You guys crack me up. Doe, she had to ask permission due to her being in High School and living with us. The deal was when she came to live with us, there is a man (I say that with sarcasm) involved. Her inappropriate behavior involved him, in her M's house when she was still 17 and he's 26. A "friend" of theirs that they invited to stay over a couple of weekends while he was in town. We didn't find out about it until she turned 18, 2 months later when they called in hysterics and said they couldn't deal with her. I'm not going to get into details, as you guys can use your imagination, but it was bad. I think he's preying on girls on the internet, can't prove it and it's just our feelings. But, according to her, she's in luuuuvvvv. In her head, she really is. Who knows, we could be totally wrong about him, but right now....not the ideal circumstance in our brains and I have no respect for him.
Child services and Law Enforcement got involved but since she had turned 18, nothing we could do. She has a full ride to a college in our state (about 2 hrs away), but when she came to us, she told us she wants to go to college in NY. Hmmm, and where does guy live? So we talked and talked to her about it, him and anything else we could think of to no avail. So we finally told her that she was 18, she could do what she wanted, but we would not help facilitate or financially support her going to a NY college. She had to do it on her own. So taking her up there to see is out of the question. We will not do anything to help her with it.
I'll give you another laugh this morning so you know what we are dealing with as far as how stupid she thinks we are. When we asked, "Why NY?" (We knew the answer but wanted to give her an opportunity to explain). Her answer? She hates the South. It's too hot and the people are rude and stupid. She only likes cold weather is why NY. Now, she bundles up her and is cold all the time when its 40 degrees. Complains constantly about being cold. (insert eye roll here)
We tried everything we could think of because it's totally about the guy whom she has spent two weekends with. We offered Chicago, it's cold there. We offered alternative after alternative and there was a reason that none of them would work for her. I offered a college in Ohio that has an excellent program for her field of choice. Her reason that it wouldn't work? She hates Ohio. "So you've been there?" "Well, we drove through there when I was 8 and I hated it!"
She may have found an apt. on line for $200 a month, that the pictures and ad looks wonderful. You guys all know, like we do, it's either a scam, rat/roach infested closet-size or many people like you said. Oh, but no. It's fabulous!
Part of her major problem is her mouth, disrespect and name-calling. Her conditions for living with us were "none of that" or their will be consequences. She treats people like crap if they don't agree with her and give her what she wants. Like I said, we know she is gone as soon as she graduates. She's applied for at least 8 different colleges up there. I hold little hope that she will get accepted or get full rides there. She will not be able to use our state's Hope money if she goes out of state, which will literally pay for her college here. Her conditions also included that we wouldn't facilitate anything to do with the guy. No, he could not visit. No, we didn't want to talk to him. She pays for her own cell phone (her only bill), so we don't stop that communication because we also are not stupid and knew she would just borrow friends computers, phones, whatever to stay in contact with him. It's the best we could do so hopefully she would stay and finish High School at least.
Luise, you are right. There is no horrible scenario we haven't imagined. We both know what she faces and all we can do is let her go after she graduates.
