There was something else you mentioned, that got me to thinking. You said, I believe, that your ds 'helps me some in my business'. I also own business, as do some other ladies here, and it is common for us to have our a/c help out. You must stop this ds from being involved in your business in any way. If he has a key, you need to change the locks. I feel you are not really on top of all the abuses that are involved with your a/c, like Sassy or one of the other ladies, I urge you to pull the plug on the finances, and get some support outside your immediate family, enough to prop you up long enough to pull back from the grown children. Bi polar is NOT a debilitating illness, there are meds and certainly means to support oneself and build a life with this condition, you are enabling this person to remain an emotional cripple, and setting her up for a life a dependency, not a good thing. I hope you will get a good counselor and detach yourself emotionally from whatever is getting your needs met by caretaking and leaning too hard on these adult children. it is not healthy for them, and certainly not for you. I think (forgive me for being harsh) that it is a cycle that all of you are feeding off of. If necessary, I'd move across the country, whatever I had to do to make it clear to them that their disdain for you and their viewing you as nothing more than an ATM, as well as your tendency to look to them to defend and validate you as a person, is over and done. Until you emotions begin to heal, you can't hold that line, but with help enlisted and a determination to stop this meaness, you can accomplish what the other mothers here have accomplished, or are moving strongly in that direction: mutual respect with adult children.
your posts were great, Sassy.
