I don't want you to get the idea that this family member is some kind of trouble-maker.
SDIL told my son's girlfriend at a party at my house when she had too much to drink. My son's girlfriend is my grandson's mother and my future daughter in law, and I would trust her with my life. I know her to be a very straightforward and drama free person. That's why I believe her.
She has no reason to make that up. She barely even knows this girl. She had simply asked SDIL if she and her husband were planning to have a family soon, and her response was, "Don't tell my husband but I can't have children."
She told me the next day because she was so shocked, and wondered if someone should tell my husband's son. I don't believe she in any way was trying to be unkind, or that there was a spirit of gossip in her telling me. She was genuinely concerned about the fact that this girl was keeping a pretty big secret from her husband. She didn't want to get involved either. I think she passed it on to me hoping I would know how to deal with it.
Regardless, true or not, I'm now feeling much better about it not being my duty to deal with anything, and thank you all for helping me see that. I can see how my concern would be twisted up and before you know it, I'm public enemy number one and a meddling evil step monster. Yikes. What was I thinking?