FDIL is getting to DS

[themuffin]

Hey Wise Women,

  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Hope everyone brought in the new year with optimism for a better tomorrow.  I had a very nice welcoming of the New Year with my DH and a few friends. 

   On New Year's eve I called DS and asked him to come by to pick up a little goody package.  He has told me earlier in the week that he and FDIL had no plans to ring in the new year.  So I packed some sparkling apple cider, two wine glasses and some nice chocolates that I know son like and some chocolate covered cherries that I know FDIL likes.  I couldn't believe that he actually showed up and did so in a hurry, lol.

   So I gave him the little goody bag and asked him how the baby was doing.  He replied, "It's driving me crazy!"  Ummm...."He's not even here yet, how can he be driving you crazy?"  LOL with the answer...."The baby is making her moody!!! It's driving me crazy!  One minute she's laughing, the next minute she's crying...everything I do gets on her nerves.  She doesn't like the way I smell.  She's always hungry but she hates everything we have in the house to eat.  She'll like something and I'll buy a lot of it and she'll hate it the next day.  I'm losing my mind!!!"  This tickles the heck out of me.  I tried to sound concerned.  "What makes her cry?", I asked. Him  "She cries ALL THE TIME!!! The other day I was driving and I hit a bump. She cried all the way from town to we reached home!"    This had me, DH and YB all laughing.  Not at her misery, but at DS's frustration. 

   He stayed a good little while and it was actually a nice visit.  He related a story of a fight he had at work.  Apparently, not his fault at all and no one was hurt, but he said that guy probably got a little more than he deserved because he took his frustrations out on his because he couldn't take it out of FDIL.  He said it with a grin like the cat that ate the canary.  I don't condone fighting, especially at the work place, but it was so cute that way he told it. The poor little guy messed with the wrong father to be on the wrong day!

   DS left and offered for YB to join them for the New Year.  YB reported back that FDIL used the wine glasses I had supplied and she was the only one to drink the cider and I was pleased.  She didn't phone to say "thanks", or even text a "Happy new year" back when I texted one to her, but I'm okay with that.  DS and his FOO actually had a nice little visit.  I'm feeling very optimistic about the new year!

HUGS TO ALL!!!

[Pooh]

That's great themuffin.  Knowing he came after the stuff and that DIL liked the cider and glasses is a win!  Happy New Year!

[luise.volta]

I gotta say the fact that it "tickled the heck out of you," tickled the heck out of me! Sending love...

[FAFE]

Bless his heart.  He's seeing what the real world is all about! 

[pam1]

TheMuffin, what a great idea!  I'd love if my MIL ever did a thing like that, I'm storing that away for my future as a MIL!

I have to say, I get quite a kick out of your DS.  He's never a boring one, TM!

[nikncon]

Such a cute story the muffin.Things are looking up for you.I hope that I am as lucky with my DS in 2012.We moms have to stick together.Hugs.

[themuffin]

Awww...Thanks guys for taking the time to read and reply to my little stories...

Thanks Luise for replying. Yep, I'm still tickled.  He was soooo much like the DS I used to like before all of this happened.  I think having this baby may be a very good thing. 


Hey Pooh!  I really felt good about that, too.  I would have been disappointed if FDIL had shunned my good intentions.  I think that my sending it, and her accepting it are baby steps in the right direction!


Yep FAFE, I think you are so right.  He's had a lot of growing up to do since all of this happened.  I must give him some credit.  They went from living with me to getting their own place (and a nice one at that), both working and doing all the right things for the arrival of their little one.  DS has made many positive steps in the right direction.  I'm beginning to like him again. 

Thanks Pam!  I hope that she appreciated my intentions.

Thanks Nikncon! I wish you the best of luck in this New Year as well.  And yes, we do have to stick together, which is why I LOVE this site!  I am learning that so many things are possible.  It wasn't that long ago when DS had cut me from his life, and just a few days ago he was sitting in my kitchen talking and laughing.  But best of all, at the end of our visit he said , "Bye, momma."  I said I love you, and he said he loved me, too...and he gave me a hug.  A real hug.  You know the kind where the person wraps both arms around you and gives you a squeeze that last longer then expected... That was really nice....

[firelight]

Dearest themuffin,

both of your posts made me smile and the 2nd one even brought a tiny tear to my eye with the hug.  You sound like you're doing just fine, becoming a wonderful wise woman and heading in the right direction.   I think you responded to his sharing with you excellently and somewhat humorously.

I guess we just have to wait for our AC to go through their own life changes and pull through it as we wait on the sidelines. 

I have to say when your DS said "Bye momma" I smiled again because my DD still calls me "momma" sometimes and that is just fine with me!  I love the sound of it. 

[themuffin]

Awww...Thanks Firelight!!! Have I ever told you how much I like that name?   Thanks for always offering kind words.  I wouldn't be the wise woman I am becoming today without women like you!

I agree with you.  I don't mind waiting on the sidelines.  It's far more relaxing.  When I was in the game I kept getting tackled!   Sitting in the sidelines is really not a bad place to be!

"Momma", there's something about that word.  I have three AC and he's the only one that ever called me "momma". I think there's something so endearing about it....I know he's a grown man, but when he calls me "momma" I hear my little boy all over again.  I cherish the word.

[nikncon]

Dear themuffin so glad things are going so much better.Let us know when the baby comes so that we can celebrate with you.

[themuffin]

Thanks Nikncon   We've got a long way to go.  Baby isn't due until June 19th!  Hope DS survives until then. LOL

I'm looking forward to the arrival of this baby for a couple of reasons.  It's my son's child and he's going to be a father for the first time and I know how happy he is about that.  But also because I think that becoming a parent sometimes helps you to understand your parents.  When that baby arrives I know my son is going to feel a love unlike any he's ever felt before.  I imagine at some time he'll express to us the love that he feels for his baby and I'd like to take that moment to tell him that only now can he understand the love that his father and feel for him.  I'll tell him that there is no such thing as the perfect parent, and that sometimes you are going to make mistakes, but everything you do will be out of love and you can only hope that even when they don't agree they will always love you in return. I believe my DS will be receptive to this.  He's not in the angry place that he was anymore.  I think that what he needed was some space and time to grow up. Now that he's doing everything we used to do for him I think he realizes that it's not easy and actually respects us more for it.  We were younger than DS is now.  I was only 19 and DH was 20 when he set out on our own.  DS is 23.

Over the summer when he picked up the last of his stuff I included this:

If you remember that on birthdays everyone got a present …..
If you remember weekly game night…..
If you remember weekly movie night…..
If you remember weekly take out night….
If you remember Sunday dinners……
If you remember happy Christmas mornings…..
If you remember bed time stories….
If you remember plastic Easter eggs with money…..
If you remember going on family vacations every year….
If you remember singing in the car and eating chicken cutlets….
If you remember tons of books and toys and pets….
If you remember having both your parents at every graduation and award ceremony….
If you remember eating popcorn on the porch during a thunder storm….
If you remember swimming in many different hotels….
If you remember sneaking food into the movies and sharing one cone….
If you remember the “Big Greasy” and eating at Aldo’s Pizzeria….
If you remember being told “I love you” Or “I’m proud of you” Or “You represent”….
If you remember singing and dancing
If you remember big breakfast on the weekend….
If you remember the beach….
If you remember bubble baths….
If you remember picnics inside the tent…
If you remember the book we wrote and other fun things we did on the computer….
If you remember not being punished for telling the truth….
If you remember being listened to...
If you remember being talked to more than you were spanked….
If you don’t remember a lot of spankings….
If you remember being told your entire life that family is the most important thing in the world….

If you remember any of these things you should never forget the parents that loved you enough to help you make these memories.  You should never be disrespectful or ungrateful.  Perfect they were not.  But they did try to be the best parents they knew how to be.  You should all remember that the next time you say or do something that depreciates their efforts.

My other two remember....I think DS does as well.  My heart tells me he learning to appreciate us a little more.

[luise.volta]

Beautiful!

[themuffin]

Awwww...Thanks Luise!!

[nikncon]

Dear the muffin.That was so inspiring to all us moms who have done similar things with our AC.Beautiful!!!

[firelight]

I totally loved that, themuffin.  I think it made us all remember.  I might send something like that to my own DD sometime.  I have sent her cards on occasion, but this is a little trip down memory lane.  Sometimes people just need a lil ole reminder.  Thanks for sharing that.