I found this website by accident and I am so happy I did. I thought I was going to die of a broken heart on the 4th of July. Again, I continue to try to be a part of my adult children's lives and again they treat me so badly. Yesterday was the Straw that Broke the Camel's (Mom’s heart) back. I am invited to my children's home for the Holiday's and again, I sit like a fool in a corner while everyone ignores me. I try to strike up a conversation with my children (ages 30, 28, 23), their significant others and significant others family members and am repeatedly ignored. I drive 300 miles each way to visit. First my son (now 28 and his family are starting to come around, but I see it in their eyes. A few years ago, my youngest daughter was graduating from High School. At the time of her graduation, my husband and I drove from San Francisco to Seattle, just to get a last minute call from my daughter and her brother tells her that if my husband and I attend, then he will not bring his family. Again, I make the decision to not attend. My daughter had to choose, and she chose her brother. We turned around and drove back to San Francisco and I cried for 3 days.
Under false hopes, I give up a good job to move to Seattle to be closer to my children and grandchildren. I have a very special relationship with my 5 grandchildren. Again I am invited to over for the holidays and again, I sit in a corner like a fool.
Last year, my daughter got into a relationship with a boy that was just no good for her. He and his brother got her addicted to Oxycontin, she became very addicted to the drug that she actually started going to the doctors just to get the drug. She stole $10,000 from my ex husband (he forgave her) and her boyfriend stole a few hundred dollars from another one of my daughters. Once the Dr. realized that she was addicted, he cut her off. The boyfriends brother stole a Dr.’s prescription pad and had my daughter go from pharmacy to pharmacy to get the drugs. She was finally busted and ended up going to jail and she ended up getting a felony. She was not able to get employment and needed a car. My ex husband called me and told me that our daughter needed a car and as a mother, I needed to help her out. I was pressured. I made a bad decision and I bought her a car with the condition that she makes a monthly payment. I even covered her insurance. My current husband of 19 years was furious with me because we were only going to buy her a car for about $3000 to $4000. Instead, I ended up buying her a $13,000 car. She was to start working for her father and work for about $500 a week, plus she was living on her father’s property. He farms so there are additional homes for farmhands so she and her boyfriend move in and do not have to pay rent nor utilities. 3 Months later after not receiving a car payment, I called her and told her she needed to make some kind of a payment. She told me to F*&* Off. I was furious so I drove to her home and collected the car.
Yesterday, on the 4th of July, my husband and I went to the BBQ. When I started talking to my daughter-in-laws mother, she totally ignored me (I think my kids have badmouthed me behind my back). I left without letting anyone know and a few minutes later, I started getting calls from my daughter (which I am paying for her daughters day care), in her voice mail and text, she wanted to know if I was upset, she tried call at least 4 times (I never answered her call or responded to her text). She finally told me since I did not answer her; we would not call again until I was ready to talk to her.
To be honest, I have no plans to call back, I have no plans to continue to make daycare payments, and I have no plans on sending Birthday cards. Even though I hurt, like I have never hurt before, I claim yesterdays (4th of July) my independence day.
