Boundaries

[Alicev]

This is a site about setting personal boundaries, what it is and how it can be done. Very helpful and necessary skill in protecting the self and staying true to oneself.


http://www.joy2meu.com/Personal_Boundaries.htm

[luise.volta]

Very Helpful! Many of us were raised by role models without boundaries. It was what females were and did. Since we establish most of our values by age seven, much of this may be written i a foreign language. Thank you!

[Pen]

Thank you, Faith. I learned a lot from the article.

The line regarding the use of boundaries to manipulate others helped me understand why I had an almost instant reaction to the concept of "boundaries" as discussed on this site a few months ago; there's a big difference between protecting ourselves and controlling others.

[miss_priss]

You said it Pen. 

[Alicev]

This excerpt is important in saying what setting a boundary is and what it isn't:

Setting a boundary is not making a threat - it is communicating clearly what the consequences will be if the other person continues to treat us in an unacceptable manner.  It is a consequence of the other persons behavior.

Setting a boundary is not an attempt to control the other person (although some of the people who you set boundaries with will certainly accuse you of that - just as some will interpret it as a threat) - it is a part of the process of defining ourselves and what is acceptable to us.  It is a major step in taking what control we can of how we allow others to treat us.  It is a vital step in taking responsibility for our self and our life.

Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation - although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in fact they are attempting to manipulate.  The difference between setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is:  when we set a boundary we let go of the outcome.

[cremebrulee]

Faith, this is an awesome site...thanks so much....

[Faithlooksup]

Hi Everyone,  There is also a book out called~~Boundaries By: Henry Cloud & John Townsend.  Which I just bought off of Ebay and am looking forward to receiving.  For I have heard this is an excellent book.