Artlady, I don't think you can DO much or anything with this situation. Having walked many miles in your shoes, I can also now safely say that it just isn't your role to do anything. DD is an adult and has made her own choices, and your role is just to be close by to give love and support when you're called on to do so, and when there is silence, to respect that the married couple are in their own space and working on their own problems in their own way, because they are a unit now. DD is no longer just yours, but she is part of a family of her own. I know we have a hard time with this, but we don't have any choice if we're going to have any quality of life, but to accept that we now ride in the back seat, we aren't driving the car any more. Your time will come as the baby pulls out of this stage, and happy days will be ahead when you can indulge in being a grammie and evolving into a new role. Whether or not DD remains in this marriage is her own business, she is free to stay or to go. She is even obviously educated and able to provide for herself if she should choose. I think you are stressed out, and very fragile emotionally because the birth of a baby is huge and its so easy to get all wrapped up in it. I think if I were you, I'd get myself involved in something new, whether it be a class or a book club or a new sport, just anything to distance yourself from preoccupation over this problem. Because you are powerless to make any change there. You are projecting yourself into your DD's place, and it may not be accurate, she is younger and stronger than you and has more internal resources to deal with the challenges of a challenging infant. Trust me, I walked that road for 13 years with my DD, in constant anguish and turmoil over her marital situation. I would say go, she would say no can't. I would say stay, she would say she couldn't stay and had to go. It went on like that forever, then in the midst of my sleepless nights and torture, they would take a vacation together and send back a postcard. Finally, DD made her own decision to leave the marriage, when she was good and ready. Not that its been smooth, but I had to learn that I'm not God and I can't order the universe to suit her, or any of my loved ones.