luise.volta, Cocobars, 2 Chickiebaby, Red rose, Cremebrulee, Penstamen,
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for caring and expressing your care to give me strength. I do feel better knowing all of you emotionally support me.
I am depressed about the situation. I would be a cold and insensitive person if I weren't depressed. The loss of my only child has broken my heart beyond comprehension. The problem has been compounded by the hate overtly expressed towards me by my DIL. I know she has mental problems but that does not make the words or actions hurt less. She did not love my son and she wants nothing to do with me. I understand.
In this situation everyone looses. But my GD will suffer the most. What a shame.
Luise.volta your words ring true. I must learn to fulfill my life without my son or GD. As a young girl I was pregnant with my son. We grew up together. Losing him I lost my past, present and future. As my son would have said, " It is what it is." Thank you again for caring.
Invisible,
Your situation has been so difficult for you to live through. Having your son while you were young really would make you feel as if you are losing your past and your present.
It doesn't have to mean losing your future, even though I know right now you feel it's gone... You still have a full life ahead of you and I believe your son is able to smile on your life (and your GD's) from where he is right now. None of us knows what the future has in store for us. I've had so many unusual experiences that I have based my belief's on. I know not everyone has the same belief's I do, and they can be hard to hold onto when life gets in the way and something takes your breath away like this.
What I'm trying to say is that I pray for you each day and believe you have alot of life out there waiting for you! I believe God, or your son (loved ones), guardian angels or anyone from the other side sometimes reaches out on our behalf here and makes our lives better. It never seems like it when you are walking through that darkness and feeling so alone. I have never suffered the loss of my child, and can't begin to understand how what you have experienced has so deeply hurt you. I can only imagine, because it was my biggest fear as a parent! I hope you come to a place where you can see yourself as a survivor and can look ahead to that future, because I believe you have a very bright one. You are truly one of my hero's and I want you to find a wonderful future! I believe that son of yours is smiling down on you and his daughter, and all will be well for you both and if you truly look (watch) for signs you will find that to be true.
The future is something nobody can take away from you. NOBODY. It's something you can create if you can start dreaming for yourself. I believe you have reached a place where you care enough for yourself to start looking there and stop believing you have lost that "future." After all, I lost my future three years ago, and I'm still here. Not through the loss of a child, but it was devastating and paralyzing to me, along with other things that had happened at the same time.
I always felt such a connection with you. What you don't know about me is that I truly had lost everything too. Three years later may seem like too long to some, but each of us takes our own time healing. I haven't spoken about everything here because some of it is just too painful even now, but what I can say is that you have to give yourself time - time is the best healer. So many people don't understand that - but they don't have to know. You know why - because they are not you!
I am so proud of you! You remind me of something, a quote that I thought related to me also. I keep this on my bathroom mirror to remind me of who I am and where I'm going. It's a pretty simple little saying, but explains so much to me that my own future is still there and waiting for me to make it my own, yes even at my age. LOL!:
Just when the
caterpillar
thought the
world was over,
it became a butterfly!
Silly, huh! You find that thing that puts hope in your heart again, and start building from there! I believe there is a butterfly coming out of all this! I really do...
I hope you come back and find this. I know it's corny to some, and I am corney to some, but you have to look inside yourself, search outside yourself for signs and find the answers that are right for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...
Some of us walk through nightmares that others can't imagine or survive. I believe you can. If I can with my little life, then I know it's possible for someone like you! You are a hero, no matter what and your heart will tell you that someday! Well, besides me telling you that! You are my hero!
