Nursing Home Woes

[Julia]

So true, we need to look after number one.  I wish I could practice what I preach.  I am however making small steps in a positive way.   Reading these posts is empowering
cheers

[luise.volta]

You're right...we empower each other! 

[Hope]

Hi Hope, Wonderful to have you back! 

I am starting to feel a little better since I cut my nursing home visits from twice a day down to once a day. Val hasn't seemed to notice. I was pouring all of what little energy I had into it and had nothing left for healing. It's a very slow process but I am starting to take walks and have cleaned up my diet appreciably. I came dangerously close to the edge of the point of no return...care-giver-wise. Denial is a deadly thing...

Luise, yes you do sound better - any progress at all is in the right direction.  I think you are going to be fine in time - and I am so happy for you (and us).  The positive change in your diet alone will make you feel better.  I'm very thankful that you were able to catch yourself before it was too late.  You are an amazing woman and I look up to you so much!
Hugs, Hope

[kathleen]

Glad to hear you are caring for yourself, Luise.  You ARE Number One---but also will be better with Val if you are energized.

Thinking of you,

Kathleen

[luise.volta]

Thank you. It's a slow process for both of us. I will recover to a great degree, Val won't.  He is still aware of my daily visits and peaceful. I could be a lot worse.

[Pen]

You've taught me a lot about acceptance, Luise. It's been difficult for me because I have a great need for justice, and life is frequently not fair
But I've learned so much from everyone here, and I do feel deeply changed, finally, after all these months!

I'm glad Val is at peace and well cared for; you, too. Happy healing!

[luise.volta]

Thanks, Pen. It sounds so easy, having things be the way they are...how else could they be, right? It's not easy, of course. Yet, I can feel the peace in your post. Peace is priceless. Sending love...

[Hope]

Peace is what I want for all of us.  I understand Pen's desire for justice.  I think when you do what you know is right, it's normal to want things to be fair.  I'm happy you are feeling better, Pen.  Being here with everyone's support and wisdom has also helped me, but I'm still a work in progress for sure.
Hugs, Hope

[Pen]

Hope, it's good to hear from you. My progress is herky-jerky these days, but I keep moving on. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Hope]

That's all we can expect.  Keep moving on and hopefully making progress - even if it's in baby steps.
Luise, I hope this day has brought you some smiles.
Hugs, Hope

[luise.volta]

Thanks for asking. My daily trips to nursing to see Val are hard but that's how it is. He is OK. Just incredibly tired.

[Hope]

My heart is with you, Luise.  I can imagine how much energy you are expending with your daily visits to the nursing home and hope you are remembering to treat yourself to some luxuries.  What are some things you love to do in your leisure time?
Hugs, Hope

[luise.volta]

I talk every night with an old boyfriend from when I was 15 who lives in Michigan. (We are now 83 and 85.) His wife went into nursing the day after Val did and then passed away two months later. The four of us got together when Val and I went back there in 1995 for my 50th high school reunion. 

My son, Kirk, and his wife are here for the summer because they don't like the weather where they live...Kauai. So they come by and that's great. I power-walk 10 minutes a day trying to get my strength back after 12 years of care giving and burning out. And I have my two wonderful Websites!! 

[Sunny1]

Oh my luise,
I just read this thread, and wow, your strength and diligence is amazing. 

[cremebrulee]

luise.volta
I talk every night with an old boyfriend from when I was 15 who lives in Michigan. (We are now 83 and 85.) His wife went into nursing the day after Val did and then passed away two months later. The four of us got together when Val and I went back there in 1995 for my 50th high school reunion. 

It must be very comforting to have this man to relate to...it sure must help....I'm so glad you have him there for you and you for him.  It helps to know someone is going thru the same thing.  Two of my friends lost they're husbands...we were scheduled to go out to dinner togehter shortly after the one of them lost her companion...I was to tired and felt, maybe they needed some alone time together to relate....guess what, the next day, the one told me, that they talked for hours comparing feelings and other things relating to they're losses.  I was so glad I didn't go...as they may not have expressed they're feelings and gotten as much out...soo, Louise, this is very good for both of you...God bless you all....it's very hard to go thru this...God bless you..

My son, Kirk, and his wife are here for the summer because they don't like the weather where they live...Kauai. So they come by and that's great. I power-walk 10 minutes a day trying to get my strength back after 12 years of care giving and burning out. And I have my two wonderful Websites!!

Its nice to have family around for a while, and when they leave it's nice to...
I kinda find that refreshing and it seems we appreciate each other more and tend to respect boundaries more...?  But that is just me, it is nice, the visits are more important and paramount....and the time they are there goes so fast...these are great things in our lives, aren't they....?  Do you feel the same way about the visits?  I dunno, I just think its healthier for all concerned...but that is just me...

I think it is wonderful you keep so active and walk, it is so necessary...one of my friend is 82 and she works, walks and keeps very active...and finds the time to read...we are planning a vacation together....she's a wonderful gal....and very sharp...Luise....good happens to good people...and I suspect, you have been a blessing to many all your life....thank you so much for helping us.

Hugs
Creme