Thanks guys, I am feeling like a miniseries right now but finding this extremely therapeutic. I don't think I have ever sat down and went thru the entire thing in sequence. When you are in the middle of it, it kind of all blurs together.
Ok, I will give you part two but answer your questions first. There was no husband in the Mother's life. Yes, over the last 3 years we have come to realize the Mother has SERIOUS mental issues. The daughter unfortunately has been affected tremendously by her Mother throughout her life but has blinders on. In her eyes, there is nothing wrong with her Mother and everyone else is lying. But you will see as I get further along, the daughter has taken after her.
Personally, this all started in October of 2007. I had been married for 20 years. I thought I had a solid marriage. Not perfect, but good. In February, in the middle of all this, he announced that he was moving out and then 2 days later, moved his 27 year old girlfriend in with him. I am not sure now if the stress of the pregnancy led him to do what he did, but he wasn't handling the situation well. He wanted my son to just walk away and be done with it. That caused some major arguments between us during those few months. So, I was also dealing with his leaving me for a younger woman in the middle of this. BUT, before anyone starts feeling sorry for me....DON'T. If he had not done what he did, I would not have met the most wonderful man in the world last year and married him in the fall. At the time, it was devastating to me but now, I am very thankful. God works in mysterious ways......
Part II
Well needless to say, I couldn’t control my anger at this. I immediately called her and confronted her. She denied the entire incident and said he was making things up. She also denied all the rest except for the part about she couldn’t come to our house. “Well, you know what. I raised him to do the right thing and he is trying. But because of your threats to his life, he will no longer be allowed around you. And if I hear of you threatening my son again, I will call the police and have it reported.” Then I hung up. I knew I was probably sealing my son’s fate in regards to the daughter and their baby, but I could not allow his life to be put in danger. I told him that when he got to school the next day, he needed to seek out XXXXX and explain what had happened. He had never told her about anything her Mother had been doing to him because he said, I quote, “I know she has enough to handle with being pregnant and I don’t want to cause her any more stress.” Bless him, he has such a big heart.
Well, I am sure you can guess what happened. When he talked to her at school the next day, she didn’t believe him. She kept saying her Mother would never do those things and that her Mother had warned her that he would try to create something so it would be her fault that he abandoned her! I had never realized until this moment how cruel someone could be. She literally had just set up my son. He tried to reason with her but she just said, “If you wanted out, all you had to do was say so.” He told me he pleaded with her to understand and that he didn’t want out. He loved her and wanted to be there for her and the baby. She wouldn’t listen and over the next few weeks, wouldn’t even look at him. He was so pitiful. He continued to work and put money in the bank and we started buying things for the baby. I purchased two of everything. Two strollers, two playpens, outfits, toys, etc. We kept putting one set aside with intentions of giving them to her either if she decided to come back into his life, or after the baby was born. But he walked around in a fog and so depressed. I kept telling him that hopefully she would come around and if not, we would do whatever we had to, to see his child. We saw a Lawyer who said she would take on the visitation case, but that she couldn’t start anything until the child was born.
We lived in a small town, so gossip runs rampant. We had people that kept us updated on everything without us even having to ask. I can’t tell you how many people came up to us and said, “You know her mother is physco?” I felt so sorry for XXXXX having to live in that environment, but she had been so brainwashed by her mother that she truly believed everything her mother was telling her. I found out that her father had left when XXXX was two because he couldn’t handle her physcotic rages any longer. Her story was that he beat her and was abusive to them. I have no idea which one is the truth, but from my experience with her, I would tend to believe his story. Regardless of which one is true, apparently the mother decided then that all men were evil. I found out she had never even been out on a date in 14 years and had pretty much made the daughter her life. That explained much of what was going on, but it was still terrible to watch my son mope around when he had been such a happy person.
Fast forward to the birth. A week prior, my son ran into XXXXX and begged her to let him know when she was in labor, so he could come. She told him that her mother had already said if “anyone” from our side showed up, she would cause a scene and have them thrown out. She wouldn’t even tell him how anything was going. A week later, my son gets a text message with a picture on his cell phone. It was his daughter! One of HER relatives had taken the picture in the nursery and sent it to him with a message that said, “I have never agreed with how they treated you, so I thought you had a right to know. Please don’t tell them where you got it.” He was so excited but so sad. He rushed to my work to show it to me and we cried together because we wanted to hold her so bad. But at least we knew she was here and healthy.
The next day, we were sitting in the Lawyer’s parking lot at 8 a.m. And so the battle began…….
