I haven't visited in several days because I have been going through hell on earth.
I now have my GD. I picked up my DD a few days back and took her to a fast food place because that is the only way I could get her away from her husband. Some that have remembered my old posts know that my DD and SIL lived in a "boarding house" that looked more like a drug house to me. They also had my 1 yr old GD in there with them. I had tearfully called Child Protective Services once in the recent past and still don't know what came of that.....anyway, I was full of regret about that but no more because my gut feeling was right.
In the car I calmly and gently offered to take my GD till DD and SIL can "get it together" and I also offered to let DD come back home if she wanted to. I didn't know how she would react to the actual offer but she began to cry. She told me "I've been wanting to come home....but, Mom, I'm sick." "I need to get clean but I don't know how."
I brought my DD and GD home with me that night and then to Hospital ER to get my DD help for withdrawal symptoms. She had just did drugs that morning. I found out my DD is seriously addicted to Oxycontin (obtained on the street). On the way to ER she told me she wanted me to go in with her and since I was, she wanted me to know "there's more and it's worse" than what she just told me. She proceded tearfully to tell me she's been shooting heroin with my SIL. I can tell you next to a funeral (which I'm grateful I am not having to attend right now), this is the worse news a mother can get.
If anyone has ever held their child in their arms while they go through physical (and psychological) withdrawals from these hard core drugs knows it would not be wished on any other soul. The tears she and I have both cried in front of each other and silently in seclusion are beyond measure. The ER gave her some meds for the night to "get through" which is really antianxiety meds that barely touch the symptoms but better than nothing....then we went to an express care the next day to get her though the 10 days it took to get into rehab ...they gave her antianxiety and meds for nausea and vomiting. There are cold/hot sweats and uncontrollable shaking, uncontrollable diarrhea, also severe bone and muscle pain, but mostly bone. These withdrawals go on for many days. I never want to witness this again. The reason it's been so hard to stop the drugs is because of these hellish withdrawals that I never understood till I saw it with my own eyes.
The next night, I had to work and had to leave on my rare time I get a lunch and had to take my SIL to the ER for the same withdrawals. He did not get the pleasure of support however since I had to return to work. This is a horrible nightmare.
My daughter has admitted herself to rehab and that took time also....one has to wait for an opening that sometimes takes several days. My SIL has an appt on the 30th to go also. They must go separately because they do not allow husbands and wives to be treated at the same time (wierd). One must complete while the other waits.
I am praying AIDS or hepatitis has not been contracted and I believe this addiction will be a lifelong battle for both of them.
My gut feeling was right and I do not regret calling the child protective services now even though I don't know whatever became of that call. I know my DD did tell me while confessing and crying that "I don't want to lose my daughter."
My DD and my SIL are bags of bones as they did not eat much during the years (yes, I said "years" I found out) of using. I only noticed the changes as they both got worse in their addictions. Thank God my GD is healthy and well and nothing happened to her during this horror even though I know it is affecting her since she is now with me and my SIL's aunt back and forth...probably wondering where's mommy and daddy.
I can say even though my DD has a mind of her own, I still feel like a failure somehow.....My sensible side says she made her own choices but another side says what did I do or what didn't I do.....
I have a headache.
