Baby Storm

[AnonymousDIL]

This article was on Yahoo!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

I guarantee the MIL has not changed the baby's diaper yet! Soooo odd! lol

[LaurieS]

They have one 5 year old child who is already unhappy and going through a gender crisis and this is their solution?  I'd like to see a follow up report in 10 years from now.

[AnonymousDIL]

Agreed, Laurie.... I wonder if they'll tell the kid if they are a boy or girl! LOL

[Scoop]

I can see the point these people are trying to make and I applaud them for it, but MAN they've chosen a hard row to hoe.

I don't believe in strict gender roles.  I was very saddened to hear about the boy in DD's class who's Dad FORBADE him from wearing the dress-up dresses.  Or the fact that this same boy was teased for wearing bracelets.  I think it's much harder for boys to be "girly" than for girls to be "tomboys".

The only thing we can do is be good role-models to our same-gender children.  So it means that I've had to suck it up and pick up worms, to show DD that it was cool.  In our family, it's Mommy who mows the lawn and uses the snowblower.  Mommy is just as good as Daddy at fixing things.  DD wears a lot of pink, because she loves it.  She plays dolls, but also t-ball, because it's fun.

I just feel bad for the older boys because it doesn't seem like they like the idea.  I know of another family who doesn't push the gender thing, but their son is DELIGHTED to wear pink and pigtails and he LOVES to make people wonder at his gender.  It just doesn't seem like this family in the news is being sensitive to what their son wants and what he's comfortable with.

[SassyDI]

I just don't really get it whats the point?  I had a lot of problems working in CC(childcare) where parents would get so angry with me for allowing DS to play with Barbies.  Well guess what I don't tell the children what they can and cannot play with.  So you can kindly move on.  Boys wore heels and walked around with purses pretending to be mom's. 

I disagree more the "unschooled" (they "unschool" their childre) thing also how is a child to learn struture and be a protective person in the work force if he always gets a free for all.  I just don't really get this style of parenting.  I mean at home DD isn't on a schedule but I put her is Gymnastics and she will start preschool because it teaches her how to follow directions.  Her first Gymnastics programs was a free for all.  They had stuff they could do but if they didn't want to they could do what they wanted.  From 1-2 that was perfect for her.  But once she got closer to three I found a new place that they have to do what the teacher wanted.   I am not doing this to make her the next gold winner I am doing it for social and sturture lessons.

[Pooh]

Sorry but I can't get on board with this.  I could have cared less if my sons wanted to play with a barbie or have tea parties, and as a girl...I loved making mud pies and playing football.  My YS used to sit on the bathroom counter while I was getting ready for work and put on his makeup for the day, just like Mommy.  It was play, and it was mimicing whoever he was with.  He used to sit with his PaPaw and shave too. 

To me, life is confusing enough without me letting my children choose if they are a girl or boy.  We may not like that society has rules, but it does and I think it's more valuable to let children know that you are a boy, but it's ok that you can have feelings, cry and be sensitive to people.  It's also ok that you can be strong, heroic and independant.  That shouldn't be tied to a gender, but they were still boys.  If I had a girl, I would have taught her the same lessons, but she was still a girl.

[holliberri]

I think the parents reasoning makes sense, but their plan doesn't, really. I'm guilty of letting people call my DD a boy when they see her. I was correcting people but they started saying, "Well, Dad...ya better get a  shotgun!" or "Your mommy needs to put you in a  dress." I quit because, well, I don't think the shotgun message (although it is supposed to be a compliment, I guess), is the right message I want my daughter to hear. I believe that No, her dad won't need a shoutgun because she'll be able to take care of herself and handle herself in most situations. She needs protecting. Besides, it's her Mama that made Marksman, not her Dad. LOL. Who knows, maybe DD will need to protect us if she's into that.

Anyhow, I found that the messages about boys..."Wow, he's  healthy and strong, maybe a soccer player with those long legs" are a lot more palatable than "Why aren't you wearing a dress?" It's funny how people immediately turn their comments around upon correction of gender.

I do appreciate the fact that people ASK "boy or girl?" I double  appreciate it when she wears pink and people still ask. I like to believe that's a sign of the common gender roles falling to the wayside.

Plus, I was looking at my g-ma and g-pas baby photos. Pink was the in-color for boys then and blue for girls. Why? Because pink was considered assertive (a variant of red) and blue was considered a peaceful calm color.

DD will always be a girl to me, unless she decides like Chaz Bono it's time to change. I just want her to experience the rough and tumble that boys get to too. If she rejects it, that's cool. I won't mind the tea parties and the dripping in pink...so long as she is making the decision to do that, and no one is forcing her. My in-laws have already suggested that I should be trying to make DD submissive, since that is what a woman's role is in society. They told me if I don't start now, she won't be a lady. HUH?

Again, I guess that's the long way of saying I understand their frustration, but I've never thought the opposite end of one extreme was the best option.

[pam1]

lol it just seems like too much work for me.  What ever happened to just letting people be?

DDs first childcare provider was from a different country and use to tell the kids what were good toys for boys and girls.  No, I didn't like it so I taught DD at home the difference.  She was an excellent provider otherwise and a great friend today, eh it's just another example of a person in the world who doesn't believe in the exact same things you do.

My father used to get after us girls who would dress up our little brothers.  He'd huff and puff saying we were going to turn our brothers "funny."  However his company is majority gay and lesbian that he hires personally.

I agree with Pooh, it just doesn't make sense to me to keep bringing these issues to a child level.  It seems like it's the grown ups problem.  Be open with your children, talk to them frankly and honestly.  If you have a penis that means you're anatomically a boy, what's so hard about that?  If you feel like a girl than keep on talking about it. 

[AnonymousDIL]

My in-laws have already suggested that I should be trying to make DD submissive, since that is what a woman's role is in society. They told me if I don't start now, she won't be a lady. HUH?

HaHa, "submissive." Sometimes I wonder how many people truly understand what it means to be submissive. It doesn't mean to sit back and take whatever is given to you because you don't have the right to speak for yourself because you are "woman." It does not mean that you "belong" to your man as if you are a possesion.

I am "submissive" to my husband, but he is not a dictator to me. I am his equal. He values and respects my input and we come to decisions as a couple. Maybe he is the one who makes those decisions known to the "world," but I had more than my fair share of input.

I love this saying: "God didn't creat Eve from Adam's feet so he could walk all over her, or from his head so she could rule over him, but from his side so that she would be his equal."

P-shaw! If that means I'm not a lady, just call me Mr. Anon LOL

[Pooh]

Ha!  There's not a submissive bone in this body!  I still cross my legs when I sit though.

[holliberri]

By nature, I am very submissive, to everyone. It  has done me more harm than good, I think.

[AnonymousDIL]

I do tend to keep my mouth shut in public (especially around the IL's) because I want to make sure DH and I are on the same page. People probably think I couldn't tie my shoes without his permission lol

[Pen]

While I'm all for letting kids be who they are, I really don't like to see parents use their children as a social experiment. But I get their point; once we know someone's gender we assume a lot. I'm the spider-rescuer in our home, LOL, while DH is the baker.

[LaurieS]

Good thing the child is not black, they would probably opt not to allow him to identify with his race along with his gender.

[Rose799]

By nature, I am very submissive, to everyone. It  has done me more harm than good, I think.

Your protective nature toward dd will help to change that, Holly; that, along with time & experience.  Life is a journey...