Good suggestions. Together and alone, we have both tried to have a conversation with her like you are stating, and pretty much said all those things. She has no desire to listen or try to hear, but is only interested in what she wants.
So frustrating because we know as parents, she is a train wreck waiting to happen. When she has to face life in the real world, she is going to faced with a rude and painful awakening.
Have you ever met someone that takes on the personality of those around her? She was dying to see the movie Avatar when it came out. So we had her on that weekend and took her. She spent the entire evening talking about how great the movie was. Then two weeks later, when we had her, I brought up the fact that we were going to have to buy the movie when it came out and she yells, "Why? That's the most stupid, overrated movie." My DH and I both looked at her in shock and said, "Wait, we thought you said you loved it after we took you?" She said, "No, my friends pointed out to me how much hype surrounded it and how stupid it was and I agree." And it is like that with everything. She will like a song, or a TV show one weekend, and then when we would get her next, her opinion had changed because so and so said.....
After hearing this several times, we had a conversation with her about being herself. That she needed to base her opinions on what she thought, not what her friends thought. She was completely argumentative and got all defensive. The same way she is acting over us attending band things and how "we" think having parents there is stupid.
I'm not blaming other people for her actions, it is her decisions but it is like she relies on what her friends think to decide what she thinks??? Does that make sense?
