never gonna be easy.......

[Freeasabird]

my son turns before he slams the door
his handsome face twisted in scorn
im leaving thats all
the last words i heard him call
someone had come between us
stealthily surely convinced him of my crime
someone vengeful full of hate
who knew his trusting mental state
i cried but he was
like stone
it was never gonna be easy he mumbled as he
walked away
like hed planned this hurtful hateful day
two years and i miss him so i will love for ever
my heart cant let go
i will say his name with my last breath 
though he will never know

[luise.volta]

I need someone to follow that with a poem about hope and recovery...(am I a Pollyanna?)

[Pen]

Free, I'm so sorry you are in such pain. I re-read your previous post about your daughter influencing your son against you and my heart breaks for the anger, sadness and desperation all of you must be feeling right now. I hope you can get some help so you can get through this intact. You can learn to be OK without people in your life who have moved on, even if right now it seems impossible. Sending hope and {{hugs}} your way.

Luise, I'm sorry I don't have a poem.

[luise.volta]

Pen - It would be fun if someone made one up. Before and after letting go? Something like that. Sending love...

[Freeasabird]

Sorry that was miserable iJust had to put it out i know i lived before them and i will live afterbut its Like that bond Like when a marriage breaks up i think usmothers bond so deep course our kids outgrow us they have their own lives

[luise.volta]

We need to do that...put it out there feel it and move through it. If we don't vent we eventually explode or get sick from what we have bottled up. We just need to let go...get past it...and not get stuck there. It can smoother us. Sending love...

[Freeasabird]

Thanks Luise i have been very ill very depressed only just emerging now and feeling drained dont know how i am going to find energy from but must get my head on top of the rejection etc

[Pen]

Yes, Free, you must find a loving, positive way to affirm your existence as a woman, a mother, friend, creative spirit, kind heart or whatever fits. As someone said here on this site, "I was fine before I had kids and I'll be fine without them." It doesn't mean the hurt magically disappears or that your years of mothering are wiped away, just that you can find yourself again without having to base your self worth on someone else's opinion of you. I hope you rediscover wonder, joy and fulfillment. Who knows what can happen from there? Best wishes.