Good Morning you bunch of WONDERFUL, WISE WOMEN!!!
I have learned so much from all of you ladies. The words of wisdom, the advice and at times the constructive criticism have all helped me to reach the point where I am at today. THANK YOU!!
So anyhoo, I have learned to step back, not smother, call sparingly, not speak ill of FDIL (in fact, I also ask about her with sincere concern), and pretty much just let DS be the man he wants to be without having to check in with his mommy...and it seems to be working!!!!
I texted DS that I had picked him up a couple of very small items (and I mean close to nothing so they were no incentive for him to come over) and before I knew it he was calling saying he was at our home and asking where we were. I told him we were just finishing up shopping and would be home soon. I asked him if he needed anything and he said no, but I pushed and the only thing he requested was a bag of chips! That also made me feel good because it indicated that he didn't stop by to eat or because he needed something.
I get a text from my other DS, the one who hasn't spoken to his brother in years, telling me that DS and FDIL are here and if he should tell them to leave (he's only half kidding, lol). WHOA!!! FDIL hasn't been in my home since "the incident". I'm not sure how I feel about seeing her. I don't know if they've come over to try to talk things out or what, but I'm a little antsy about this. Had my DS not told me I would have been shocked to walk in and see her sitting on my couch.
So walk into my living room and there they are both sitting on the couch watching a game and sharing a slushie. She and I say hello and son says, "Momma!" eyes all sparkly like he's really happy to see me. He jumps up and he gives me a hug and for the first time in a long time I see someone I had thought I would never see again.....MY SON!!! I didn't feel like there was this stranger in the room that looked like my son. I saw him...the little boy that I remember loving and liking. And I saw the person who used to like me too!! That was a great feeling!
So we sat there and made small talk and was able to smile and act like nothing really terrible had happened (except for I knew and FDIL knew and although we may someday get along again, I don't think we'll ever be close). I gave DS the small items and he seemed so thrilled and thanked me as if I had even him something he always wanted.
The only someone negative part of the visit was when I brought up to FDIL that I was going to knit a blanket for the baby but wanted to wait until Feb. 2 when the sex was confirmed. DS had already told me that was the plan. FDIL knows that I would just ADORE a little girl as I never had one. She is sure the baby is a boy. I guess I did kinda say that I hope she's wrong and it's a girl and she seemed to be annoyed (I do understand that I should not have said that). Anyway, she says that they have decided to wait and be surprised. I didn't believe her for a minute and I knew it was just that she didn't want me to know. So when DS came back into the room I said so "FDIL says you guys don't want to know the sex." He looks looks surprised like this is news to him, and was about to correct this, when she says, "Remember Boobie? We said we were going to wait?" He catches on to her lie and reluctantly agrees. No biggie. I don't care what it is as long as it's healthy!
It wasn't a very long visit, which is fine by me. But it was a pleasant visit with with promise and hope that maybe we can all come together and enjoy this baby. When it was time to go DS gave me a hug and we switched roles. This time I was the one who replied, "I love you, too." because he said, "I love you. " first.
I'm looking forward to June!
Hugs,
Ladies
