My heart goes out to you!! My daughter has said mean, cruel things to me before the birth of my newest granddaughter, born a little over 2 weeks ago. She has her boyfriend believing everything she has told him about me. Her first daughter (2 and 1/2) is living with the new boyfriend too, but he is being a very good provider and is very loving to my daughter and both children.
My counselor has me waiting for my daughter to call me first...which has been very difficult, but is helping. I counted the 9 days I waited until my daughter called to say they were coming over to my house,, only one hour notice! I have a baby shower with the boyfriend's family on Saturday and my counselor told me to just be ME. My friends like me, other people that meet me like me, etc. Hopefully, the boyfriend's family will learn to accept me and not totally believe the things she has told them.
I am hurting so badly now reading these posts, but I too need help. I was there for the birth of her first daughter and they lived with me for 3months. Now, I hardly get to see her and she and I were very close. She does know how to press a button on my daughter's cell phone to call me and she does it without her mommy knowing! That touched my soul that she wanted to talk to me.
My daughter has mood swings and according to my counselor will always (things in her past). I just have to accept this and go with the flow. And,, I need to do what is good for ME. I even realized one day, my daughter noticed a change in me and she acted a little jealous. I think once they see us taking care of us and see that we have our friends and another life, they may gain a new respect for us. Just a guess, but I am going to continue trying this. She has her new family now and I cannot control or change her. All, I know is I feel she is a spoiled brat! And I did not raise her that way. Again, it hurts more than I can explain, but I know you know how much this hurts.
I feel your daughter will sway back and forth with the boyfriend and you. I have seen my friend's daughters do that. Do find things for you to do. I even go out of the house just so my family knows I went somewhere, even though I had no where to go. I started dressing better etc. And it does help to Act As IF you are happy. There just has to be something about some mother/daughter relationships where there is always some kind of struggle. Although, I have a spouse who mistreats me and was told she learned to mistreat me by watching him do it and by my never leaving him.
Whatever the reasons, we need to take care of us. I will keep up with your posts seeing how things go so I can learn too. AGain, my heart goes out to you and I do feel your pain. cdb
