I am on to Chapter Two.........the Chapter of my life where I don't wait for a wedding to happen. I did not attend my son's wedding, I wasn't invited. It's been difficult from time to time to feel the rejection of being left out but I remembered so many days of his life that were important when he was young, when I WAS there. Many times before the age of about 16, his father never showed up for anything but I never missed a thing. There was a certain relief in knowing that the day was finally behind me, and I wondered at different times of the day, what were they doing and how did it go. My blood pressure stayed in the close to normal range and I didn't find myself anywhere near a hospital. I feel that I've extended my life expectancy by putting myself first and I'm happy with that.
I don't know for sure if the wedding took place, I assume it did because I didn't hear anything so that "officially" makes me a MIL. I'm starting a new acronym - "MILD" which stands for "Mother In Law, Distant" (as in not in touch with the "kids").
If I wasn't invited to the wedding it's because they chose who to invite and didn't chose me. I respected their choices and didn't protest, and don't see myself being a part of their life in the future.
I'm happy the date of the wedding is behind me, I started moving on with my life some time ago and I know that the days where profound sadness would hit me are done. I think the wedding date is like a type of "Finish Line" for me. I'm finished with thinking or dwelling or feeling guilty or trying to figure out two adults who don't want me to be a part of their life.
This site has been a huge factor in my ability to batten down the hatches against the hurricane of guilt, hostility and "try as they might" manipulation.
To Luise, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
