Hi City Girl,
I know how you feel. Why, my very first post here was entitled, "Am I the only one who's angry?" I absolutely was angry that my DS would dare to treat me so badly. Just like you, I thought we had a great relationship. We did so many things together. I thought that as we would always be close. Yep, he even told me when I was older I would live with him...I thought he treasured me as much as I treasured him....NOT!!!
When I found out how he truly felt about me, the things he said about me, and finally the way he treated me I was very hurt but that hurt was filled with ANGER!!!! Was he kidding me?
Just like you, I'd done nothing to deserve this. DS made stuff up! Which really ticked me off more.
We've made some progress. He said some things that acknowledge the error of his ways. Do I forgive him? Sure. That's what mothers do. Do I trust him? Will I ever feel the same about him? Nope. NEVER. I saw him turn..I've seen the evil..I know what he's capable of. I will never be vulnerable to him again. I was blindsided before. My eyes are wide open now.
Sending you hugs...
Obital- that was just a wonderful first post. I am in a very similar situation as you regarding FDIL and her mother. FDIL doesn't want DS to have a relationship with his family, only hers. And yes, we've become quite insignificant in comparison. I had always imagined that when one of the boys got married we would gain a daughter. That's not what happened. It seems that we lost a son and they gained one. My son was raised being told that family is the most important thing in the world. When we had our blow up over FDIL he threw me away like used toilet paper. He said that she was his future and I was not his mother, and I should forget that he was my son. On Mother's Day I would get nothing but would later learn of what he did with her mother. Even when we were speaking. On birthdays...nothing. Xmas...nothing. But you could bet your house that he came to collect his gifts. yes....that's my DS. I'd better stop now. I'm getting angry again!