See, that is how I am. Why is this happening? We are getting along. I am staying out of their business, no advice/comments from me. I pared my list of invitees for the wedding down to 15 so the exes family could attend. I said nothing. I was a good mil to be.
I was hurt when she ripped my son's baby book apart to get pics for her little placard at the wedding cake table. I told them there are doubles of these pics in the box you have in the storage. (Why go to the storage when you can just take them out of the book?) Well, I did hand the book to them. But it hurt. (she told me they were removed from the baby book). Never said a word to them. Were they put back?? None of my business anymore.
The not being invited to the bachelorette made me begin to analyze. All the "things" said/done to me, my soninlaw, husband, daughter -- our pets, by them. Now EVERYTHING is mean spirited to me. No more coincidences.
The engagement announcement bridey put in our local paper had the shortened version of my name and my dh (son's stepfather who gave him a whopper of a wedding gift). And his name was also misspelled in a way to read a woman's name. Ha ha, it sounds like you are married to a woman! bridey remarks. (Contacted paper. No typo. Bride submitted those names)
Her parents - divorced - had their more full, more formal names printed in announcement.
It appeared as if it was: Joan and Jackie. When it should have been: JOHN and Jacqueline. (Not using real names) But you get the picture.
Yes, she kept laughing. I am like, what is wrong here? It is kind of mean.
So the total diss over the bachelorette didn't come as a surprise. Having a 19 year old drive (her sil to be, who is a bridesmaid) to the big city late at night at a bar/restaurant on a weekend and drive home by her self really upset me. Since there were three 50+year olds in attendance: HER MOM, HER AUNTS, why not me as well? Just for the dinner part? Or at least have the new sil to be ride with someone?? Can't for they are all going elsewhere after the dinner. ok, but what about the older women? Bridey's mom lives blocks away from me. She could drop off my daughter at my house.
I guess it took awhile for me to get a clue, huh? Even at this point I was justifying it away. There was a reasonable explanation. Then the burning--literally--and everything just began to make sense to me. Duh!! Bridey don't like me! LOL!
Hi Happy,
From a dil point of view.
Well. If I planned something like that, and I knew your daughter was going to be there I would have invited you- if you were my MIL.
Don't get mad, get even.
If you want to spend time with her, organised something yourself! maybe??-would you like to spent more time with her?
You would never know what her reasons were for the dinner, and who's idea it was, and who organised it, and who even - maybe- told her you would not like to be there??
Maybe the best way to handle a situation, is not to get mad, not to argue and not to make assumptions. I would have phoned my DIL and asked her if I could organise a kind of dinner party for her, and then name everyone-including her own mother you would like to invite, and tell her that you want to spend special time with her as well.
DIL and MIL should really start speeking their minds, because all of these issues just builds up and up and up over the years, and it gets pretty ugly.
Maybe it is just evil and pittyful and sad, the way she is acting, but don't let it get you under! Just keep your side clean!Just posting on this website means you have a good heart and that you sincerely cared, otherwise you would not have been hurt by everything.
(and regarding the baby photos you talked about- I kindly asked my MIL if I could have just one of my hubby's baby pictures- she blatantly just said no- this really hurt my feelings, after a few years I asked her again, because I though: she couldn't be THIS abscessed with her son and evil?? COULD SHE?? NOT allowing me even 1 picture? well, I asked again and she just laughed and walked away- hiding all the photos from me. Can you Imagen that?)
(and regarding the name that was printed incorrectly, well my MIL/FIL wrote their son a card, after 2years of being married, and they spelt my name wrong, terribly wrong. how sad is that???)
