In Memory of My Son

[Invisible]

There is a hole in my heart that cannot be measured.
There is a hole in my heart that cannot be filled.
The pain of loss remains.
Yes, I still cry. Nothing will ever be the same.

This space is with me all the time.
Sometimes the empty space is so real,
I can almost touch it.
I can almost see it.
It gets so big sometimes, I cannot see anything else.

[greeneyes100]

thank you for sharing  I read a small book called GRIEF AFTER LOSS  I found it to be of so much comfort after my loss

[Invisible]

Thank you for your suggestion. I have read several books looking for solace. I have found there are no words that can assuage my grief. My son is in heaven with his father and step father. I have no children and no family other than my GD. I am trying to develop that fragile relationship. However, God does not promise us time. We only have  this moment nothing.... else. As my son would have said, " It is what it is."
I am sorry you have suffered a loss.

thank you for sharing  I read a small book called GRIEF AFTER LOSS  I found it to be of so much comfort after my loss

[cocobars]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.  How did you lose him?  Is this anniversary?  Are you ok?

I do not "KNOW" (because I have not experienced that loss) how you must hurt.  I can only imagine, because it is in my worst nightmares as a mother.  I have feared it through some really bad drug addictions with one of my children. 

You are in the right place here.  "Amoungst many mothers."  Not all of us will really KNOW your pain, but most of us can imagine...

You are not invisible.  Don't be afraid to talk here...

[RedRose]

Invisible...

Just as my children needed me and "kept me going" after my first husband passed away years ago....I know your grandchild is doing the same for you....she needs you!

[cremebrulee]

Oh Dear, I'm so so sorry....Losing a child has been described as the worst kind of loss anyone could possibly go through, a searing and unspeakable pain. The emotions that accompany a loss of this magnitude is much like plumbing the depths of an abyss

Dearheart, to you and all who have experienced the loss of a child, do not be afraid to express what your feelings are, talk about it...write about it if you must...

Love to you
Creme

[cocobars]

My dearest invisible,

Your poem brought tears to my eyes and reminds me once again, just how much we all love our children.  How we build our whole worlds around them.  Maybe some of us are wrong by making them our lives.  Maybe I am still too immature to know that I have to make something else my whole world.  I do know, that you have brought me a gift through all your sadness.  You have brought me that gift of treasuring what I do have...

God bless you!

[Invisible]

Cocobars,
No this is not his angel day. I write to my son to help cope with my pain of loss. The holidays are a difficult time for me.
My son died as a result of a motorcycle accident. You ask if I am OK....I don't know how to answer. I don't think anything will ever be OK.... I think of my son 24/7. His little girl is his living legacy. Her well being is the purpose of my life.

Thank you for your kind words and continued emotional support.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.  How did you lose him?  Is this anniversary?  Are you OK?

I do not "KNOW" (because I have not experienced that loss) how you must hurt.  I can only imagine, because it is in my worst nightmares as a mother.  I have feared it through some really bad drug addictions with one of my children. 

You are in the right place here.  "Amoungst many mothers."  Not all of us will really KNOW your pain, but most of us can imagine...

You are not invisible.  Don't be afraid to talk here...

[Invisible]

Redrose,

I am sorry for your loss. When you lost your husband did that tragedy strengthen the relationship between you and your children? After the death of my husband my son and I were devastated. It brought us closer. I told him I could not stand to loose him. My world has been shaken to the core.

 My GD is all I have left. All I want to help her live a normal life. I do not want to be intrusive.  I am going to provide "free baby sitting service."  I will do whatever my DIL allows.
 

Invisible...

Just as my children needed me and "kept me going" after my first husband passed away years ago....I know your grandchild is doing the same for you....she needs you!

[Invisible]

Cremebrulee,
Thank you so much for your understanding. Writing letters and poems to my son is something I do for my pain. I don't know why but it helps...I cry and write and it helps.

Oh Dear, I'm so so sorry....Losing a child has been described as the worst kind of loss anyone could possibly go through, a searing and unspeakable pain. The emotions that accompany a loss of this magnitude is much like plumbing the depths of an abyss

Dearheart, to you and all who have experienced the loss of a child, do not be afraid to express what your feelings are, talk about it...write about it if you must...

Love to you
Creme

[RedRose]

Invisible,
My children were 8 and 13 when we lost him. He was very ill with colon cancer. If it were not for my children during that time and quite a few years after I do not know what I would have done.  I lived for them and we became very very close...we still are !

This is why I know you need your GD as much as she needs you. Keep as close to her as you can...your love for each other will somehow ease your pain.

[RedRose]

Invisible...I use to listen to the music we both loved and dance slowly like I was holding him in my arms...to "our" song...I did this almost every night...for weeks. It used to help with my pain...dance & cry.

[cocobars]

Invisible, I think it's wonderful that you write to your son.  Maybe it's just me, but I believe he can read every thought you put down to him.  He may even visit you still.  Have you ever had anything happen to confirm that he may be visiting and still be around you?