I do want to express to all of you that this post is simply my expression of my own feelings, and I do not expect everyone to agree. We all come from different places and have many different perspectives. That's why this is such a special place to me. My opinion is just my own perspective. Someone else could look at the same "picture" and see something completely different and I do realize that. I noticed that my writing comes across as authoritative, and I hope nobody here has been insulted by that. I will work on this in the future, however, I do want everyone to know that I, in no way think I am above anyone else.
I still would like to thank everyone who reads my posts and responds to them. It's nice to know I'm important enough to you, that you would spend the time reading my thoughts, and I've received such warm replies from you. Thank you for that!
I don not think your posts come across authoritative...not in the least...
While I appreciate your words, which are beautiful...Coco, your posts are always insightful and said with much care....
yanno, there have been several women who have discussed this issue with me...and it upsets me that there are women in here who are feeling this way and I must add my 2 cents...
What coco has said here is very true...very true...and as I explained to several others...
your perspectives, your thoughts are feelings are you, they are who you are, which makes each of us very significant people...however, it must be said...that we all must realize this about each other...we're not all going to think and feel alike...
we all have different perspectives and views...b/c of how we were raised to believe...we are taught by our parents to think and feel as they do in all aspects of life...like our morals, our spiritual beliefs...they way we talk, how we interact, how we respond and so on...
It upsets me to see women in this forum, which I might add, is one of the best forums I've ever belonged to...with the most caring and wisest of people who belong, worry about what they are writing...
I for one, Think all of you write very well, very well, you all have great insight, and tons of care and love to share....however, we're not all going to agree all of the time...we can't, it's impossible....and we have to understand, when you make a post, someone might come in and say, well, I disagree and here is why....that is normal, human nature and ok to do that...that is the only way we learn...and go forward...
Life until the day we die, is a learning experience....we're all human beings, we all make mistakes and we're all going to continue to make mistakes....that is the only way we learn
However...for all you women to become so sensitive and worried about what your writing is becoming a problem....I ask of us...including me, to please stop being so sensitive and taking what someone is writing personal....
If I start a thread, and someone disagrees with what I'm saying, that's ok...so lets discuss it, debate it...ask questions, and go forward...please, lets not take offense to that....discussions cannot always be one sided, and I for one, want to learn and want you all to tell me when you think I'm wrong...that is why I'm here....I don't want anyone to hold back, otherwise, it wastes my time and defeats my purpose for being here.
I know I've made mistakes when it comes to my DIL...and I need to take ownership for my mistakes....and again, this is the very first site that I've ever belonged to, where women seem patient, kind, helpful, very wise, and loving....
I don't want to loose any of you, or see any of you stop posting due to fear that someone is going to take your words wrong.
We have explained this to each other over and over and over again...and if someone's feelings gets hurt, it's not intentional, and is something that that person is going to have to deal with and decide if this site is for him/her. However, Coco, you have never ever come across authoritative...mean, condiscending...or otherwise...
your not only a very good writer, but a huge asset to this forum...without you and the other members this forum would not be...you are a part of the whole...and Im' very sad that so many girls in here are starting to feel this way. Yanno coco, when someone says you come across authoritative, I see it as confidence, and some people actually fear those who are confident...and that is what I see in you and all the other women here is confidence.
I consider this site, valuable, very valuable, b/c it has helped me enormously, and without you, we would not exist...we all belong, but it takes many to make one...
you can't please all the people all the time...coco, you are a natural born leader...so if someone has a problem with that, then I'm very very sorry...but you don't come across that way, it's just something I see in you and I believe all the women here not only love you, but cherish your words. You cannot change who you are, your words are your identity...and even if you did come across a bit authoritative, and you don't....so what...we are all different...some are shy, some are cut and dry, some are very take over kinda people, some are gentle, some are gruff, and what it's about, is...accepting people for who they are...and realizing, they're identities is what makes them special! Each of us, is different, and each of us is signficant in being...however, we have to be able to allow others to learn and grow and encourage them to be successful, even if they're ideas do not match with ours.
I am cut and dry, very boyish in my way of taking, and realize I can be gruff...It isn't because I'm angry, hurt, or frustrated, happy, sad, or at peace....it's me, it's who I am...and I'm sorry if I offend people, but it is definately not meant or intended.
I've explained this many many times and others have said the same thing about themselves...so, if someone takes offense, I'm sorry, however, we can't let that worry us...or ruin a forum that is functioning and very profitable, and I believe most of the gals here would agree with me.
you cannot worry about your words and how they are going to come across to the point that your fearful of posting....and if someone disagrees, that's ok...I would hope the ladies in here are not agreeing with others, simply b/c they fear not to....?
Honesty to me, even if it hurts, is one of the most precious of gifts...I want to know when I'm wrong, cuz that is the only way I'm going to correct things and move forward....so honesty is something I very much admire in another...
I hope no one takes offense to this post, however, it had to be said...and I'm very sorry there some of you are very sensitive...however, I hope this post helps clear things up...we cannot take things personal, otherwise, we're going to stagnate our very own growth...and I might add, this is exactly how our DIL's react...
One more thing...there are going to be threads that each one of us venture into...if we don't enjoy reading what's being said, then don't read it, however, please don't complain about it or say it's offensive when others are contributing....that is our perogative, to like it or not...however, if it offends you, then I suggest you simply stay away from that particular thread...but allow others to continue in it....if they so choose.
Life is so easy, we humans make it so difficult...and I scorn the day, anyone feels they have the right to sensorship...no matter how we dislike what someone says, sensoring feelings and thoughts is a very very dangerous end to freedom.
Love and hugs to everyone
Creme
