Should I call Childrens Protective Services?

[Didi.lost]

HI

I have heard some upsetting stories about how my GS 6 yrs old has been living.  My DD seems
to be drinking a lot of the time and has gotten drunk during a weekday and was so lost when it came time to pick him up from school was going to walk there and get him cause she couldn't find
her car.  thank goodness for that.  My OGD called my son to help.  My GS father has noticed things too and wants me to help get his son for him.  He can't get full custody without some help.
I don't want to have to be the one to have her child taken from her but I am worried about my
GS a lot in a party house with drinking all the time.  The father says he is having trouble in school and is very unsettled when he picks him up for his visit.  I know she swears at the poor little guy and throws whatever food at him and will let him go anytime to anyone practically so she doesn't have to watch him and she can drink even more.  The guy she is living with now is a very heavy drinker too, so I'm worried what's going on over there since I have been not allowed accessibility anymore.  What do you think?

[pam1]

Welcome Didi.lost

Please read the three threads in the category Open Me First.  We ask all new members to do so not b/c there is anything wrong with your post.

Just to clarify, your DD and the father of the grandchild are not together?  If so maybe he has a better idea of what's going on and talking to him might clarify the situation for you a bit more so you have a better idea of what to do. 

Glad you found us.

[JaneF]

I agree with Pam.  Try talking more to the childs father, get a bit more info to clarify what may be going on at that house. Perhaps the father could speak with the school as well to see if they have noticed anything, or talk to the school counselor and request they talk with child? But there may be concern enough after gathering a bit more data to warrant a call to CPS. I'd rather make the call than not make the call, so if something were to occur you will know you did everything to try to get help here. I so feel for your situation and hope you can have some peace very soon. Keep us posted, I for one would like to know how things are going for you and the grandchildren. Take care of yourself as well during this process!!!  J

[lancaster lady]

hi Didi ,

I feel your pain ....how helpless you must feel .
I think if the child's father were to gather all the information and school reports he can ,
he should have a good case to gain total access to his son .
Is there a reason why he can't gain full custody ?
The sooner he acts , the better .
I really feel for this little guy living a nightmare , he needs all the help he can get .
If all else fails , I certainly would report your DD .

[Didi.lost]

Thank you
Yes, have spoken to the father.  There are concerns from him and the school.  He is going to get a counsellor to speak to my GS.  Also my GS never wants to go back to his mother now after being with his father. He begs and pleads not to go there. Red flag there something is wrong.  Going to see what the counsellor has to say, then go from there.  GS ok for now, with his dad.
DD only cares about the support money not my GS, so she will fight to the end, and she lets the father take him whenever he wants (which is good for my GS). DD evens calls the father at work 1000 miles away to come get this kid. He works out of town. I could kick her right in the you know what....and she says I'm the terrible mother. 
The father has my GS 70% of the time already.  Well we will see what will happen soon.

[firelight]

If he has his son more than 70% of the time already, he shouldn't have to pay child support.  I know that if they are splitting the time up more equally, neither parent pays the other.......at least in Michigan.  My SIL just went through that with the mother of 1 of his sons.  He had him at least 50% and usually more of the time and she still wanted child support....the court said, no.  No one pays if his time is split up like that.

I hope this works out for your GS very soon.  Kids really get the short end of the stick in these situations. 

Do what you feel you need to do.  If GS dad is involved, maybe you won't have to call CPS.  I actually did that with my own DD and it is a very sad thing to have to do.  They don't rush in and snatch up the child unless they find an emergency situation to which they will try to place the child with family first.  But CPS (in my experience) may offer resources to the couple first.  I doubt the drinking will stop unless they want it to stop.  Doesn't sound likely at the present time from what you said.  Sometimes CPS intervention gets the parents' attention though to straighten up to at least try to get help for their addiction.

I think if it were me, I'd hold off for a sec on CPS since GS's dad is in the picture for the time being.   Maybe he can take the reigns now. Only you know though what you should do and the situation here.  It's always sad when there are parents who only want their children for the money's sake. 

[Didi.lost]

Yes I am going to leave it up to the father for now.  He is taking care of it if he can get
some answers and things done.  It is very sad to say some things are only about money.  Where
is her heart.  It's all mixed up in this new guy.  Terrible.  Well we will make sure GS is well
taken care of that's for sure.  He comes first in my books.
Thanks for all your inputs.

[nikncon]

Dear Didi.lost,this little boy is very lucky to be living with his loving Gm.Hope everything goes well and quickly to get the other child out of that place.Thinking of you.