Toxic People........can and should be left behind

[JudyJudyJudy]

It seems to me that when we become the type of people that other's cannot manipulate, abuse and take advantage of, the toxic people will not waste their time of us.  Unfortunately, sometimes those people are family members.  Those are the ones you miss during the holidays!

Please congratulate me on making it through Christmas alone.  My brother who lives in Alabama called and we spent three hours on the phone and a lot of that time I was crying.  However, just hearing his voice and knowing he cared about me was the most wonderful Christmas gift ever because I know God answered my prayers.  It should be all uphill for me now and am considering taking down the picture of my beloved grandson but not ready yet.

Love to you All!

[colleen01]

Congrats! that's huge, and it's almost over, thank God !  And so glad you had your dear brother to talk to.   hugs and high fives!!!!!

[JudyJudyJudy]

My brother IS precious.  Thanks for the congrats!

[Pooh]

What a great Christmas present Judy!  Yay!

[firelight]

Congrats on the new low BP, Keys Girl! 

@ "Not like the movies":  I guess I'm a pushover.  I doubt I'd deliver the baby items DD needs, but since I purchased them as gifts for DD and her 1st babe, I feel that they are her items (but that is just me).  I'd let her know she may come get them when she has transportation to pick them up....and to call first so you know she's coming and so you can be home.  With the way she is acting toward you, I certainly wouldn't do all the work like they are expecting.  "C'mone and get it if you want it."

I know all I had here was a playpen for GC to sleep in.  Now DD has the playpen and I have the baby bed.....which is just rediculous since I feel the baby deserves better at her own home.  But, she does sleep well when she visits Grandma/Grandpa in her own crib.

best wishes to you. 

[firelight]

"not at the movies" :  I think only of the GC here.  That is why I feel the way I do about it.

Lovin' the posts about toxic people.  They're just weeds in the garden of life!  Gotta pluck 'em out.

Keys Girl, gonna have to borrow that quote "with those we assemble we soon resemble".  That is a fact. 

[firelight]

P.S.  Congrats, Judy Judy Judy, on making it through Christmas.  warm thoughts and *hugs* to you.   

[Lisa41]

It is hard when the toxic people are in our family! Since I have stopped interacting with my toxic AD, my BP has also dropped 30 points. We don't realize the physical damage this ongoing stress does to us.
 I believe asking for "things" is all part of the cycle of emotional abuse so many of us go through. Even though you initially bought them for your first GC, you have to draw a line in terms of her mistreatment of you. She can't have it both ways. And as others have said, if you give her these things in her mind she has won. The abuse will continue.

[Keys Girl]

Congrats, Judy, Judy, Judy!!

"You're gonna make it after all!!" refrain from the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme where she throws her hat up in the air.

I'm happy the holidays are over.......it's still a trying time, being on the sidelines while many people are excited and sharing their family reunions.  I try to remember that while there are some people who were born into happy families, I think that when all is said and done, no one person has more advantages over the other.  Some people get great families or great health or great minds but we usually also get some heartbreak and pain thrown in with the great stuff so it all evens out in the wash.

I'm incredibly relieved at having my blood pressure down given where it was a year ago.  I know I was a whisker away from a stroke or heart attack and have taken a lot of steps to not get anywhere near that territory again.  I know that just being able to walk into a grocery store without hearing Christmas carols helped yesterday.

A new year is just around the corner, so I hope that everyone has a great year in 2012,

KG

[firelight]

I'm with you Keys Girl....I'm relieved the holidays are over for the most part. 
We all need to concentrate on keeping our stress low as possible.....bodies in stress mode all the time is terrible for our organs. 

On to the new year ! 

[Elise]

I hear you on those Xmas carols - I am and was fine with friends only on Xmas, yet those Xmas carols brought tears everytime I walked in a store the last couple of weeks. Guess it is all the echoes from the past and even when I think I have left my expectations behind they trigger something.

I know miracles happen, so I do not close myself to that possibility. However...My abusive DS and ghost/shadow DIL of a year had a iscarriage a month ago, and told me in a text.  While I was able to express genuine concern for them and they accepted my concern, it reverted to abuse again quickly as I was castigated for not responding immediately to the text which only said he wanted some girl advice - something I would not give in any event. I had no idea they were preggers! I anticipate they will probably go ahead soon and have a baby (God willing).  I feel odd that I have not any feelings of hope a grandchild will change anything, living 18 hours by car away from them, seeing them rarely and almost to the point of total disconnect due to DS being unable or unwilling to observe the boundaries I have requested and he agreed to a few months ago. I do not know if it is just me protecting my heart against future pain, yet I watched my son marry a year ago today and observed the polite yet very distant way his wife and her family treated her 96 year old GM, (mother of the father) who is still completely sharp mentally. It sems to me the connection and quality of the connection with GC goes through the mother of the children normally and it is a rare DIL who encourages wthout tainting the connection between children and GM's.  So...I do not dream of those children to come, I spend my time dreaming about the little ones I know here already around me. When I can't sleep I think of those children and relive the wonderful times I have with them as my friends and their children so generously share their GC with me.
Maybe I am just weird or maybe the last years brought me to this point. 

[Doe]

If you want to not be affected by the Xmas songs,  hold a retail job during the season.  The decorations come out around Halloween, the songs start playing around T'giving! 

One's sentiments about the songs are subject to change after a few weeks...

[Elise]

Good idea Doe.  I'll just blast those dittties next year until they are white noise and maybe make a little moolah in the meantime. Thanks