Well guys, I feel like I've been kicked in the teeth again. I feel used and let down. I feel sad and frustrated and hurt and most of all disappointed. Yesterday evening, she met with the BF and I received a short text from her that said she was fine and was just checking in and she would see me around 11 this morning. I haven't seen or heard from her. So my only conclusion is that she was sucked right back in and now what I am realizing is that she WANTS to be there. No matter how many times she is hit, called names, accused, yelled at, threatened etc. She wants to be there. I can't imagine. I feel like this is not my daughter. It has to come from her father's side of the family because it is not my genetics that are in play here. I would have never stood for this much crud from any guy and I would have been gone. So, I'm so sad. And I'm angry that she has no brain when it comes to him. Love is blind for sure. I don't know what hold he has on her but I am sad for her. I am more sad that my GC has to witness all of this and there is another one coming. He admitted to her that he was on drugs. The devil's drug he called it. I googled it and am pretty sure I know what he was referring too. I looked up the signs and symptoms of the drug and it all fits him to a tee. I feel so defeated. The peace lasted for 13 days. I had not had one panic or anxiety attack. She and I were together all day every day. Going places, talking, laughing, getting close again. Now it's just like it was before. So, I am actively trying to find another place to live. I can not bear to hear another fight. But as long as I am here, I will call the police every single time. I told her that and told her it is not a threat but a promise that she can be assured of and it will happen. Even if this guy does a total 180. I do not ever want to be around him. I do not want to be in his presence. He is not welcome in my home or in my personal space. My whole family knows what is going on. I only had one sister that knew what I was going through but I made phone calls and let all of my sisters and my brother know the horrific things that she is going through and how it is affecting me and my husband and my son. I can only wonder what my dad would think if he were living. He was so close to my daughter. I can only imagine what my mom would say or think as well. She is 79 and has Alzheimer's. I guess it's best she not know because it would break her heart into a million pieces. I will not give up on her. I am going to continue to pray fervently for her. My whole family is. I have several different churches praying for her. I know in my soul that the Lord is going to take care of this. It's in his time and I know that but my patience has worn thin. I feel bruised and beaten. She went back to someone who never ever got the first ounce of help. He needs professional help and extensive treatment. This is something that can not be fix in a matter of days or a couple of weeks. His whole entire family has major issues. His mother is an alcoholic. His sister is a drug addict. The people that he hangs with are the same. I told my daughter that she needed to make demands. She needed to make a list of things that she could hand him with all that he would have to do and of all that would have to change in order for him and her to even attempt to work things out. I am sure that did not happen. Why?? Because she wants to be there. My husband and I brought her up right. She knows right from wrong and she knows the situation she is in is a bad one but can be ended by her. I have realized that she had no intentions of filling any paper work out and filing for custody. I have told her if she couldn't do it for herself, to do it for her children. They are powerless. They have no choice but to endure that lifestyle. I do not know what holds her there. It has to be some other reason than she loves him. She can't fix him. No one can except for Jesus and himself. He has to want to change and want it more than anyone else wants it for him. He is so arrogant and narcissistic!!! He thinks he has power and is needed by all and is so important. He is in wonder land. My plan is to just stay away. No calling, no texting her no emails to her, no face booking her. Nothing. My husband said we need to start boxing up things that we don't really need out such as pictures and etc that can go ahead and be packed. He said when we move it will be in the middle of the night. He said that she will discover it on her own and realize that her only support system and sanctuary has gone somewhere else. I think it is a good idea. I am going to be sure to tell the land lord that she needs to get an older couple in this part of the duplex. Some good people who will not tolerate the insanity and will call the police too. I am sure that the BF will feel triumphant but I don't care. I will feel peace and will be able to heal. I worry that I won't be able to be there when things are crashing down around her and that makes me feel anxious and it makes me feel scared too. But maybe that is what she needs ...for me not to be so close that she can run here and stay and use us when there are times of trouble and then run back when ever she wants. I hope I am making the right decision. My heart is crushed and my eyes are swollen almost shut from crying. I am glad that the police knows all about him and what a low life he is and that he has a criminal past. All of them think he is trash and a joke. All of them were saying how beautiful my daughter was and that she could do so much better for her self than someone of the likes of him. I think he is being watched. I pray that he is brought of his high horse. I just hope my daughter doesn't go down with him but if she does, she has no one to blame but her self. I have done all I can do. Now I am going to try to repair my life. I'm going to move. I'm going to get a part time job doing something so I won't have so much idle time on my hands. If she comes around, I am not going to shun her but she will see a change in me because a change occurred when she went back to him last night. I do not feel the same. I still love her, want her to be safe, want her to get out of there and away from him but the urgency that I felt is no longer there and my energy has been spent. I can't really explain it. Thanks to everyone for the advice and suggestions and the support. I am a stronger person since I joined this forum. I know I am not alone. I know there are mother's just like me that are going through this type of thing or much worse. I am going to fully rely on my Lord and my family to help me get through this. If she comes back again needing help, I just don't know what I will say to her or do.
