son and grand children....your a good mom....wife and friend to me...thank you for everything".
I've seen over the years, how some DIL's come in and speak about how much they loved they're mil's....it's really nice....and a great honor to have that...
I also think by reconditioning ourselves to look for the good would certainly help alot...I was told, (during the time when DIL and I were not hitting it off) that every single day, I should say a prayer, a good prayer for the both of them, and then say over and over again, "I love you, I love you" Yanno, over time, that sure helped make a differece.
